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Speed Dating: The Smarter, Faster Way to Lasting Love Hardcover – March 19, 2002

by Yaacov Deyo (Author), Sue Deyo (Author)

15 ratings

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Want a faster, less painful path to lasting love? Now, a founder of SpeedDating -- hailed by U.S. News & World Report as "the original fast-date service" -- reveals the essential questions you need to ask in order to date, evaluate, and even marry Mr. or Ms. Right. SpeedDating(SM) shows how to judge quickly whether a relationship has a future before a large time or emotional investment has been made.

Based on the worldwide success of SpeedDating events -- a unique form of round-robin dating -- this book translates and expands upon the essential strategies of this dynamic approach to help you date smarter, not longer! Its accessible Q & A format features tools, tactics, and exercises to help you gauge a relationship's true potential. Included are stories of singles who have used SpeedDating's principles to change their approach to dating and find the relationship they were seeking.

For someone in search of a meaningful and lasting relationship, today's dating scene can be brutal. If you want to date with less heartache and heartbreak and a lot more efficiency and fun, let SpeedDating(SM) put you on the fast track to love.

Print length

224 pages
Language

English
Publisher

William Morrow
Publication date

March 19, 2002
Dimensions

5.5 x 0.87 x 8.25 inches
ISBN-10

0066212553
ISBN-13

978-0066212555
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Yaacov Deyo is a graduate of Harvard, where he studied physics and Nicaraguan land reform. On a grant from Harvard, he was involved in conflict resolution in Belfast, Ireland. Returning home, he ran a homeless shelter in Boston. In 1996 he was ordained as a rabbi after seven years of advanced study at the Aish HaTorah Yeshiva. Yaacov and his students created SpeedDating events to help Los Angeles Jewish singles meet each other. Within a year, SpeedDating expanded to more than twenty-five cities worldwide and was featured in major media, including the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, People, the View, the Early Morning Show on CBS, NPR, and more. Currently Yaacov runs SpeedDating Worldwide, lectures on SpeedDating principles, and is the educational director of Aish Los Angeles, one of the largest Jewish education centers in the country.

Sue Deyo, a graduate of Stanford University, is a dating coach and often teaches the SpeedDating approach to dating. The Deyos live in Los Angeles, California.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ William Morrow (March 19, 2002)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0066212553
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0066212555
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.87 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #3,085,554 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #5,144 in Dating (Books)
- #9,405 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- #13,977 in Marriage

Customer Reviews:
15 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		28%
4 star		43%
3 star 0% (0%)		0%
2 star		13%
1 star		16%

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Top reviews from the United States

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Mama Doc

I followed their directions and used my happily married friends as a dating team to help me ...

Reviewed in the United States on January 9, 2016

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This is the book that helped me find my spouse. I followed their directions and used my happily married friends as a dating team to help me assess possible people to date, and I used the book to help me clarify what I value and what I was looking for. But it was still a process that took awhile and I was willing to wait until I found the right person. I used 3 online dating sites. But we are very happily married for almost 2 years now.

Helpful

G. J Wiener

Comprehensive Dating Guide

Reviewed in the United States on September 14, 2002

Verified Purchase

Speed Dating gives valuable information about locating your soul mate without waiting precious time. Many factors go into finding that special mate. Authors Yaacov and Sue Deyo advise inner personal qualities as more important than immediate physical chemistry.
In addition, they stress the importance of having goals for yourself as well as a relationship. It is emphasized that no person is perfect. However, the authors advise that each person should determine which traits in a mate are extremely necesary and others are not necessary. The illustrations that support these points are excellent.
This is an excellent book to re-read to further teach yourself good dating habits. It is a little basic in spots, but most open minded people can learn a great deal of Speed Dating.

6 people found this helpful

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Kay Williams

A good read.

Reviewed in the United States on September 13, 2016

Verified Purchase

A good read.

Helpful

Amazon Customer

The book is useless to me.

Reviewed in the United States on May 1, 2016

Verified Purchase

The Aish Ha Torah Philadelphia Area speed dating exists only in hyperspace. The book is useless to me.

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Skye

It's ok

Reviewed in the United States on April 26, 2011

Verified Purchase

The premise of the book is good for someone who has a group setting, almost match maker group, to work within. It did not work for me as I do not.
Skye

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Is this my soul mate?

Reviewed in the United States on January 21, 2003

"For someone seeking a meaningful and lasting relationship, today's dating scene can be brutal. You meet someone, begin dating, date more seriously, fall into a semi or full-time living-together arrangement-and then it doesn't work out, leaving one or both of you heartbroken."

If you are a hopeless romantic, you probably think you will simply find the right person and get married. Not to mention living happily ever after. But do you know the right questions to ask? This book is more about applying the fundamental skills of SpeedDating to your own relationships and is based on the tenets of Jewish philosophy and wisdom.

Speed Dating is about saving time in the dating process. If "What was I thinking" is your lament, then this book will provide the questions you should ask yourself, your date and others so you can evaluate your relationships more quickly before you commit hours of your time to a person you might really not be compatible with.

You will learn:

How to eliminate time-wasting, heartbreaking relationship habits
How to tell when you are "in love" and whether this will last
How to determine four levels of commonality with the person you are dating
How to accurately evaluate your date in the shortest amount of time
Tips for keeping dating productive as well as fun
Tools for discovering your date's true character

The following questions are discussed in Part 1:

1. What is my desired outcome?
2. How can I tell When I'm in Love?
3. Am I attracted to who people are or to what they have or what they can do for me?
4. What do we have in common - and does it matter?
5. What type of person do I enjoy giving to?
6. Am I reliving the same bad date over and over again.
7. Am I spending as much time in product development as I am in marketing?
8. What do I like and respect about myself?
9. Who is my team?
10. Do I trust this is going to work out - that I will find my soul mate?

Part 2 focuses on the SpeedDating way and includes "SpeedDating pacing"and more questions.

11. Do I enjoy being with this person?
12. What are my thoughts telling me - which should I listen to and which should I ignore.
13. Is this an action, or my interpretation of an action?
14. Is this relationship ready for physical intimacy?
15. What am I going to learn during this date?
16. Did my date pass the team screen?
17. How does my date behave when not on a date?
18. What challenges will this relationship have, and am I prepared to handle or live with these challenges long-term?

You will also find out how to recognize a "shaper," "avoider," "defaulter," and "cynic."

The section on chemistry is intriguing. There are aspects of love that cannot be expressed verbally.

"If love is a feeling that mysteriously appears and disappears, how can we ever be certain that it won't suddenly disappear?" pg. 16

I could appreciate the section on how a "giver" and a "taker" can result in a painful situation. The taker has strong expectations that everyone should give to him and the giver often wants appreciation and doesn't receive it. As they say, giving to a taker is extremely painful. I think we all want to be appreciated for the gifts we give.

The section on self-esteem was enlightening. Taking care of yourself physically and emotionally might also mean you are willing to be more aware of the needs of others.

Never doubt that the small things count. Like how much TV a person watches or if they are interested in their health.

The aspect of sexual relations is intriguing and from a Jewish perspective, physical intimacy is the merging of two souls. So, when you are intimate with someone your souls join and a part of each soul is exchanged. I also loved the chapter on Soul Mates. Do soul mates exist? Apparently a soul mate is the person who will help you reach your fullest potential, tolerate your flaws and love you for who you are.

I don't think you can fully appreciate what a soul mate is until you have found them. I'm of the opinion that soul mates appear when you are supposed to change into who you are becoming and they don't normally appear a minute sooner.

A book that tries to take the pain out of the dating game. It is based on the worldwide success of SpeedDating events.

~The Rebecca Review

17 people found this helpful

Helpful

Shane

Very helpful, but style a bit awkward, lacking in some areas

Reviewed in the United States on May 7, 2002

The first thing you have to know about this book is that it is written by a Rabbi and his wife, so you are getting a Jewish perspecitve on how to date smarter. I am not Jewish and found their approach and much of their advice helpful, and you can too. Because of this however, the book is a bit conservative on the issues of physical intimacy. So if you buy this book thinking that SpeedDating is just an easy way to get laid, you are seriously mistaken.

Since this book was written by two people, it is awkward to read. The reason I say this is the point of view changes constantly and I found this confusing. In high school English class, kids are tought to use one point of view for their essay (even if it was co-authored) and stick with it. Yacoov and Sue Deyo (the authors) fail to do this with this book switching freely between "I" and "We."

I found the parts on what to do on specific dates to be very helpful. I also liked the idea of having a date coach, someone who you can talk with throughout the dating process. Also, their description of various types of relationships, particularly the shooting star relationship was very helpful. In fact, if Tommy Lee had read this part of the book, he would not have married Pamala Anderson after only knowing her for four days. He would have also avoided a jail sentence and a custody battle which resulted from this tumultuous shooting star relationship. That alone should be enough to convince you to buy this book (despite its awkward writing style)

6 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Amazon Customer

Amazing book

Reviewed in Canada on January 24, 2019

Verified Purchase

Amazing book!!! A must read for singles looking for a soul mate. I have shared the book with my friends and nieces. I received the book early in ok condition.

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Speed Dating: The Smarter, Faster Way to Lasting Love Hardcover – March 19, 2002

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