- File Size: 1137 KB
- Print Length: 490 pages
- Publication Date: October 9, 2012
- Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
- Language: English
- ASIN: B009OOWZDI
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Lending: Enabled
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,070,196 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
The Swimmer's Assistant Kindle Edition
"Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress"
Is the world really falling apart? Is the ideal of progress obsolete? Cognitive scientist and public intellectual Steven Pinker urges us to step back from the gory headlines and prophecies of doom, and instead, follow the data: In seventy-five jaw-dropping graphs, Pinker shows that life, health, prosperity, safety, peace, knowledge, and happiness are on the rise. Learn more
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Top customer reviews
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This book is horrid.
It's predictable. The plot is unoriginal and uninspired. The main character isn't likeable -- she's annoying with her constant naivete. She still uses a flip phone. She can't walk in heels. She doesn't know how to dress herself. She doesn't listen to contemporary music. She can't drive well and/or is scared to drive. She's scared of dogs. She's prudish about seeing her boss in a Speedo. Over and over again, we're reminded that Jane is boring and lacks personality. The author seems to have some idea in her head that teachers are lifeless creatures with no interests other than their students.
The writing is terrible, made worse by incessant grammatical errors. There are homophone issues throughout (breaks v. brakes). Pages are littered with comma splices and sentence fragments. Apparently the author believes she can put however many periods she wishes in an ellipsis as though the rules of the English language don't apply to her. It's distracting and disappointing. I realize the author self-published -- spending a little money upfront to have an editor review the manuscript would have gone a long way, particularly if the author is hopeful that this will be her big break into publishing.
There are also basic things wrong that would have been corrected with a little research. The author uses the phrase "iron wrought gate" instead of "wrought iron gate." She also references hearing a dial tone after someone hangs up, but the character was clearly using a cell phone. She uses the phrase Los Angelian to refer so someone who lives in Los Angeles -- the appropriate term is Los Angelite. Good writing should be a blend of research and imagination -- fact-checking is critical.
This dragged on for 490 pages for no reason -- great novels of our time are rarely that long. This certainly didn't need to be. This story could have been told in 250 pages or less.
It wasn't even worth the 99 cents I paid.
The language wasn't difficult or haughty (lately some of the things I have been reading seem to take perfectly normal speech and then switch it up with awkward words from the thesaurus). The ideas and plot flowed, there was foreshadowing, and there wasn't much in the way of strange wording of phrases (except, of course the previously mentioned one, and then getting a saying backwards (per my notes... I make notes while I read, otherwise I'd not remember what it was that grabbed me at that minute)). It was when Vanessa was speaking (location 14185)... "A moment on the hips, a lifetime on the lips"... however, that might have been intentional seeing as that other than being vindictive, perhaps Vanessa isn't very bright. I didn't think to email the author and ask her about that. Maybe I should?
The story has a lot of different elements that make it feel as if it could be really real. There are fart jokes, lots of product/pop culture placement, and funny tees. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't able to imagine the characters as the characters, but rather I imagined the author for Jane and her swim-crush as Brian, but that's only because there's a lot of the writer in the main female character. It's not a bad thing, but I doubt that the author actually meant for that to happen. So, of course I got to imagine the author in cartoon cake panties and was scarred for life. Just kidding.
All in all, it's an easy read with good flow, plot development and just enough sweetness to make it work. The only thing I think the author could have done is make there more tension in the build up, but that's a personal preference (what can I say, I like a tortured soul or two). The spelling and grammar was spot-on (which is very important), and it works. The dialogue is realistic, and the characters have just enough details that they're not set in stone, leaving the reader to be able to use their imagination (if they have one, if they don't... I imagine they'd just think of stick people with the generalized characteristics of the characters).
Definitely clean enough, sans some mild language here and there, and a mention of a plastic vagina. No sordid sex scenes, but those would feel out of place in this story. If it were a movie, it'd probably only be a PG-13. I specifically enjoyed that it was a full-length book being treated as a full-length book, instead of a short story. Price point was spot-on, as well, and I would like to see the next book pick up when Jane lands in London. I'm just saying...