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Star Wars: The Force Awakens Collector's Edition [Blu-ray 3D] [Region Free]
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Please note this is a UK Import and Disney Rewards will not available in the US. Visionary director J.J. Abrams brings to life the motion picture event of a generation. As Kylo Ren and the sinister First Order rise from the ashes of the Empire, Luke Skywalker is missing when the galaxy needs him most. It’s up to Rey, a desert scavenger, and Finn, a defecting stormtrooper, to join forces with Han Solo and Chewbacca in a desperate search for the one hope of restoring peace to the galaxy.
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Plans for a super weapon that can destroy planets and a droid has them. The droid ends up on a desolate desert planet. A young hero living on said planet wants to help so the hero needs to get the plans in the hands of the rebellion. The hero and friend need a ride, so they use the Millennium Falcon to get off the desert planet. They need Han Solo. The super space station is protected by a dark Sith Lord in a helmet with a red light saber. He used to be righteous, but was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. Throw in a chirping droid, a Jedi master, and a flurry of one-liners.
Yes, I know what you’re thinking----it’s 1977 and I just told you the plot of Star Wars: A New Hope. Sorry to disappoint. It’s not. It’s a mutated monstrosity known as The Force Awakens.
For Pete’s sake, “death star” is “star-killer” now?! The dark lord in black whose face is obscured by a helmet now doesn’t even need the helmet? He breathes just fine. He’s a Millennial style wimpy creampuff teenager with anger issues of butthurtness. Somehow after the fall of the rebellion, this “First Order” bunch came into trillions of credits worth of dough to build infinitely more destructive equipment than the Empire had? How does that work? The Empire operated off lying to the people of the Galactic Republic. They steadily built up a military of keeping people safe (sound familiar!?), and under this illusion Sidious built a mighty empire. He needed to fool the people and continually fleece the Republic of its wealth in order to build his massive military complex. How did the First Order manage this? And how could JJ Abrams outdo himself when it comes to making bland films devoid of plot and substance? Everything this man touches turns to fecal material, I swear. He never watched Star Trek, yet thought himself worthy to butcher my beloved Trek turning it into a shlock fest of dumb action sequences and banality. Now Disney, in their wisdom (eye roll) places a national treasure, Star Wars, in his ‘capable’ hands.
My theory is that Abrams put this train wreck of a film together going on the theory that the average American theater-goer either forgot the entire plot of Star Wars: A New Hope and/or that millennials are clueless about the aforementioned Episode IV. This movie was a rehash repackaging for a new generation. It is akin to the fake shutters on houses that really don’t close over the windows, or the air grabber on 1980’s Camaros that didn’t really grab air. It’s empty and devoid of meaning. Only JJ Abrams could make Han Solo’s death have no emotion and give me no sense of loss whatsoever. I first fell in love with Han’s character in 1977 as a tiny boy, and have adored that “scoundrel” my whole life. His death was pitiful and uninteresting. Abrams has the inability to bring emotion or buy-in.
If only Gareth Edwards, who so capably and superbly brought us Star Wars: Rogue One, had directed this monstrosity and had creative influence! If only the Rogue One writers Weitz, Gilroy, Knoll, and Whitta had been at the helm of Force Awakens, we might have had reason to feel Star Wars is relevant again.
Even in the dark days of Phantom Menace and Clones I could see SOME semblance of meaning or new ideas, depth or though. This movie was from opening to closing a complete and utter waste of my time. I saw it in the theater and was tempted to walk out. I watched it two more times at home on cable just to be sure I wasn’t dreaming this insult to my movie-going intelligence. But, I’m sad to say, this platitude buffet of clichés and rehashes continues to disappoint.
Don’t walk away from this film, RUN. Go home and watch Rogue One followed by Episodes IV through VI and be content to end the Star Wars experience with dancing Ewoks….
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