on October 30, 2008
The existential philosophy exhorts us that the responsibility to find meaning in our lives rests with each one of us. Religion asserts that God helps those who help themselves. Unfortunately, beyond vague references to "free will" and "freedom of choice", neither specifically explains how to find our life's meaning or how to help ourselves. This philosophical mystery, thus, left us floundering in the Emersonian void of lives of quiet desperation - until now. Now, Elfreda Pretorius' book, Stop Struggling and Start Living: The Rules of the Game finally comes to us as a thinking person's Field Manual to life and living. This remarkable book is like a pair of corrective lenses for our blurry spiritual vision. It takes life's incredible complexities and questions and distils the answers into a sharply focused, practical, step-by-step guide to discover our ultimate purpose, to find an end to our struggle, and finally create an elegant life-by-design.
Elfreda's book is a deceptive paradox. It is not a spiritual, religious, or a metaphysical treatise per-se, yet, it blends the highest ideals of all three. It is an easy, user-friendly read, and yet, it embodies the most profound life altering truths within a poignant allegory. If you are looking for recycled, hackneyed, simplistic self-help solutions like repeating affirmations to attract wealth and the relationship of your dreams, then pass on this book. But, if you have the discipline, commitment, and an abiding curiosity to discover and understand once and for all the principles to elevate your life from a discouraging test of endurance to a life by choice, then, do what I did. Buy three copies of Stop Struggling and Start Living and three highlighters. Then, keep one set on your night stand, one in your car, and another at your office. If you are at a red light or in a traffic jam, or if the stress of the day bears down on you at work, or you just needs a pick-me-up, especially at 3:00 a.m., turn to any page in the book and like a GPS let Sam and Aaron talk you back on track.
As a psychologist and out of personal curiosity, I read many books on psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and meta-physics. Except for Stop Struggling and Start Living, most of those books are now moved back to the shelves. If you are truly interested in knowing about spirituality, peace, purpose, faith, freedom from struggle, and co-creating, you need only read Stop Struggling and Start Living and apply the wisdom within. If you are ambivalent about buying this book - buy it. I am confident you won't regret it. I feel an immense admiration for Elfreda's wisdom and talent and gratitude for the gift of her book. One of her most profound statements in the book is, "I hope you choose happiness, for it cannot choose you". Read this book, it will walk you all the way through.
Dr. James J. Kaikobad
on September 7, 2008
Now is the time to take the time to read a book that will give you some answers that will help you to stop whining and struggling and start winning big time! As an expert Whine Tester and Whine-ologist, I'm here to tell you that you can find some answers in this amazing book. Finally you can discover some of the rules of the game that others know but haven't shared. Now Elfreda has unlocked the door and you can enter into the wonderful world of winners. Thou Shalt Not Whine: The Eleventh Commandment: What We Whine About, Why We Do It and How to Stop
on April 21, 2009
Even though I have been a motivational speaker for nearly 40 years and am the author of my own motivational tome, Elfreda Pretorius' book, Stop Struggling and Start Living: The Rules of the Game, is something I needed to read to remind me of so much of what I have forgotten through the years about the principles that are so valuable to everyday existence.
Written in an allegorical style, this book is far from being just passive reading, but an interactive experience on paper. You will find yourself stopping frequently in the middle of a page, or even a paragraph, to absorb what has been said, and if you put the book down and walk away from it for a couple of days, you'll find yourself drifting back to what you read, like hitting the rewind button to see a scene over again on a DVD. But the paradox is you don't want to put the book down and walk away from it because you will find you are so engaged in it, you want to keep reading, taking yourself to the next level, just as you get engrossed playing an electronic game and want to get to the next level in it to find out what happens, and whether you are up for the challenge.
A small warning for sensitive readers: there is some adult language content in the text, so if you are easily offended by such you may want to reconsider reading it, but just remember this: you'll be sorry you missed one of the best inspirational books on the market today.
I am not the type of person who is easily impressed. But I am impressed by what this best seller has to say, and I truly believe you will to. The book is not expensive, but whatever price you pay, consider it a wise investment in your future. Your life depends on it.
Ric Morgan, businessman, professional speaker and the author of the Pulitzer-nominated book, The Keys: The Textbook to a Successful Life ([...]
on November 22, 2013
An extraordinary book like "Stop Struggling and Start Living: The Rules of the Game" comes along once in a lifetime.
This book is nothing short of a miracle! You will find it super inspirational and incredibly engaging!
If you're ready to get your stick on the ice then this is the book for you. Elfreda's no-nonsense approach, coupled with
her incredible wisdom is sure to delight you. I have read hundreds of books on self-help, healing, psychology, science, religion
and spirituality and I was blown away at how Elfreda managed to so brilliantly capture the true essence of many of the Universal
Laws and present them in such a practical and entertaining way. IT'S TRULY A JUICY BOOK!!!
In today's world, where so many are lost and disconnected, a book like this is guaranteed to align you with the TRUTH and teach you
how to stand in your power - that is if you're willing to do the work. Sooner or later we will all come to realize that salvation is an inside job.
Elfreda's book will be there for you (on the journey of self-discovery) every step of the way. Take the plunge an never look back!
on November 8, 2008
"Stop Struggling and Start Living" will resonate with every word you've ever read about improving your life, and it will take you that critical step forward that you've been seeking forever. Elfreda Pretorius has obviously distilled a lifetime of learning into this gem of a book. Through a story that asks and answers all the questions you have about how this "thinking thing" really works, you'll discover all the guidance you'll ever need about how to live a better life.
I love the author's no-nonsense style as well as her ability to ask the hard questions that we all harbor--and answer them as well. The dialogue that the story presents is filled with dramatic pauses that allow you to rethink what you have just read. Just when you are beginning to question a premise, both the exactly right example and the way to apply it suddenly appear. The book is a masterful example of teaching as it brings you a wonderful balance of lessons and descriptions, digressions and new perspectives, as well as the reinforcement to tie ideas together and grasp the "big picture."
Deceptively simple, "Stop Struggling and Start Living" is brilliantly constructed to draw you in and to show you how to use its concepts in your own life. Beautifully done, strongly stated, and especially, focused and clear! Let this be your guidebook to changing those old habits that keep us lost in the mentality of the tribe. With its dramatic power, this story is our golden key to our own freedom.
on June 14, 2016
Pretorius is genius! One has to wonder, how does a single person become smart enough, thoughtful enough, reflective enough, to develop rules on how to live your life? We buy many self-help books, but you've never come across one like this. Learn the rules of the game, and start living!
on June 11, 2011
I have just accompanied a conversation and a transformation on top of a mountain. In Stop Struggling and Start Living, Elfreda takes the reader on a unique journey of self-discovery. In following Sam through his internal turmoil, where his life was just falling apart on all sides, we are presented with a clear picture of how we get ourselves into similar situations. This book gives us the roadmap to turn these situations around. Elfreda not only makes it inerrantly clear how we created our own mess but in the same terms makes it just as clear that we can create the desired solution. The rules of the game of life are clearly mapped out in the conversation which Sam has on the mountain. The reader is the silent observer listening as the truth is unfolded and watching as Sam starts to get it. This book can easliy become a common handbook for those seeking answers and practical solutions to today's problems.
on July 7, 2016
WOW!!! If I had to choose one book for everyone to read, this would be it. It has completely opened my eyes to the real problems we each have and how to tackle each one. Buy a copy of this book for everyone you know so they can all stop struggling and start living. I did and I am!!
on April 2, 2009
We first met Elfreda when she interviewed us on her show, "Game Changer." THANK GOODNESS we did NOT read "Stop Struggling and Start Living: The Rules of the Game" prior to our interview, otherwise we would have been so intimidated by her genius, intelligence, and wit, as demonstrated in this book, which we read in three sittings. We especially enjoy her references to "sheeple" and love the concept of being "Reason Able!" Many of the Rules simply resonate and if there ever is an accurate definition of a "Game Changer," it suits Ms. Pretorius to a T. The day after we finished this book, we immediately gifted a copy to youth in jail because we believe it will alter the course of their life forever. We know it has changed us, because now, whenever we feel like "judging someone," we remember the Rule: eventually all rivers flow into the ocean, so, everyone will reach their level of enlightenment when the time is right, and it is not up to us to decide when that is, for them. It is actually quite liberating to realize that we are not responsible for "saving" others, everyone is responsible for their own "salvation." We are both honored and humbled to know Elfreda.
Actress, Philanthropist, and Founder of
Eternal Youth Empire
on August 30, 2011
I am on my fourth reading of this book. In each season of my life, I find new meaning each time I read it. This book has made sense of my first 76 years. It has given me loving guidance for my next 76 years. Now that I know the difference between just existing and living, look out world! Thank you, Elfreda.