HPC Warlight Men's slip on sneakers nav_sap_plcc_ascpsc CMA Fest Fire TV Stick Grocery Handmade Personalized Jewelry Home Gift Guide Book a house cleaner for 2 or more hours on Amazon TheGrandTour TheGrandTour TheGrandTour  Echo Fire tablets: Designed for entertainment Kindle Paperwhite GNO Shop now STL18_GNO



on March 27, 2013
I loved this book, found it to be extremely helpful to me, and still refer to it at times. I came here to copy the URL to send to a friend so she could buy it, and am puzzled by the two bad reviews and comments. The extraordinary number of 'helpful' votes they got has served to put those two at the top of the list, and that's too bad. I wonder how many people have not given this book a second thought because of it.

As with any book, the writing style either appeals or doesn't. I love his writing for the depth of feeling conveyed, and the clarity often stuns. Lines are in boldface for a reason, and I personally didn't find them annoying or superfluous. There is repetition of ideas: this is a psychologist with (I think) outstanding communication skills, who rephrases important concepts to connect with as many readers as possible. What seems crystal clear to one may seem murky to another unless explained in a way that resonates with him. It also serves to reinforce the concept. Are reviews not to be trusted because they didn't include examples of EI Theory from the book? Mine probably won't either. I'm not a good book or movie reviewer, and don't usually review them for that reason.

I will say this: I've been going through some very intense times the last six years, with accompanying depression. I've read a lot of psychology books trying to get through it. And none of them helped me as much as this simple book. I think most of us know while we can't control much of what life throws our way, we can control how we react to it. But HOW? I'm a stoic: be strong, suck it up, stuff it down, don't whine, don't lay it on people. Be p-o-s-i-t-i-v-e. Meanwhile the noise in my head never let up when this last crisis began. The worries, the fears and regrets, the mental self-flagellation. EI Theory is about using logic to control the emotional ways in which we ALL react to just about everything, even if we don't show it outwardly. I think it is one of the simplest concepts I've ever read, and can literally change people's lives in the way they interact with each other. It can change people's lives in the way they view themselves, their past, their present, their future. It can alter the decisions they make going forward, both little and big. It isn't easy to implement, believe me: however many years you've been on this earth is how many years of thought patterns you'll be working against. It awakened me to the fact that I, an intelligent and rational person, very often have irrational reactions to things. And so do you, whether you realize it or not. This book taught me to ask myself WHY I'm having a particular reaction to someone or something, even a memory, how I CHOSE to have that reaction, and how it's possible to change my reaction to it. And he gives concrete steps with which to accomplish this.

We continually pin our emotional states to outside influences: he made me mad, she embarrassed me, they make me feel inferior, that made me feel like Sucker of the Year. WHY DOES SHE DO THAT WHEN SHE KNOWS I DON'T LIKE IT?? Like we all don't have one of those in our lives whom we blame for making us crazy sometimes. We accept this lack of responsibility for our emotions because we've always been told it's normal. "We're only human, after all-- most people would feel that way given those circumstances." That doesn't mean it has to be that way. Read this book. I took a chance because it sounded interesting. If you don't want to buy it, get it from the library. If nothing else it will change the way you see things, and make you aware of your reactions. Whether or not you do anything with it is up to you. As the good doctor says, frequently, "It will take a force of will." The hits keep coming but I'm much calmer inside, and peacefulness cannot be overrated.

After reading Go Suck a Lemon I was so interested in EI Theory that I read others of his, along with numerous articles on his blog. His book on handling criticism is as good as this one. Because it expands on some basic concepts, I suppose some readers might find it repetitious. When I'm on a quest for insight, I will deal with some repetition in order to glean even one profound statement. Very often it's the exact one I was seeking.
80 people found this helpful
|22 comments|Report abuse
on November 17, 2016
Hilarious to read this book THEN read the one star reviews. I found out while reading this that I have the emotional IQ of a toddler. It gives outstanding advice, insight and strategies to pull yourself out of the pattern of your thoughts working against you. I've heard most of this before, but the author has a way of making it more applicable and usable. This is great information to teach young children and give them skills to deal with challenges they will have in their lives. MUST READ! But if you don't, I'll be ok with it. 😜
11 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on June 4, 2017
I have been struggling with my self defeating thoughts for over 30 years (since I was a teenager). I have PTSD, Borderline and Bipolar II disorders. Most psychologist or therapist want you to dig up the past and work through those issues. This is the first time I have had a book or a person to tell me that I don't need to dig up the past but rather concentrate in the now. When those thoughts (self-defeating) from the past come to mind then I can CHOOSE how I think about them. I can either be rational or irrational in my thinking.

If you apply a few basic skills that are outlined in this book it can benefit you. I am not saying it is a cure but if you look at yourself as a work in progress it can help. This formula method that he teaches is a skill and can work but it takes effort.
6 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on January 11, 2018
The book is a quick read on emotional intelligence. It is mostly focused on sell assessment and self management. It offers a nice perspective on that area. It does not give much information on dealing with others aside from the fact of getting you to feel good or content with other's actions. So if you are looking for tools as a supervisor to help you with your staff, this is not the book for you. The book is written from a clinical standpoint and focuses on self help. It does not deal with productivity or working with other people.
3 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on August 8, 2016
I really liked this book. I was one of those people who go for extremes like "they shouldn't act like that" instead of saying "I would prefer if they didn't act like that, but if they did i would be ok."

I read up to page 30 on my first sitting with it, that normally doesn't happen! This book is ready to read with double space and clear pages.
3 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on November 20, 2016
No magic solution here but definitely worth a read. Entertaining and enjoyable to read and offers great insight some of the more popular books do not.
3 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on November 4, 2017
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It reviews a relatively simple idea- you are responsible for how you feel. Not necessarily easy to live out especially in this world where many people resist such an implication of personal responsibility but potentially powerful to actually live out. As a clinical social worker, I enjoyed his style of writing because it felt like hearing from a colleague. These are not new concepts to me but I feel newly inspired to practice living them out.
2 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on October 21, 2016
I love this book, it's exactly what I was looking for. It provides a simple and quick guide on how to improve our emotional intelligence by changing our perception and thoughts.
At the beginning I was reluctant to read on due to some comments stating that this book had grammar mistakes but I came to the conclusion that this is a strategy used by its author to test our tolerance and see if we can defy our old models of thinking. At least that's what I choose to think though.
2 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on September 20, 2017
You know when you're in the heat of the moment, logic disappears? This helps you recreate your thought process to help you manage your emotions to think with reason instead. Michael Cornwell offers you a formula and strategies to use to help retrain your irrational beliefs into facts and reasoning.
2 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse
on November 23, 2016
At first this book lost me, it was not really engaging; however, as i progressed through it, a lot of the ideas started to make sense.
I'm finding myself paying more and more attention to my self talk and applying some of the tips mentioned in this book...it is veeery helpful!
3 people found this helpful
|0Comment|Report abuse