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Stiff Things: The Splatterporn Anthology Paperback – August 22, 2016
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Between the cover image and title you pretty much know what you’re going to get with Stiff Things: The Splatterp*rn Anthology. You don’t need me to define the term “splatterp*rn”, do you? Note that this is “the” splatterp*rn anthology rather than “a” splatterp*rn anthology, suggesting that this subgenre isn’t as widely represented as, say, vampire tales. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, because there are stories in here that describe some seriously disgusting acts.
Obviously, the point of splatterp**n is to elicit repugnance, and this anthology is wildly successful at that. Where else can you read about rape, genital mutilation, necrophilia, and the spraying of bodily fluids without being denounced as a social undesirable? Is that even possible anymore? The being socially undesirable thing, not the being denounced thing. In any event, let’s take an in-depth look at the stories you’ll find in Stiff Things:
There are no surprises in Brandon Ford’s Modern Celebrity, but there aren’t supposed to be, either; after all, it is the first tale in a splatterporn short story collection. You’ll find pints of pre-c**, silver dollar n***les, Snickers bars, and an “oh so hungry h*le” in an overlong narrative that has more than one cl*max. So to speak.
Suckers by Brian Rosenberger and Cori Vidae takes you down to Innsmouth for some hot Lovecraft action. Don’t worry: it doesn’t get too weird…which is a shame, really.
Olive Whittier’s One Ear, Always to the Land of the Dead makes an attempt at high fantasy, but lacks the lyricism necessary to pull it off. Still, you’ll find it memorable.
Godf***ed by Tanker Ray has tremendous descriptive power, an unusual theme, hysterical dialogue…and then just ends.
The Solution by Kristopher Triana starts with a high school handy and ends with…well, you’ll just have to read it to see. There’s a golden goose theme to the whole story (without the goose, thank God).
If westerns are your kink, you’ll dig Hunter’s Moon by S.C. Hayden. Two little lambs, indeed.
Male homosexual relationships are represented in Eric LaRocca’s If My Face Were Transparent, You’d See the Devil. Obsession, victimhood, and a grueling, horrific ending that you won’t forget. This is the story that makes you put down the book for a while and go outside to take a walk after reading.
Shequila Rayne’s Charlotte the Harlot plays a game of “What’s grosser than gross” against itself and wins. Yay.
Speaking of games, guess what Andrew Darlington’s The P*nis of the Marquis De Sade is about. Well, it’s about as humorous as you might expect, with a fun story and an entertaining sad-sack protagonist.
The Extra Mile by Paul Allih ends the anthology with a specific perversion that gets taken to an explosive, if disgusting conclusion.
If you find Stiff Things to be a turn-on, more power to you: we’re not judging here, and you can read this entire book without shame (you sick, sick maniac). I don’t think that’s the intent, however. Stiff Things is looking to touch you in a specific place, and with ten stories to choose from, it’ll no doubt trip your trigger in some way or other. Just clean yourself up afterwards.
(Review originally posted at The Slaughtered Bird.)
I read VILE & SICK THiNGS some years ago (my paperbacks were lost in an unfortunate conflagration involving an ex-lover, a pimp and a priest) and remember them vividly in my besotted memory and I will reread those bad boys soon but the STIFF THINGS book in this trilogy of sorts was all new to me, so keep that in mind, dead readers, er dear readers. What we have here is a compendium (if that's the right word) of extreme sick vile & very STIFF bunch of tale to curl your toes, moisten unmentionable parts and give you a queasy feeling where you might not want it. In other words, this box set is all it's CRACKED up to be. There's not a bad story in the bunch except that they're all BAD in the best way. Be warned, this is not for the casual reader or panties-in-a-twist reader but for the folks who actually understand and love hardcore sh*t, this is the wet stuff you get off on. The contributors ain't big-name dudes but they gots de chops to stand your hairs on end and test your gag reflex.
No need to go into detail on the individual tales (don't you hate when they tell you too much), suffice it to say that this is crap you waon't read anywhere else but Comet Press (thier slogan being "Home Is Where The Hard Is"). [Barkeep! Another shot!] But all kidding aside, this is a good splatterporn read and if you don't have any blooming idea what what splatteporn is, then you probably don't want to subject your tender mind to this sort of stuff but for all you other sickies, this is don't one you want o pass up. And you will get some on you!
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this Anthology. Like I said in the beginning, no story fell short for me. Everyone brought an erotic taste that stimulated every sense of my being. I highly recommend this book who love some deranged erotic horror.
I'm spent, I need a cigarette