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Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian Paperback – April 21, 2015

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Wesley Hill (Author)
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Wesley Hill (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars 32 customer reviews
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Frequently Bought Together

  • Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian
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  • Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality
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  • What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality?
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Brazos Press (April 21, 2015)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1587433494
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587433498
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #73,606 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

5.0 out of 5 starsThe life of a celibate christian does not have to end (or worse endure) in loneliness...
By Jeb S Ralston on April 2, 2015
Format: Paperback
I have been long awaiting this new book from Wesley Hill. Hill is a pioneer when it comes to the murky waters of affirming celibacy and a traditional sexual ethic within the church. But this does not mean Hill is asking for those (celibate, gay christians) to pursue a life without intimacy, certainly not. This is where Hill challenges us to a rekindle a better understanding of friendship in a more holistic manner.

In "Spiritual Friendship", Wesley Hill poignantly crafts his own experiences into a rich telling and exposition on the long, lost tradition of committed, spiritual friendships. Hill expertly takes a look at the world & culture we live in and shows how friendship has in several ways become a foreign language to us. Without becoming unrealistic or overly sentimental, Hill also begins to express both personally and theologically what a transformed view of friendship might look to us practically.

It's not uncommon when talking about friendship as a celibate person (take it from me) to begin to idealize friendship especially when one's own sexual orientation and theological beliefs seem to almost hinge upon it for survival. But Hill does not do this. Hill, with a heart-breaking and common-to-me honesty, really speaks into the hardship of friendship: "that's the perfect description of trying to love your best friend when he doesn't love you back, or at least not in the way you wish he would." Hill doesn't only just speak of the potential byproducts that occur with intimate friendships but also speaks of the suffering that must occur with and within friendship, "The calling of friendship is, in other words, a call to pain. Joy, yes, and consolation, but not as a substitute for pain...Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starsFriends and Lovers?
By James R. V. Matichuk on May 20, 2015
Format: Paperback
Wesley Hill self identifies as a gay, celibate Christian. That is, he is same-sex attracted but his theological convictions preclude him from joining in a romantic, sexual partnership with another man. His early book, Washed and Waiting (Zondervan, 2010) tells of his journey of seeking to follow God with his Christian faith and sexual orientation in tension. In his new book, Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian, he explores the importance of friendship in the Christian life, especially for those in the LGBT community. Hill is bookish and thoughtful. He is also vulnerable about his struggles to form deep non-sexual friendships with other men. Despite the heartache he feels in pursuing the ideal of Christian friendship, he sees it as a gift to gay Christians. And us all.

This is a short book, consisting of six chapters, divided into two parts. In part one, 'Reading Friendship', Hill explores the necessity of friendship in the Christian life. Chapter one explores some of the ways that friendship has been marginalized and eclipsed in contemporary culture (6). Hill weaves together a narrative of himself naming his need of friends (on the eve of his confirmation) with theological reflections from Benjamin Myers, C.S. Lewis and seveal literary references. As a gay Christian, he feels the need for friendships acutely but the lack of cultural space for friendships impoverishes everyone.
Chapter two explores deeper the special dispensation of friendship and the cultural history of it. Hill points to Bethge and Bonhoeffer's friendship and how they saw how fragile friendship was and the ways it was not recognized by others (25). A later readings of Bethge and Bonhoeffer's relationship claim that it was 'really a homosexual partnership'.Read more ›
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5.0 out of 5 starsWords about friends
By E. Ritzema on May 22, 2015
Format: Paperback
Wesley Hill is an assistant professor of New Testament at Trinity School in Ambridge, PA. He published a book with Eerdmans earlier this year called Paul and the Trinity. But in addition to his academic interests, he is also known for having written the book Washed and Waiting, which chronicles his journey toward identifying himself as gay.

As a Christian who believes that the Bible and Christian tradition testify that the only legitimate expression of sex is within heterosexual marriage, however, Hill is also celibate. This book, Spiritual Friendship: Finding Love in the Church as a Celibate Gay Christian, is his attempt to revive a deeper practice of friendship within the church (he has also spent a lot of time wrestling with this subject on the blog Spiritual Friendship). As such, in spite of the subtitle, this book is really for anyone—gay, straight, single, or married—who has sensed there is something missing from friendship in the modern world but can’t put their finger on exactly what it is.

The book comes in two parts: “one that focuses more on the cultural background, history, and theology of friendship and another that focuses more on the actual living out of friendship” (xviii). Hill writes that he is “someone who makes sense of life with the help of books” (90), and this book is a gratifying, if brief, exploration of a wide swath of literature on friendship. Hill’s own style is enjoyable to read, and often contains word pictures that struck me with their truth. In the last chapter, he gives six practical suggestions for fostering “more committed, more sibling-like friendships” (106).

1. Admit our need for friendship
2. Renew the practice of friendship in the church by starting with the friendships we already have
3.Read more ›
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

2.0 out of 5 starsA "Dangerous" Book

Sorry, but I refuse to believe that God wants gay people to live lonely, celibate lives of "suffering."

Published 4 months ago by membruto
4.0 out of 5 starsFour Stars

Eye opening, well-researched thought provoking and heartfelt.

Published 4 months ago by Nattawat Theeralerttham
5.0 out of 5 starsTruthful and useful

As someone who has gone through struggles almost identical to Hill's, I think this book reads exquisitely. Read more

Published 6 months ago by Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 starsA must read for those desiring deeper friendships

Excellent book that I've been wanting to read for a long time!

Published 6 months ago by Hemlady
5.0 out of 5 starsa complete, sensitive, and insightful account of what ...

a complete, sensitive, and insightful account of what it (could) mean for the christian community to live together. i think a lot of churches/leaders could learn from this book.

Published 6 months ago by Kris
4.0 out of 5 starsInsightful vision of friendship

The hope that friendship can become more than uncommitted acquaintances is presented in this honest, and at times painful vision. We all need friends. Read more

Published 7 months ago by Rhordan
2.0 out of 5 starsNot before taking false notions of sexuality captive to the Word of...

There are some practical and important principles in this book for the church to help people better prioritize friendships. Read more

Published 7 months ago by DELA
3.0 out of 5 starsDr. Hill does present material to make appropriate argument ...

Dr. Hill does present material to make appropriate argument for his position, however he leaves many unanswered questions with this volume. Read more

Published 8 months ago by thevicar
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Great book!

Published 9 months ago by Lina Miller
5.0 out of 5 starsFive Stars

Excellent read for anyone in the church desiring more authentic relationships.

Published 10 months ago by SBott

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