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Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum: Let's Relate! 1st Edition

4.9 out of 5 stars 18 customer reviews
ISBN-13: 978-1849058568
ISBN-10: 1849058563
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Editorial Reviews

Review

This is one book I shall be highly recommending and one that I shall be dipping into regularly for its wisdom and truth. Coping with autism is often likened to a roller coaster ride. Let's Relate provides a model communication highway on which to travel the autism journey and as the mother of a son with ASD, I can certainly relate to that.A" --K.I. Al-Ghani, special educational needs teacher and author of Learning About Friendship and From Home to School with Autism, UK, and The Red Beast.

Review

...easily one of the most useful things I have read this year... Having read it once, I felt I needed to revisit this book in its entirety with a pen and paper to hand. I would highly recommend it to anyone working or living with children on the Autism Spectrum. (Naplic Matters)

I found it a hug change to read a book written by someone who saw all of autism's challenges as just that - challenges. He goes on to explain all the solutions he's discovered, many of which I've found useful, and his enthusiasm for helping people is infectious.

However, he never stops being pragmatic: This is a book for real people dealing with real problems... I recommend this book to everyone.

(Asperger United)

King's explanations are clear and he uses examples from his family and clinical experience to help illustrate and clarify his strategies as well as to enliven the text... This book is of value to anyone working and living with people on the spectrum or for neurotpicals and aspies wishing to become clearer communicators and work together so that everyone in a relationship feels their needs are getting met. (asteens)

I really like the idea of negotiation and asking for clarification in solving problems in social communication. When I was a child and I made social mistakes, mother quietly told me what I was doing wrong so I could correct. When I work with clients, I ask lots of questions so that I know exactly what the client expects from the completed design project. This insightful book will help many individuals to have better social relationships. (Temple Grandin, author of Thinking in Pictures and The Way I See It, US)

Brian R. King brings to his book the multiple perspectives of father, health professional, and Aspie himself. Even if you thought you understood the problems your kids are facing, Brian can give you insights that never occurred to you... Brian's book presents a wealth of ideas and strategies for communicating and relating in a new way with the spectrumites in your life. Throw out the star charts and the social scripts. Those never worked, and never will. Bring in the strategies. They do work. I can vouch for them, because I am now using them with my own family, and the results have been positive and immediate... Brian's book will help you understand your loved ones as never before. And I predict you'll understand yourself a lot better, too. (Joan Matthews, mother of James Williams, a young adult on the spectrum, US)

[...] Brian R. King delivers an engaging and perhaps complete guide into the mind of folks like us. King is a fellow spectrumite, and fellow spectrumite parent of spectrum kids; but it is his vocation as a social worker and counselor that wraps King's content into a wonderful addition to the growing library of great books about the entire autism spectrum. (Michael John Carley, Executive Director, GRASP; Executive Director, ASTEP; and author of Asperger's from the Inside Out, US)

In this insightful and easy to read book, Brian R. King explains what it feels like to have autism, providing us with the means to a deeper understanding of those on the spectrum. [...] Brian offers tips and strategies in order to best assist a child with autism become his or her own person, respecting differences and building on strengths. All parents want their children to have meaningful relationships, and in [this book] Brian shares his expert advice in this domain. Brian's perspective is unique and well-informed: he is on the spectrum, is married to a person on the spectrum, is the father of three boys on the spectrum, and is an experienced social worker. We have much to learn from him. (Chantal Sicile-Kira, author of Autism Life Skills, Adolescents on the Autism Spectrum, Autism Spectrum Disorders, and 41 Things to Know About Autism, US)

Brian R. King's Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum is an indispensable contribution to the field of 'inside-out' books written by autism spectrum self-advocates. What could be more valuable to parents, family, and friends than understanding the emotional importance of relationships when viewed through the autism prism? (William Stillman, author of Autism and the God Connection and Empowered Autism Parenting, US)

Mr. King has created a conversation between people on the spectrum, their families and advocates with clarity, depth, wisdom and insight. His advice is both profound and infinitely practical. You'll want to keep this book handy and refer to it again and again. (Rudy Simone, author of Aspergirls, 22 Things a Woman Must Know and Asperger's on the Job, US)

“This is one book I shall be highly recommending and one that I shall be dipping into regularly for its wisdom and truth. Coping with autism is often likened to a roller coaster ride. Strategies for Building Successful Relationships with People on the Autism Spectrum provides a model communication highway on which to travel the autism journey and as the mother of a son with ASD, I can certainly relate to that.” (K.I. Al-Ghani, special educational needs teacher and author of Learning About Friendship and From Home to School with Autism, UK)

King's explanations are clear and he uses examples from his family and clinical experience to help illustrate and clarify his strategies as well as to enliven the text... very informative... This book is of value to anyone working and living with people on the spectrum or for neurotpicals and aspies wishing to become clearer communicators and work together so that everyone in a relationship feels their needs are getting met. (BFK Books)
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers; 1 edition (November 15, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1849058563
  • ISBN-13: 978-1849058568
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,364,152 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book will completely change your life and your kid's life. I am an adult with Asperger's. I was undiagnosed until the age of 22. I have spent years trying to build successful relationships with peers. I never quite got it. What is worse. Whenever someone tried to help they weren't really helping at all. Because they didn't understand how I thought. It's next to impossible to help someone if you do not connect with them or understand how their brain processes thoughts.

I went to too many support groups where the attitude was just so negative. I've seen too many people trying to teach social skills to kids by role playing or creating a mock situation. What they fail to realize is that social settings are almost never in a controlled environment. I felt for the longest time that anyone giving their kid social skills training was doing their child a dis service. It's not their fault though. They don't know any better and they think they're helping their kids.

Brian talks about many things in this book that will change your life or your child's life. First and for most. Anyone must learn how to have a successful relationship with themselves before they can begin to have a successful relationship with anyone else. Brian also talks about how kids grow up afraid and scared of doing something wrong or being told no because we always hear that and are constantly nagged for doing something wrong or being lazy.

I am looking forward to working with Brian on a one on one basis to develop more successful relationships in my life. I don't just recommend this book for people with autism or for people wanting to help someone with autism or asperger's syndrome. I recommend this book for all. Neurotypical included. Like Brian says we need to do away with the idea of aspie vs. neurotypical and think of us all as human beings. This book will be helpful to many many people around the world.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am a 48-year-old autistic woman and I got this book to help me understand relationships better and have a better connection with my (not autistic) boyfriend. I thought I should highlight the really great parts that I wanted to share with him and as a result, I highlighted about a third of the entire book. It really is that good.

It's written from the perspective of helping parents with their children, but everything in it applies to adults as well. Some of King's examples involve his children but some involve him and his own experiences (he is an autistic man (and a professional social worker) with three autistic children), so you can very easily see the principles extrapolated to an adult in those cases.

The book focuses on strategies for working around the things we are not good at. He talks about how most social skills training is trying to teach us how to read body language but that is about as useful as trying to teach a colorblind person how to see green or red. It's a waste of everyone's time because we are not neurologically wired to even see body language, let alone interpret it.

Instead, he gives strategies. For example, you can get through a stressful social event with "touch and go." Say you are at a wedding. You didn't want to go, but you knew your friend or family member would be really hurt if you didn't. The reception is crowded and noisy and hard to handle. So you touch base with important people (touch) and then go outside to look at the birds or go to a lounge where no one else is or wherever you need to go to chill (go.) Then you come back to the reception, mingle with the people who care about you being there, touch base some more, then go away for a while.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am beyond thrilled to have had the opportunity to read this book and learn from Brian King. Every person that cares for or works with individuals on the spectrum would benefit a GREAT deal from this book. Drawing from his own experience on the spectrum, the author offers a perspective that is a RARE find. The understanding that is obtained from seeing the world from that of a child on the spectrum is so profound. The author also provides very tangible solutions to both parenting conflicts and school misconceptions. I will, without a doubt, refer to this book often as I move forward in my clinical practice with children and families. I highly recommend this book without reserve!
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Format: Paperback
I have read other books with people giving their perspective of living with autism personally or having a child with autism. There are also some great books out there from experts giving advice. This book is the best of both worlds. It describes the world as one with autism might see it or allows one to open their mind to a different experience but also gives practical, useable advice and strategies that one can use to bring the two worlds together. I highly recommend this book, especially to anyone with has gotten frustrated when given nothing but an autism diagnosis and symptoms.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Brian King is amazing. Hands down - everything I read from him, every seminar I watch of his blows me away. From his life story, to his unique perspective into the minds of children with autism, this book is priceless for not only parents of kids on the spectrum but for ALL PARENTS!!! Like I said, I have seen Brian King speak at conferences and have sent friends to his website who are having behavioral issues with their "typical" children to see the strategies he uses in parenting. They are for anyone who wants a peaceful, respectful and understanding relationship with their children (yes - they work, even with those on the spectrum!!) Every parent should be required to read Brian's books. He parents, and gives advice on parenting in the most effective manner I have ever heard, seen or read. This man has a gift. You will not be disappointed in this book (and I cannot believe how inexpensive it is)!

There is no where else to get this kind of insight into why your child on the spectrum is stimming, crashing, crying, has certain sensory issues, doesn't make eye contact, etc. I can't tell you how many times reading this book I said "Oh..so that is why (my son) does that. That makes total sense now." Brian King has lived his life on the spectrum - he has been through it all - and now we get to benefit from all of that insiders knowledge of the spectrum world.

He also gives great advice on how to handle the public school system with your child. What accommodations are a must and which need to be avoided at all costs. Again you are going to read these and say "He is so right, why did I not realize this or that does not work for a kid on the spectrum?!"

My husband thinks Brian King is amazing too, and he just asked me if I was finally done with this book so he could read it now.
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