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Mark Manson

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Hardcover – September 13, 2016

by Mark Manson (Author)

56,140 ratings

Part of: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (2 books)

#12 this week

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#1 New York Times Bestseller

Over 6 million copies sold

In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.

For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected modern society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.

Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.

There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Print length

224 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Harper
Publication date

September 13, 2016
Dimensions

20.95 x 13.97 x 2.06 inches
ISBN-10

0062457713
ISBN-13

978-0062457714
See all details

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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Resilience, happiness and freedom come from knowing what to care about--and most importantly, what not to care about. This is a masterful, philosophical and practical book that will give readers the wisdom to be able to do just that.” -- Ryan Holiday, New York Times bestselling author of The Obstacle is the Way and Ego is the Enemy

“Mark’s ability to dig deep and offer amazing, yet counter-intuitive, insight into the challenges of life makes him one of my favorite writers, and this book is his best work yet.” -- Matt Kepnes, New York Times bestselling author of Travel the World on $50 a Day: Travel Cheaper, Longer, Smarter

“This book hits you like a much-needed slap in the face from your best friend: hilarious, vulgar, and immensely thought-provoking. Only read if you’re willing to set aside all excuses and take an active role in living a f***ing better life.” -- Steve Kamb, bestselling author of Level Up Your Life and founder of NerdFitness.com

“The opposite of every other book. Don’t try. Give up. Be wrong. Lower your standards. Stop believing in yourself. Follow the pain. Each point is profoundly true, useful, and more powerful than the usual positivity. Succinct but surprisingly deep, I read it in one night.” -- Derek Sivers, Founder of CD Baby and author of Anything You Want: 40 Lessons for a New Kind of Entrepreneur

“An in-your-face guide to living with integrity and finding happiness in sometimes-painful places… This book, full of counterintuitive suggestions that often make great sense, is a pleasure to read and worthy of rereading. A good yardstick by which self-improvement books should be measured.” -- Kirkus Reviews

From the Back Cover

New York Times Bestseller
Over 6 million copies sold
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger shows us that the key to being happier is to stop trying to be "positive" all the time and instead to become better at handling adversity.
For decades we've been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life.
But those days are over. "F*ck positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let's be honest; sometimes things are f*cked up and we have to live with it." For the past few years, Manson--via his wildly popular blog--has been working on correcting our delusional expectations for ourselves and for the world. He now brings his hard-fought wisdom to this groundbreaking book.
Manson makes the argument--backed by both academic research and well-timed poop jokes--that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to better stomach lemons. Human beings are flawed and limited--as he writes, "Not everybody can be extraordinary--there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. This, he says, is the real source of empowerment. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties--once we stop running from and avoiding, and start confronting painful truths--we can begin to find the courage and confidence we desperately seek.
"In life, we have a limited amount of f*cks to give. So you must choose your f*cks wisely." Manson brings a much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor. This manifesto is a refreshing slap in the face for all of us so that we can start to lead more contented, grounded lives.

Start reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck on your Kindle in under a minute.

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Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Harper; 2nd Edition (September 13, 2016)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 224 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0062457713
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0062457714
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 6.8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 20.95 x 13.97 x 2.06 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #60 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #3 in Happiness Self-Help
- #7 in Success Self-Help
- #12 in Motivational Self-Help (Books)

Customer Reviews:
56,140 ratings

Customer reviews

5 star		79%
4 star		11%
3 star		5%
2 star		2%
1 star		2%

How are ratings calculated?

Top reviews from the United States

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Bobak Shafiei

Scumbag

Reviewed in the United States on November 22, 2018

Verified Purchase

Do you know that feeling you get when it’s last call at the club, the lights come on and you get a chance to *really* look at that person you were dancing with and it’s not a pleasant sight and you want to get away as soon as possible?

That’s kinda how this book made me feel. The clever title, like the low lights in a bar, masks the fact that this book offers no real substance while the author simply brags about his good fortune in life. A few chapters in, “the lights come on” and you just feel kinda icky.

I’m upset this p.o.s. Got any of my money.

2,360 people found this helpful

Helpful

vvwwvv

Written by a millenial, for millenials.

Reviewed in the United States on September 5, 2018

Verified Purchase

A great read. A very entertaining romp through philosophical thought by a skilled wordsmith, but I would say the age cut-off for this book is 50. Beyond 50, you've probably already learned most of the lessons in this book the hard way, however, I can see where it can be extremely helpful for a generation that spends most of its waking hours posting narcissistic selfies on their iphones. Manson gives you the blueprints to get your head out of your ass, (or out of your phone) take a hard look at yourself and the real world around you, and shed many of the illusions you've been slowly poisoning your life with. If you're a millennial, or even a disenchanted X-gen, pick up this book. It will give you at least a more healthy point of view. But, if you're over 50, you're not going to find anything new in here except entertainment.

1,695 people found this helpful

Helpful

Michael Hussle

A drunk guy at a bar giving his version of buddhism.

Reviewed in the United States on October 25, 2018

Verified Purchase

Save yourself some money and time. The only valuable lesson in this book is figure out the things that really matter, and not waste your time/energy getting upset about things that don't. There, done. Now you don't have to listen to a drunk dude rant about his explanation of buddhism and why he's so awesome.

1,604 people found this helpful

Helpful

Kevin T, Maui

Immature and self-aggrandizing. Writer should read "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman,

Reviewed in the United States on February 6, 2018

Verified Purchase

I've read quite a few "self-help" books in the last 30 or so years, always curious to see what the writers have to contribute. I went in with an open mind, but could barely finish this book. While there were some good points made early on (such as, we should concentrate on things that matter, like family and friends), there was little substance in about 150 pages of this 200 page book. Mr. Manson describes in detail the thoughts of several deceased persons, from Beatles drummer Pete Best to a WWII Japanese soldier, but does not reference the sources of his information. He theorizes that many of women's accusations of sexual misconduct by men are "false memories" and that men have been harmed in the process without recognizing the impact of this very real phenomenon of sexual misconduct on our culture. Regarding his account of how sometimes his wife "doesn't look great", and he suggests she change her clothes/hairstyle....just, wow. We'll see how that works out when she attains some confidence.
I have to think that his "wildly popular" blog is followed primarily by readers much younger than Mr. Manson. When his followers mature, I think the writer would be well-suited for a job in search engine optimization. He has figured out that the most commonly searched word is f *ck.
Unfortunately, I bought a hard copy of the book -- will likely just throw in the trash.

2,740 people found this helpful

Helpful

Kindle Customer

Disappointment Panda Here

Reviewed in the United States on September 2, 2018

Verified Purchase

I've never been more disappointed by a book. The constant generalizations. The pretentious tone of it all. The lack of any substance. Heres a synopsis, privileged guy uses his atypical life experience to tell you to care less about certain things and care more about other things you already know you should care about. Don't waste your time or money.

1,089 people found this helpful

Helpful

Candace

Pure fad! Poor unsubstantiated writing based on one person's life experience turned cure-all advice for others.

Reviewed in the United States on June 30, 2018

Verified Purchase

Sorry, not sorry, but not a fan. This book is pretty much written by a person who had crisis in their life (as many do) and wrote a whole book of life-advice based on their single experience. This book seems to be heavily influenced by taking what Mark learned from his therapist, based on his personal issues, and transforming that into a set of principles that will somehow act as a cure-all for everyone else's situations...with the word "F*CK added to be cool. This is pretty much a fad that will eventually fade away. Definitely not one of the long-standing classics. Good job to this guy for getting paid on it though. I'd get my money back if I could.

Here are the parts that stick out to me in particular:
1. The writing isn't that great. He drops the f-bomb here and there for emphasis which is attention getting. But if you're adding the f-bomb to writing that is not well developed...well you're just emphasizing poor writing. Personally, I'm not a prude and have no issues with the word. I just didn't think it was effective in this case.
2. This book is not inspirational and there is nothing profound in here that most people don't already learn on their own from life itself when transitioning from late teen years to early adulthood. Waste of time.
3. There are many claims about what psychologists and other experts believe. A lot of "Research shows..." but there are no citations! Ummm, what? How do we know what Mark summarizes is indeed what research shows. Where is the foundation on which the proof points of this book is written?
"Sometime in the 1960s, developing "high self-esteem"-having positive thoughts and feelings about oneself-became all the rage in psychology. Research found that people who thought highly about themselves generally performed better and cause d fewer problems...Grade inflation, for example, was implemented to make low achieving kids feel better...Pastors and minsters told their congregations that they were each uniquely special in God's eyes...Businesses and motivational seminars cropped up chanting the same paradoxical mantra: every single one uf us can be exceptional and massively successful." Really? How about an example or citation of where this was pulled together.

"Numerous professors and educators have noted a lack of emotional resilience and and excess of selfish demands in today's young people...Speakers and professors are shouted down and banned from campuses for infractions as simple as suggesting that maybe some Halloween costumes really aren't that offensive. Schools counselors note that more students than ever are exhibiting severe signs of emotional distress..." Ok. Who? Where? What? When and where are these things happening? Where are the studies, examples, news references? Where is this guy pulling all of this from? My goodness a 5th grader could write a more complete current event report than the content of this entire book! The acknowledgements state "To Michael Covell for being my intellectual stress test, especially when it comes to understanding psychological research, and for always challenging me on my assumptions." Well good job for trying Michael!

"Brilliant business people are often f*ckups in their personal lives. Extraordinary athletes are often shallow and dumb as a lobotomized rock. Many celebrities are probably just as clueless about life as the people who gawk at them and follow their every more." WOW! Stereotype much?

1,377 people found this helpful

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Yij

Amazing advice that positively changes your outlook on life! Highly recommended!!

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 17, 2019

Verified Purchase

What's that? A book changed my life? Nonsense!! Well, actually that's true, it DID change my life. Here's a very long review which I feel needs to be addressed, as many people don't know what the book is about, give it a 1-star rating and shrug it off as a money-grab scheme using foul language as a means to bait audiences. Which I honestly first thought it was.

-----------------------------------

I have to admit, I wasn't convinced (ignorant, you could say) of all these self-help books people lavish over, I honestly thought it was a load of hippy crap as a means to make a quick buck... Although after a bout of depression last year (yea the "D" word get's thrown around alot these days), I myself was seeking out therapy. I was recommended this author and discovered this book. After asking myself "If this doesn't work, I'll just try something else" I figured I had nothing to lose.

And WOW. This book really changed my perspective on things and ultimately I feel much better and improved! Not 100%, but I'm getting there slowly.

As you could tell from the title, the author isn't shy of using profanity, and I like this. I've read other self-help books and while they're good and all, Mark Manson really engages you on a personal level. Imagine going to the doctor, and he's been all professional... but a tad boring and nearly sends you to sleep. Now imagine the same doctor taking you to the bar, having a pint and a laugh, but telling you the same advice. Who would you connect with better? Yea, I thought so.

Controversial title aside, the book isn't about just not giving a damn, but about focusing WHAT to not give a damn about. Stop getting stressed about by what the media (and others) want us to be, not getting worked up by social media, stuff like that. Instead, focus the damns on the important stuff: family, friends, your well being.

The book does take a while to pick up, with the early chapters focusing on examples of people who you may or may not relate to, or even care about. It can start to drag on, but eventually, Mr. Manson really dives into the meat of the book, and asks yourself to challenge your beliefs. Knowing that you're not always right all the time. Not denying your own flaws by redirecting the blame onto other people when challenged (many people are guilty of this). Acknowledging you're not perfect and rolling with it. Realising your emotions and problems aren't exclusive: nearly everyone in the world will have experienced what you felt at some point in their lives.

Real stuff that actually helps you come to terms with yourself and not inflating your ego, or doing some tantric yoga exercises to unlock your inner chi circles. Real stuff.

I consider this book my bible: I read certain parts every now and then to maintain my self improvement, it gives me solace during times where I'm feeling down, and I harrass my Instagram followers by posting snippets of the pages. I've even brought several copies for friends who were going through a rough time.

-----------------------------------

TLDR: this book helped me out, connects with you on an unconventional level, and ultimately offers brilliant advice that helps improve yourself and hopefully others around you. Highly recommended!

PS. It's a MASSIVE shame that certain individuals refuse to fully read the book due to liberal use of the F word. I'd say that's the whole point: letting go of your "I'm entitled so I'm offended" beliefs and challenging yourself to overcome this personal stigma to improve your outlook on life.

372 people found this helpful

Amazon Customer

Millennial Hipster Junk

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on December 13, 2018

Verified Purchase

Annoyed that I spent gift voucher money on this... very anecdotal & subjective, no references just purely blog dross. No scientific backing, just millennial hipster junk really! Really disappointed :(

363 people found this helpful

Amazon Customer

MUST READ !!

Reviewed in India on July 2, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book is a game changer. It makes you think in a way you never have.. Must read for people who think they are depressed, 'something is wrong with me',, 'why me' type of questions.. Trust me there is nothing wrong with you.. an eye opener for me truly. Just order it already !!!

516 people found this helpful

Diya

Didn't like it much

Reviewed in India on October 24, 2018

Verified Purchase

Overrated. Didn't like it much. There were times I felt the author is contradicting himself. In the first few pages he tries hard to convey the message that you are plain average but towards the end of the book he conveys the opposite - that you are special :) It is different from other self-help books in the way that it doesn't glorify you as someone who is unique and one of a kind. He says that feeling entitled is the reason why people care about unimportant things the way they do. So don't get confused by the title (like I did), the entire book is more about how to not take yourself so seriously.

P.S: If you are looking to feel good, this might not be your cup of tea.

435 people found this helpful

k troughton

It's good but.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 6, 2018

Verified Purchase

Five stars for content, one for style. There's a fad at the moment that says any book in the self help genre has to have a catchy phrase and that it must be repeated ad nauseum (presumably to prove the value of the phrase). This book falls into that particular trap and in the end it just feels like you're being tortured by repetition. Trust me, there's nothing subtle about it! It's a shame, there are important things to read here but the overuse of particular words and phrases is both tedious and mind numbing. A broader vocabulary and a less aggressive style would improve matters immeasurably.

287 people found this helpful