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Surviving Your Child's Adolescence: How to Understand, and Even Enjoy, the Rocky Road to Independence Paperback – February 11, 2013

4.9 out of 5 stars 8 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Five Parental Adjustments to Their Child’s Adolescence

  1. The parent will be less fully informed: "I must get by on less information than I would ideally like to know."
  2. The parent will find the relationship less compatible: "We do not share as much in common as we once did."
  3. The parent will be left more alone: "I am no longer my child's favored company."
  4. The parent will be less in charge: "I have less influence to get my way."
  5. The parent will be in more opposition: "We have more frequent disagreements between us now."

Surviving Your Child's Adolescence is a parent playbook that helps turn adjustments like these into opportunities for staying connected as the push toward independence is causing teenager and parent to grow apart, which is what adolescence is meant to do.

Cartoon Visuals from author Carl Pickhardt

Surviving Your Childs Adolescence Image1
"If you want me to be more independent, just give me more support."
Surviving Your Childs Adolescence Image2
"I already told you! I'm leaving. I'll be with friends. We're going to hang out. And I'll be back later. What more do you need to know?"
Surviving Your Childs Adolescence Image3
"What do you mean 'inconsistent'? All I'm asking is for you to act grown up and remember you're still a child!"

Review

Psychologist, prolific parenting author (Boomerang Kids) and Psychology Today blogger Pickhardt focuses on helping parents understand the adolescent years, "the age of argument." Pickhardt identifies four adolescent stages, beginning with early and mid-adolescence, and then moving on to late adolescence and trial independence (which ends after the college years). With characteristic clarity and wisdom, Pickhardt walks parents through various ages and stages, explaining how to be supportive, empathetic and accessible while at the same time providing limits and boundaries. He concludes with "eight anchors for adolescent growth," including completing homework, cleaning up one's room, doing household chores, joining in family gatherings, community service, saving money, developing proficiency and relating to salient adults (a counterbalance to the overwhelming influence and "mixed blessing" of peers at this age). He also covers such familiar teen topics as sex, substance use, the Internet, dating, and effective communication. Pickhardt is adept at deconstructing the complexities of the parent/adolescent relationship, pointing out, for instance, that the mother/adolescent daughter relationship is often the most conflicted and intense due to the "double closeness" created by being attached by birth and sexually similar. This witty yet sensible guidebook to the adolescent years will help parents stay steady as their kids negotiate the rocky waters on their journey to independence. (Mar.) (Publishers Weekly, April 2013)

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (February 11, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1118228839
  • ISBN-13: 978-1118228838
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #412,989 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Excellent
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By Star on July 3, 2015
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Every parent should read this book.do so while.the child is an infant. It really..helps you to speak so they.understand and keep.your sanity.love it
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Very helpful and easy to follow. The author is able to come to some fundamental advice about childrearing that is clearly the first step toward keeping a cool head when your child does something to shock you and encites you as a parent. Expectations allow us to be prepared and deal with problems that arriae in the best way possible.
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This explains a lot. Wish I read this a few years ago. Best to read at age 12 or so, but still worth reading if you're having difficulties with older kids.
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