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Surpassing the Love of Men: Romantic Friendship and Love Between Women from the Renaissance to the Present Paperback – June 17, 1998

by Lillian Faderman (Author)

10 customer reviews

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Draws a variety of sources from the writings of Henry James to the Ladies Home Journal to explore 500 years of friendship and love between women and to cast light on shifting female sexuality theories. Winner of the Lambda Literary Award. Reissue.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

First published in 1981, this feminist classic began modestly as an academic essay on Emily Dickinson's love poems and letters to her future sister-in-law, Sue Gilbert. In her original introduction, Faderman recalled her surprise at finding these records of an erotic attachment between women that showed no evidence of guilt, anxiety, or the need for secrecy. Yet 60 or 70 years after they were written, the original letters had been bowdlerized by a niece of Dickinson's, who clearly found them too shocking for publication. Why, Faderman wondered, was passionate love between women, once almost universally applauded in the Western world, now almost universally condemned? She learned that the love between Dickinson and Gilbert had many precedents, and that it was only in the late 19th century that medical literature and antifeminism combined to rank women who loved women "somewhere," as she puts it bluntly, "between necrophiliacs and those who had sex with chickens." For this new edition, Faderman explains that she has resisted the urge to update her text, hoping that her exploration of romantic friendship, from French libertine literature through the dawn of feminism through the lesbian panic of the 1920s will still serve as "solace and ammunition" for those hoping to find "a usable past." --Regina Marler

About the Author

Lillian Faderman is a professor of English at California State University, Fresno, author of several books, and the winner of the 1992 Lambda Literary Editor's Choice Award and the Lambda Literary Award for Best Lesbian/Gay Anthology. She lives in Fresno, California.

Paperback: 496 pages
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks; 1st edition (June 17, 1998)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0688133304
ISBN-13: 978-0688133306
Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 1.1 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds
Average Customer Review: 10 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #628,319 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #57 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Social Sciences > Gender Studies > Women in History
- #1107 in Books > Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender Books > LGBT Studies
- #6188 in Books > Politics & Social Sciences > Women's Studies

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Amy D. Moore

A text for women who are "wondering"

January 13, 2009

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Recently I was asked for a list of books for "an adult who is just beginning to explore whether or not they may be bi or lesbian". As someone who went through this many, many years ago and has written extensively on this topic, Faderman's book was one of the first that came to mind.

As individuals exploring our own sexuality - regardless of what that is - gaining historical context and perspective is a critical part of self-discovery. This is not the only book I'd recommend and it has a scholarly aspect which borders on clinical for a woman (or man or other) on the road to self-discovery.

I cannot count how many copies of this book I have purchased over the years, highlighting various passages which held out special meaning or purpose for me, and passed on to others. In the end, we all have our own paths and Ms. Faderman's book manages to cross most of them.

For those on a personal path, or those looking to understand the concerns and needs of a loved one trying to understand their place as a lesbian and bisexual in today's world, this is an excellent text for reading and gaining historical perspective. Bravo to Ms. Faderman for not 'updating' a historical text but letting her original research prevail.

10 people found this helpful

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February 8, 2018

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

a classic

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December 19, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I am enjoying every chapter. Much research went into writing this history.

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January 11, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Best. Book. EVER. Especially if you're a lesbian or interested in lesbian history.

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September 2, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

great book containing important social history

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Page Scott

Really Compelling Stuff

May 6, 2008

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I'm surprised there's only one other review for this book! It's absolutely fascinating, and should be on the list of anyone interested in not only womens' issues, but human relationships in general. It will definitely make you think, but it is not a difficult read, and Faderman covers an impressively vast array of sources. I'll be recommending this one to everybody.

5 people found this helpful

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Interesting, if you're into lesbian history.

February 5, 2012

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Interesting and informative, Surpassing the Love of Men is a long anthology of romantic friendships from the 16th century until the 1980s, when the book was written. Although this book is interesting, it is not exactly a page turner. The focus is a bet repetitive and reads somewhat like a textbook. However, I do not regret buying this book and I am still reading it, about five chapters in.

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rachel halloran

Exactly as advertised!

March 15, 2013

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Package came quickly and I was pleased with how much care was taken in packaging. Can't wait to start reading it!

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