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Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death Paperback – April 20, 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
The philosopher Martin Heidegger once remarked that we can live intensely only if we stare death in the face every moment of our lives. Bestselling psychiatrist Yalom (Love's Executioner) attempts to put this principle into practice in a sometimes thoughtful, often repetitious book. Drawing on literature and film, as well as conversations with his patients, Yalom demonstrates how the fear of retirement, concerns about changing jobs or moving to another city, or changes in family status (such as the empty nest) are rooted in our deepest, most inescapable fear: of death. Yet, he says, this anxiety can prompt an awakening to life and help us realize our connections to others and our influence on those around us. Through such experiences we can transcend our sense of “finiteness and transiency” and live in the here and now. In a final chapter, Yalom offers instructions for therapists seeking to help their patients overcome death anxiety. Although in the 1980s Yalom, now 76, provided new insights into the human psyche with his innovative method of “existential psychotherapy,” this book recycles well-known philosophical insights, but Yalom's humane, calm voice may bring them to a new audience. (Feb.) (Publishers Weekly, November 5, 2007)
"Staring at the Sun is neither textbook nor mere self-help. Philosophical it is, but never arid with theory. Its lively chapters are populated with patients whose raw angst Yalom refines into vignettes that are always enlightening and often quite moving." -- Washington Post
"So what to do about the dread of death? ... [Yalom's] key prescriptions are true connections with others, a feeling one has lived well and "rippling" - having positive impacts and memories live on in others after you die. These deceptively obvious goals are, obviously, not easily attained: What thinking and feeling person truly lives a life with no regrets? But they are inarguably worthwhile ones." -- San Francisco Chronicle--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
Top Customer Reviews
It should be noted up front that the author is not religious. If his patient follows a certain faith, Dr. Yalom encourages his or her belief if it is helpful to the healing process. But he is a rationalist who is more in line with evolutionary thought and secular philosophy than with spiritual leanings. His treatment methods include guided dream interpretation, and encouraging awakening experiences as a form of existential shock therapy. Along those lines, Dr. Yalom advocates some of the philosophical teachings of Epicurus, Nietzsche, and Schopenhauer to help his patients come to terms with their mortality and cultivate the ability to "create the fate that [they] can love."
There is much to like about this book. I admired the author's candor about his own fears of impending death at the age of 76, and how his struggles have enabled him to help others in the same boat. In addition, I appreciated the personal touch he brings to his practice, including appropriate self-revelation and a commitment to help his patients even at inconvenient times. I got the sense that he truly cares about them, but still manages to maintain appropriate boundaries without being rigid or condescending.Read more ›
If we were to think constantly about death, it would be like "trying to stare at the sun in the face: You can stand only so much of it." Therefore, as a form of self-protection, many of us avoid the subject entirely. After all, we are busy enough attending to life's routines. Work, marriage, raising a family, making friends, cultivating hobbies, and participating in communal and charitable endeavors can take up a great deal of time. Why contemplate an unpleasant subject that can lead to unhappiness and depression? No matter how we may try to ignore it, however, certain life events bring death to the fore, such as a milestone birthday, a serious illness, divorce, retirement, or grown children leaving home. Any such transition can traumatize a vulnerable individual.
The author is a non-observant Jew who turns to philosophers such as Epicurus, Nietzsche, and Schopenhauer for guidance. Those who worship a deity may be put off by Yalom's staunch secularism. Still, this book does offer an approach that anyone can implement, no matter what his beliefs.Read more ›
"Staring at the Sun" is the eminent psychiatrist Irvin Yalom's latest book based upon the premise that not just many, but all of our fears---fears that on the surface seem to be something else---are in actuality, the fear of death.
However, this is not a depressing book. Understanding and accepting death anxiety can bring us to a greater appreciation of life. The author writes, "Death awareness may serve as an awakening experience, a profoundly useful catalyst for major life changes." The book explores how this might be.
The second to the last chapter of the book is a memoir of the author's own personal encounters with death anxiety and his reflections in anticipation of his own death. I found this chapter to be moving and poignant. The last chapter is written specifically for therapists. The entire book includes stories from the author's psychotherapeutic practice.
The print is large and easy to read. The book includes a reader's guide in the back that would be helpful for book clubs and self-help or other therapeutic groups.
I thought this book was wise above all, brave, human, personal, and inspirational without being religious or even spiritual.
February 9, 2008
Rating 4/5 stars
Having been told I have anxiety disorder and learning that this equated to a fear of death, I jumped at the opportunity to read STARING AT THE SUN. This is my first book by Irvin D Yalom, and I was very impressed with the contents and writing style of a topic that can be pretty heavy duty. Yalom discusses anxiety and the fear of death by throwing in examples from the patients he's known, each of them having diverse symptoms and traits, but all of them having a fear of death. A lot of what he went over I already knew from therapy, and it was good to see it all in print. He also talks of methods to use to help overcome this fear, helping many of us to cope with daily anxiety and to learn to relax and live life as if THERE IS A TOMORROW.
Case studies include a woman who fears death by stating that she had so many things to do before she died. It's a classic case, in which I can relate to, where one cannot relax until one's ever growing to-do lists are completed. It's the unlived life that many fear, the fear of not accomplishing everything one had meant to do throughout a life time, but for some they feel this life may end too soon, thus the anxiety to finish things before it's too late.
Others begin to have anxiety after the death of someone close, possibly a husband or a close friend. Often times any life-changing event can set off anxiety. In each case, Yalom gives explicit details of a particular patient, using a very reader-friendly voice that most readers will feel comfortable with.
The only chapter that I felt was not as reader-friendly was the last, in which he warns the reader that this particular chapter is aimed at therapists.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Such an excellent read. Should be required for for anyone who won't die someday (that would mean all of us).Published 7 days ago by Michael R. Whitenton
A very worth while read on a subject you might not like to read about.Published 11 days ago by Mary L. Russell
I like to at least think the author wrote the book with his readers in mind; this one made me feel like I had better agree with what he had to say or else.Published 1 month ago by M. Monahan
I liked it very much
I think the book helps us yo get on with life and enjoy it while we can
This book is inspiring. Dr. Yalom in this book does a great job in helping people to turn the fear of death into a motivating factor for life.Published 1 month ago by Aaron W.C.
One of the best books I have read. Essentially, it helps you deal with issues you might have regarding death. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
Completely changed the way I view the world and how I will conduct therapy. Thank you for opening our eyes and helping us to look at the sun.Published 3 months ago by Beth Wecksell
I was hoping this book would help with the anxiety of death itself and instead he talks in great detail about uncovering death anxiety. Read morePublished 4 months ago by blink