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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by [Esther Perel]
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The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity Kindle Edition

4.7 out of 5 stars 1,150 ratings

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Length: 336 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“[One of the] best books of 2017... In The State of Affairs, Perel explores a vast landscape of the adulterous terrain... in a way that’s deeply humane and never preachy.” (NPR’s Guide to 2017’s Greatest Reads)

“[Perel] deals with the mess and pain of fractured relationships with searing honesty, astute observations and compassion… If your marriage were in trouble, you’d want her help.” (Guardian (UK))

“As someone so completely plugged into the world of relationships, it makes sense that Perel would have some incredible insight into the most important one of all: the relationship we have with ourselves.” (Shondaland)

“She doesn’t peddle in bromides or offer a shoulder to cry on — she’s too busy trying to shake you to your senses, insisting on your agency, your vitality and your complicity in what happens in your marriage.“ (The New York Times)

“Esther Perel is one of the most influential and well-known psychotherapists in the world. Through TED Talks, best-selling books, a podcast (Where Should We Begin?), and her clinical practice in New York City, she explores the one subject she believes interests every human: relationships.” (The Cut, New York Magazine)

“Sexologist Perel, a marriage crisis ‘first responder,’ excavates the messy psychology of infidelity, digging into such charged topics as the ‘new shame’ of wives—staying with a cheater—and why even happy partners sometimes stray.” (O Magazine, 10 Books To Pick Up Now)

“In her opinion, confronting and unearthing the why behind an affair with honesty and courage, can steer a relationship back from brink—possibly towards a place of erotic rediscovery.” (Esquire)

“Relationship therapist Esther Perel is probably the world’s foremost authority on infidelity.” (GQ, UK)

“Esther Perel is America’s first clear-eyed public intellectual on love.” (Quartz)

“Esther Perel is widely recognized as the world’s leading expert on marriage.” (Sunday Times Style by The Times of London) --This text refers to the paperback edition.

From the Back Cover

An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book.

For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations.

--This text refers to the paperback edition.

Product details

  • ASIN : B01N5PY4ZN
  • Publisher : Harper; Reprint edition (October 10, 2017)
  • Publication date : October 10, 2017
  • Language: : English
  • File size : 1432 KB
  • Text-to-Speech : Enabled
  • Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
  • X-Ray : Enabled
  • Word Wise : Enabled
  • Print length : 336 pages
  • Lending : Not Enabled
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 out of 5 stars 1,150 ratings

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
1,150 global ratings
How are ratings calculated?

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2018
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201 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on October 22, 2017
118 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on April 17, 2018
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23 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Graham Mummery
5.0 out of 5 stars A state of relationships
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 10, 2018
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20 people found this helpful
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Dr. M. Willis
5.0 out of 5 stars ... spent 30 years as a GP listening to really nice people who had got themselves into a muddle
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 19, 2018
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15 people found this helpful
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M E Noble
5.0 out of 5 stars A fair discussion
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 5, 2018
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10 people found this helpful
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Mr. J J
5.0 out of 5 stars Must read for any couples, even if they didn't go through a infidelity its worth knowing.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 30, 2019
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2 people found this helpful
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nevena
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 27, 2018
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2 people found this helpful
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