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The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Hardcover – September 13, 2016
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“Mark’s ability to dig deep and offer amazing, yet counter-intuitive, insight into the challenges of life makes him one of my favorite writers, and this book is his best work yet.” (Matt Kepnes, New York Times bestselling author of Travel the World on $50 a Day: Travel Cheaper, Longer, Smarter)
“This book hits you like a much-needed slap in the face from your best friend: hilarious, vulgar, and immensely thought-provoking. Only read if you’re willing to set aside all excuses and take an active role in living a f***ing better life.” (Steve Kamb, bestselling author of Level Up Your Life and founder of NerdFitness.com)
“The opposite of every other book. Don’t try. Give up. Be wrong. Lower your standards. Stop believing in yourself. Follow the pain. Each point is profoundly true, useful, and more powerful than the usual positivity. Succinct but surprisingly deep, I read it in one night.” (Derek Sivers, Founder of CD Baby and author of Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur)
“An in-your-face guide to living with integrity and finding happiness in sometimes-painful places… This book, full of counterintuitive suggestions that often make great sense, is a pleasure to read and worthy of rereading. A good yardstick by which self-improvement books should be measured.” (Kirkus Reviews)
From the Back Cover
Over 6 million copies sold
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger shows us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be "positive" all the time and instead to become better at handling adversity.
For decades we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life.
But those days are over. "F*ck positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let's be honest; sometimes things are f*cked up and we have to live with it." For the past few years, Manson--via his wildly popular blog--has been working on correcting our delusional expectations for ourselves and for the world. He now brings his hard-fought wisdom to this groundbreaking book.
Manson makes the argument--backed by both academic research and well-timed poop jokes--that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to better stomach lemons. Human beings are flawed and limited--as he writes, "Not everybody can be extraordinary--there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. This, he says, is the real source of empowerment. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties--once we stop running from and avoiding, and start confronting painful truths--we can begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek.
"In life, we have a limited amount of f*cks to give. So you must choose your f*cks wisely." Manson brings a much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor. This manifesto is a refreshing slap in the face for all of us so that we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives.
- Item Weight : 6.8 ounces
- Hardcover : 224 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0062457713
- ISBN-13 : 978-0062457714
- Publisher : Harper; 2nd Edition (September 13, 2016)
- Dimensions : 20.95 x 13.97 x 2.06 inches
- Language: : English
- Best Sellers Rank: #284 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Top reviews from the United States
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That’s kinda how this book made me feel. The clever title, like the low lights in a bar, masks the fact that this book offers no real substance while the author simply brags about his good fortune in life. A few chapters in, “the lights come on” and you just feel kinda icky.
I’m upset this p.o.s. Got any of my money.
I have to think that his "wildly popular" blog is followed primarily by readers much younger than Mr. Manson. When his followers mature, I think the writer would be well-suited for a job in search engine optimization. He has figured out that the most commonly searched word is f *ck.
Unfortunately, I bought a hard copy of the book -- will likely just throw in the trash.
Here are the parts that stick out to me in particular:
1. The writing isn't that great. He drops the f-bomb here and there for emphasis which is attention getting. But if you're adding the f-bomb to writing that is not well developed...well you're just emphasizing poor writing. Personally, I'm not a prude and have no issues with the word. I just didn't think it was effective in this case.
2. This book is not inspirational and there is nothing profound in here that most people don't already learn on their own from life itself when transitioning from late teen years to early adulthood. Waste of time.
3. There are many claims about what psychologists and other experts believe. A lot of "Research shows..." but there are no citations! Ummm, what? How do we know what Mark summarizes is indeed what research shows. Where is the foundation on which the proof points of this book is written?
"Sometime in the 1960s, developing "high self-esteem"-having positive thoughts and feelings about oneself-became all the rage in psychology. Research found that people who thought highly about themselves generally performed better and cause d fewer problems...Grade inflation, for example, was implemented to make low achieving kids feel better...Pastors and minsters told their congregations that they were each uniquely special in God's eyes...Businesses and motivational seminars cropped up chanting the same paradoxical mantra: every single one uf us can be exceptional and massively successful." Really? How about an example or citation of where this was pulled together.
"Numerous professors and educators have noted a lack of emotional resilience and and excess of selfish demands in today's young people...Speakers and professors are shouted down and banned from campuses for infractions as simple as suggesting that maybe some Halloween costumes really aren't that offensive. Schools counselors note that more students than ever are exhibiting severe signs of emotional distress..." Ok. Who? Where? What? When and where are these things happening? Where are the studies, examples, news references? Where is this guy pulling all of this from? My goodness a 5th grader could write a more complete current event report than the content of this entire book! The acknowledgements state "To Michael Covell for being my intellectual stress test, especially when it comes to understanding psychological research, and for always challenging me on my assumptions." Well good job for trying Michael!
"Brilliant business people are often f*ckups in their personal lives. Extraordinary athletes are often shallow and dumb as a lobotomized rock. Many celebrities are probably just as clueless about life as the people who gawk at them and follow their every more." WOW! Stereotype much?
Top reviews from other countries
I have to admit, I wasn't convinced (ignorant, you could say) of all these self-help books people lavish over, I honestly thought it was a load of hippy crap as a means to make a quick buck... Although after a bout of depression last year (yea the "D" word get's thrown around alot these days), I myself was seeking out therapy. I was recommended this author and discovered this book. After asking myself "If this doesn't work, I'll just try something else" I figured I had nothing to lose.
And WOW. This book really changed my perspective on things and ultimately I feel much better and improved! Not 100%, but I'm getting there slowly.
As you could tell from the title, the author isn't shy of using profanity, and I like this. I've read other self-help books and while they're good and all, Mark Manson really engages you on a personal level. Imagine going to the doctor, and he's been all professional... but a tad boring and nearly sends you to sleep. Now imagine the same doctor taking you to the bar, having a pint and a laugh, but telling you the same advice. Who would you connect with better? Yea, I thought so.
Controversial title aside, the book isn't about just not giving a damn, but about focusing WHAT to not give a damn about. Stop getting stressed about by what the media (and others) want us to be, not getting worked up by social media, stuff like that. Instead, focus the damns on the important stuff: family, friends, your well being.
The book does take a while to pick up, with the early chapters focusing on examples of people who you may or may not relate to, or even care about. It can start to drag on, but eventually, Mr. Manson really dives into the meat of the book, and asks yourself to challenge your beliefs. Knowing that you're not always right all the time. Not denying your own flaws by redirecting the blame onto other people when challenged (many people are guilty of this). Acknowledging you're not perfect and rolling with it. Realising your emotions and problems aren't exclusive: nearly everyone in the world will have experienced what you felt at some point in their lives.
Real stuff that actually helps you come to terms with yourself and not inflating your ego, or doing some tantric yoga exercises to unlock your inner chi circles. Real stuff.
I consider this book my bible: I read certain parts every now and then to maintain my self improvement, it gives me solace during times where I'm feeling down, and I harrass my Instagram followers by posting snippets of the pages. I've even brought several copies for friends who were going through a rough time.
TLDR: this book helped me out, connects with you on an unconventional level, and ultimately offers brilliant advice that helps improve yourself and hopefully others around you. Highly recommended!
PS. It's a MASSIVE shame that certain individuals refuse to fully read the book due to liberal use of the F word. I'd say that's the whole point: letting go of your "I'm entitled so I'm offended" beliefs and challenging yourself to overcome this personal stigma to improve your outlook on life.