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The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide To Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace Paperback – January 8, 2001
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According to Doyle, the wife who chooses to surrender must learn to take care of herself first, overcome the desire to have more power, and abandon the myth of equality. Delving into the personal tales and sisterly advice shared within each chapter's pages, surrendering wives will further note the need to master unsavory phrases like "I can't," and "Whatever you think"--tough to swallow for a generation of women who value their own opinions. While she fully acknowledges that a few bills will go unpaid and a few deadlines or freeway exits will occasionally be missed, she also insists that surrendered wives will encounter less worry and fear, more money, and better sex. Hey, "Whatever you think...." --Liane Thomas
From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Top Customer Reviews
To be sure, reading the book and following through with Doyle's suggestions require courage. I'll admit that I bought the book on a lark, since its title and wildly differing reviews intrigued me-but, as I read through the first chapter I began to realize that I wanted what Doyle promised; I wanted happiness and fulfillment in my relationship, and I wanted my partner to adore me. Yes, the prospect of relinquishing control over my partner was uncomfortable and even frightening, but the final payoff was so much more appealing to me that I decided to follow through with the rest of the book.
Careful reading through this book reveals no mention of "submitting," and Doyle is careful to mention that no woman should ever surrender to an abusive husband or one who is in the grip of an addiction. But, this aside, the chances are that your husband is a worthwhile and loving man who deserves to be treated the way you want to be treated-with trust and respect. I accepted this premise by reasoning that it didn't reflect well on me and my own judgment if I had chosen to be with a man who was untrustworthy and incapable of making his own decisions-and so much so that I had to take over the management of his life.
What Doyle means when she says to "surrender" is to let go of unnecessary control over your husband's life. It does not mean to relinquish control of your own life to your husband.Read more ›
What this book taught me is that, to create greater intimacy in a marriage, you need to surrender control of things and give some of that back to your husband.
It doesn't mean that you lose control altogether... in actuality, you really gain freedom, because you are not responsible for everything and anything. The book teaches you how to take care of yourself FIRST, to allow your husband to manage things such as the finances (this is hard to reliquish control of, but the freedom you get in return is priceless!), to allow him to have greater responsibility of the children, to take more control of household duties, etc., etc. - basically all the things you're always nagging him about! Surrendering these things lets your husband know you trust him, lets him know that you have confidence in him. Because he knows this, he is secure with himself, and more likely to take more responsibility... More than that, his happiness leads to your happiness...Read more ›
I was sure before I read this book that I had no control issues with regard to my husband. My husband has often complimented me on how much fun I am, how mutually compatible we are, and we both felt we had the 'perfect' marriage. Of course, we had angry discussions and uncomfortable disagreements every once in awhile...what married couple doesn't? How shocked I was when I bought this book out of curiosity to find that, through reading stories of other women's marriages, my efforts to be "right" no matter what, was rather unflatteringly exposed. To realize that most of the disagreements we had off and on were about what I saw as his 'incorrect' behavior/ideas and my 'correct' behavior/ideas.
If so, then this book will no doubt benefit you and your marriage. That's the basic premise of this book; to learn to LET GO of unconsciously trying to control aspects of your husband's life that are not your business to try and control.
I saw a couple in Costco recently that I positively cringed over. Apparently, they had missed picking something up on one of the aisles, and she was pointing and directing her husband in a loud, annoyed, abrasive manner. "Over THERE! LOOK AT ME! Don't you SEE WHERE I'M POINTING??!!" She all but added the word...."Idiot!" Her husband looked briefly at her, simply sighed in resignation, and started off toward the area she had pointed to.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Don t let the title discourage you- it's not what you think! Not saying give yourself up! Laura gives such insight about how differently men and women think.. Read morePublished 23 days ago by Eva M Garver
I can relate to what she says in this book, but I'm afraid it's too late for me and my situation!Published 25 days ago by Just Me
Wonderful book! Worth purchasing for new brides or yourself to read over again.Published 25 days ago by blehman
Rather than targeting couples, this book shows the wife how to change herself, and thereby transform the marriage. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Amazon Customer
If you value your marriage and your husband please read this book. It's an amazing sense into how you treat your husband and how it makes him feelPublished 1 month ago by Tracy L Lacy
A hard read for the modern woman who has come of age in a time when women have had to assume multiple roles of head-of-household, have had to be the bread-winner, house-keeper,... Read morePublished 1 month ago by songbird17
Learning how to change a complaint to a desire is essential for a happy marriage not to mention a happy life. This and many others skills and great advice are contain in this book. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Amazon Customer
The book started out as a good read and then as I got further into the book, I just simply didn't agree with the author and stopped reading. Read morePublished 2 months ago by tzbankston