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Staying Connected To Your Teenager: How To Keep Them Talking To You And How To Hear What They're Really Saying Paperback – April 15, 2003

by Michael Riera (Author)
4.5 out of 5 stars 80 ratings
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At last, a book of sage advice that will help frustrated parents reconnect with their teenager and keep that connection even in today's often-crazy world.The first step is simple: realizing that inside every teen resides two very different people-the regressed child and the emergent adult. The emergent adult is seen at school, on the playing field, in his first job, and in front of his friends' families. Unfortunately, his parents usually see only the regressed child-moody and defiant-and, if they're not on the lookout, they'll miss seeing the more agreeable, increasingly adult thinker in their midst.With ingenious strategies for coaxing the more attractive of the two teen personalities into the home, family psychologist Mike Riera gives new hope to beleaguered and harried parents. From moving from a "managing" to a "consulting" role in a teen's life, from working with a teen's uniquely exasperating sleep rhythms to having real conversations when only monosyllables have been previously possible, Staying Connected to Your Teenager demonstrates ways to bring out the best in a teen-and, consequently, in an entire family.
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  1. Print length
    224 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Balance
  4. Publication date
    April 15, 2003
  5. Dimensions
    5 x 1 x 8 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0738208450
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0738208459
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Bay Area Parent, 2/09
“Good advice for parents frustrated with trying to communicate with their teenagers.”

Westchester Family, January 2009
“Good advice for parents frustrated with trying to communicate with their teenagers.”

About the Author

Michael Riera, Ph.D., is one of the country's foremost authorities on understanding children and teenagers. Mike has written or cowritten five books related to teenagers and their parents. Currently, he is the head of the Brentwood School, an independent K-12 day school in Los Angeles.

Website: MikeRiera.com

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Balance; First Edition (April 15, 2003)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0738208450
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0738208459
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 12 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5 x 1 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 out of 5 stars 80 ratings

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Michael Riera

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
80 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book to be a great guide to understanding teenagers, with one customer noting it provides practical advice when opportunities arise. They appreciate its focus on teen bonding.

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24 customers mention "Information quality"24 positive0 negative

Customers find the book provides great guidance on understanding teenagers and insight into connecting with them, with one customer noting it offers practical advice when opportunities arise.

"...I have had a very satisfying relationship with them both in terms of communication and openness, which has enriched my life to no end, and I..." Read more

"...Dr. Riera has provided parents with valuable ways to build better communication relationships, in a non combative or judgmental way, even when..." Read more

"...that it teaches that you can "be the parent" yet have meaningful conversations with your kids...." Read more

"...I have found SO many useful pointers in this book! It doesn't state the same platitudes over and over about your teenager...." Read more

5 customers mention "Teen bonding"5 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's approach to teen bonding.

"...This book has helped me in SO many ways to stay connected with my teenage daughters! I now know when to shut up and when to give feedback...." Read more

"Staying connected to your Teenager..." Read more

"Connecting with your teenager..." Read more

"Staying Connected To Your Teenager..." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Everyman
    5.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable Insight
    Reviewed in the United States on December 4, 2007
    Verified Purchase
    This is by far the best book I have EVER read regarding my relationship with my two teenagers! One of the most revealing things to hit me was the concept of transitioning from a "Manager" to a "Consultant" in your relationship with your teen...how profoundly helpful.
    No other book has helped me on so many levels in my relations with my children. I am divorced father and have an ex who didn't care to co-parent because she was sure that she knew everything about raising kids that I didn't. That may have rung true to an extent until they became teenagers.
    As a result of putting into practice what I learned in this book, my son and daughter told me of their partying habits and that of their friends, in addition to other confidentialities. They confided in me that they told me things they wouldn't dare tell their mother. A couple of times they got drunk and called me because they knew that I would deal with them differently than their mother...all because of what I learned from this insightful book. I have had a very satisfying relationship with them both in terms of communication and openness, which has enriched my life to no end, and I believe theirs as well. My son called me from college one night several years later and thanked me for our relationship...which almost brought me to tears. We remain as close as we became when he was a teen. My teenage daughter and I have a great relationship as well. I have recommended this book to many of my friends who have teenagers. This should be REQUIRED reading for parents of teenagers! You really HAVE to read this book to effectively understand and be able to interact with your teen(s). I read this over several times and had sections marked as references to keep it fresh.
    115 people found this helpful
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  • NanaNeece
    5.0 out of 5 stars A valuable resource to help communicate better with your teenager(s).
    Reviewed in the United States on December 20, 2012
    Verified Purchase
    When children get into their teenage years, parents enter new territory in relating to and communicating with their children.. Trying to understand them can be difficult with their hormonal ups and downs and emotional insecurities. Their attitudes, behaviors, and treatment of family members at home sometimes seems opposite to the face they put on when with their friends. It takes lots of patience, and understanding to stay connected with your children when they go through the teenage phase of their lives. Dr. Riera has provided parents with valuable ways to build better communication relationships, in a non combative or judgmental way, even when parents and children don't see eye to eye on everything.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • P. H. Sydnor
    4.0 out of 5 stars Practical Tips
    Reviewed in the United States on February 23, 2010
    Verified Purchase
    I raised three kids and then re-married and am now helping to raise two more. This book brought back to memory several of the things I did right with my own kids and where I am now missing the boat with my bonus kids. I have not finished reading it but insisted that my spouse read it first. I like that it teaches that you can "be the parent" yet have meaningful conversations with your kids. The one draw back is that it is written for older teens that have more freedoms. However, if the foundation is in place at a younger age, it will continue through life.
    6 people found this helpful
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  • K. Berneti
    5.0 out of 5 stars Get This Book!!!
    Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2009
    Verified Purchase
    I cannot recommend this book highly enough! I have found SO many useful pointers in this book! It doesn't state the same platitudes over and over about your teenager. It gives you practical advice on when opportunities arise and how to read your teenager's moods. This book has helped me in SO many ways to stay connected with my teenage daughters! I now know when to shut up and when to give feedback. I know when to look for opportunities and when to not freak out because they're not opening up to me.
    11 people found this helpful
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  • S in Boulder
    3.0 out of 5 stars Ok
    Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Pretty obvious information, nothing earth shattering, yet good reminders in one place for when you need them.
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  • kenji
    5.0 out of 5 stars A must for parents of teenagers
    Reviewed in the United States on March 30, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    When I do not know what to tell my daughter, I retread this book. When I do not know if this or that behavior is the norm for the age, I retread this book. When I feel that I run out of ideas, I reread this book. It comes with a different perspective about the relationship parent- teenager than most books I read. In this book , controlling is not the point, but guiding, and knowing where you stand and what is the development phase of your kid. It makes me feeling that I have some degree of understanding and some choices as a parent.
    4 people found this helpful
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  • EO
    5.0 out of 5 stars Very "user friendly".
    Reviewed in the United States on May 18, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I hate books that talk above me in a preaching way, or are so technical it's more stress inducing than helpful to read. This book seems to speak to both Mom's and Dad's, and doesn't alienate the reader going off on the extreem teen behaviors. My husband and I both found this to be helpful in just making the day in and day out interaction with our son much easier. I have loaned this to 2 friends already, and they both ended up buying their own copy to have for brush up reading!
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Margaret
    4.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic book
    Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    This book has a lot of great insight about teenagers so parents will have a better perspective of what teenagers are going through. It has a lot of practical examples and addressing issues concerning both boys and girls. I would highly recommend this books for parents with teens and would give 5 stars for the book itself. However, the delivery of the book was beyond the promising period, may be it's due to the distance and the weather.
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Lelah Bruce
    5.0 out of 5 stars love it
    Reviewed in Canada on May 27, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    This book hits the right tone and is so relate toable. It really describes my teenager and helped me to understand her behavior.
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  • Maria
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 30, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    This book is highly recommended to anyone who has teenagers.
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