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Start with NO...The Negotiating Tools that the Pros Don't Want You to Know Hardcover – July 15, 2002
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Think a win-win solution is the best way to make the deal? Think again.
For years now, win-win has been the paradigm for business negotiation. But today, win-win is just the seductive mantra used by the toughest negotiators to get the other side to compromise unnecessarily, early, and often. Win-win negotiations play to your emotions and take advantage of your instinct and desire to make the deal.
Start with No introduces a system of decision-based negotiation that teaches you how to understand and control these emotions. It teaches you how to ignore the siren call of the final result, which you can’t really control, and how to focus instead on the activities and behavior that you can and must control in order to successfully negotiate with the pros.
The best negotiators:
* aren’t interested in “yes”—they prefer “no”
* never, ever rush to close, but always let the other side feel comfortable and secure
* are never needy; they take advantage of the other party’s neediness
* create a “blank slate” to ensure they ask questions and listen to the answers, to make sure they have no assumptions and expectations
* always have a mission and purpose that guides their decisions
* don’t send so much as an e-mail without an agenda for what they want to accomplish
* know the four “budgets” for themselves and for the other side: time, energy, money, and emotion
* never waste time with people who don’t really make the decision
Start with No is full of dozens of business as well as personal stories illustrating each point of the system. It will change your life as a negotiator. If you put to good use the principles and practices revealed here, you will become an immeasurably better negotiator.
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.
- Publisher : Currency; 1st edition (July 15, 2002)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 288 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0609608002
- ISBN-13 : 978-0609608005
- Item Weight : 14.4 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.8 x 1 x 8.54 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #41,193 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
Top reviews from the United States
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I found it after listening to a bunch of interviews that the author gave before he passed on.
I'll have to say the world is poorer because Jim Camp is no longer with us, but much richer because of the legacy he left.
* Don't be needy.
* Don't be afraid of No. It is actually the best thing you can hear, because it marks the beginning (not the end) of the real negotiation.
* Have an agenda before you show up.
* It's not about you. It's about the vision you create in the mind of your counterpart. Forget yourself. Serve.
* Focus on your behavior. You cannot control the outcome.
* No expectations. No assumptions. No talking.
Get this book. Read it. Live it.
The overall take-away from the book is that a negotiator must not try to force his ideas on his adversary. Rather, he should make his adversary feel okay about himself by asking a lot of open-ended questions and then listening closely to the answers. On the one hand, a cynic might argue that you’re simply manipulating the feeling of the opponent to get him to open up. On the other hand, though, a close reading of the book shows that the skills of asking good questions and then listening to the answers are sorely missing in the world today. Friends, spouses, co-workers, everyone, in fact, should learn these ideas… not to win negotiations, but rather to become closer to those around them. A good negotiator gets emotionally close to his adversary by allowing him to feel comfortable in the conversation, not belittled, insulted, or stupid.
But it's really not a secret is it? It's how we should act at all times. Not just as negotiators (or salesmen) but as human beings!
This book has changed how I will do business from this day forward.
Negotiations are everything in LIFE! This is how to win when you engage in it.
Top reviews from other countries
The core message of this book is that emotional based ‘win-win’ style negotiations often result in one side losing out and a more structured and analytical approach negotiation is best.
I particularly enjoyed all the examples that illustrate how to use these tools. The author could have used even more examples as the book is only 259 pages long because I find the scripts from these real-world examples particularly useful.
This book is not a ‘one stop shop’ and I would recommend reading other books on negotiation like ‘Never split the difference’ and ‘Getting to Yes’ to accelerate your negotiation skills.
Reading negotiation books are a great use of your time and will repay the investment many times over if you take the time to digest the lessons and implement them in the real world.
Below is a list of things I will take away from this book.
• Taking a ‘win-win’ approach to negotiations is defeatist and too emotional based rather than analytical
• Don’t be needy (talking too much, blowing smoke, overhyping the deal or your adversary)
• You want it, you don’t need it
• Be ‘not-okay’ (the impression you give to others of your mental state)
• Let people help you, struggle just that little bit while being comfortable letting your adversary show off and run the show.
• It’s good to hear ‘no’ at the start of a negotiation as it sets some boundaries and hard decisions from which you can move forward
• ‘No’ gives an adversary the opportunity to always leave a negotiation which puts them at ease, ‘No’ also starts the journey of discovering what your adversary really wants
• Have a well-considered goal in your negotiation (your mission and purpose). If you don’t have one written down and rehearsed then you’ll be working towards your adversaries.
• Your mission and purpose must be set in your adversary’s world
• Questions are a great way of discovering information and nudging negotiations towards your goals.
• Verb-led question eliciting ‘yes’, ’no’ answers are of little value
• The best questions to ask are interrogative led and open ended as they encourage your adversary to tell us about their vision
• Confirm points 3 times (3+) before moving on
• Don’t talk too much
• Take lots of notes
• Research extensively before a negotiation
• The more you understand about your adversary’s ‘pain’ the better your decision making will be
• Always be nurturing your adversary, don’t make them angry or frightened
• The perceived value of a negotiation in your adversary’s mind increases as time, energy, money and emotion are invested
• Know your own budget and work hard to control your emotions relating to it.
• Have an agenda. Always
Cannot praise the practical insights enough.
Proper advice for all areas of life - not just business.
The book is excellent as I expected though some parts are hard to read. Nevertheless, a highly recommend book.