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Tactical Chef Apron by ThinkGeek

4.6 out of 5 stars 129 customer reviews
| 12 answered questions

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  • Real MOLLE system for holding everything a Grill Master needs
  • 2 large pouches and 3 smaller pouches; Front and back removable Velcro patch
  • Perfect for storing condiments, grilling utensils, salt / pepper... and your phone
  • Adjustable side strap for the perfect fit
  • Materials: 100% Cotton
5 new from $116.99

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Product Description

Color:Black

A seasoned outdoor chef attempts to prepare for all external variables. But it's an impossible feat. The prep tray overflows with spatulas, BBQ forks, tongs, brushes, thermometers, spices, plates, and of course, beer. A chef's space is an overcrowded one, to say the least, but every tool is essential to the mission. They were dark times; summer afternoons littered with burnt meats and overly charred vegetables. Standing at a grill fixated on cooking -- on creating! -- was an impossible task. You had to depend on the kindness of friends and family to run and retrieve things you had forgotten in the kitchen. A quick grab for the tongs could mean spilling your beer. The spice was flowing... on the ground when you dropped it. That was, until the Tactical Apron was born. Emblazoned with the title CHEF and equipped with a MOLLE system, you'll feel like a Soldier of Beef! The Tactical Apron is not intended for use in combat against anything other than a grill or smoker. It will not prevent injury from shrapnel, bullets, Pokemon, or other projectiles.


Product Information

Color:Black

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Color: Black Verified Purchase
The commies will NOT rob your ribs of their precious bodily fluids when SpecTacOpsSOGKillFace CHEF is on duty. No. Way. Dangling from the entirety of your body will all of your tools be. No grill so fierce as to stop your furious grilling onslaught. Your pouches will overflow with spices/sauces/mops of your enemies. When wearing this armor you won't even need to ignite your grill, FEAR ALONE will sear your meats to perfect delectable eatability. Cows, pigs, chickens and fowl will escape their pens and offer themselves for char and consumption. YOU CANNOT FAIL TO COOK WHEN WEARING THIS. IT WILL NOT ALLOW IT.

*only works with charcoal grills because only the unworthy use gas*
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Color: Black Verified Purchase
This product is AWESOME. It's an awesome gift for any macho dude or police officer or really any guy. Everything about it is unique. It looks and feels very authentic and has all sorts of accessory holders. Spice "cartridge" pouches, etc.

However, you can't order customized replacement patches via any automated or online service because these awesome guys that designed this were total knuckleheads for a millisecond. They put the hook-n-loop on the patch and not on the apron. This means that if you want to replace the front or back patch with your name or something custom, you have to find someone (local) that will put it on a patch then sew the hook-n-loop part on for you.
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Color: Black
So there I was just last Saturday holding my weekly neighborhood tactical BBQ.

I mean when the four of us get together you want to talk about some bad-muthas. Now, I'm a firm believer in the idea that no self respecting mall ninja should ever be without some kind of MOLLE webbing on. I mean, pajamas, bath robe, swin trunks, or even a rain coat. You NEED MOLLE webbing.

Anyway, back to the BBQ. I grilling up some tactical bacon for me and the guys, when all of a sudden I notice some pretty menacing looking kids playing in the street. Oh did my spidey-sense start tingling. I knew these little delinquents were up to something, and that it was up to me to take the matters into my own hands. Well, since I was already wearing my awesome tactical apron there was no need for me to run inside and don my combat vest. I was ready to roll ladies and gentlemen (chicks dig tactical guys).

So I'm off. I was going to jump my 4 foot high chain link fence, but the doctor said I need to take it easy on the knees. The doc says my extreme obesity is causing joint problems, but I just scoff at him and I know that my bad knees are from years of being tacti-cool!

So once I open the gate and get my speed up to a brisk walk, I was on these little hoodlums. Of course I treat them like any perp and demand authority. Kids these days, no respect I tell you. When I demanded names, dates of birth, socials and forms of ID's one of the kids had the nerve to tell me to "Get Bent". Well, that's when I knew things had turned hostile.

Some might have said the look in their eyes suggested confusion to the situation, but I knew what was going on. The look in those kids eyes was that of an ice cold pack of wolves. BAM!
Read more ›
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Color: Black
I ordered this awesome tactical apron from ThinkGeek. It comes with a MOLLE loop system with several clips, two large removable pouches, three small removable pouches, three apron pockets, and two removable Velcro CHEF patches: a 2" x 3" patch on a pouch and a 2.5" x 9" patch on the back. The apron material is 100% cotton and is made in China. It comes with a disclaimer "This apron is a novelty product only, neither intended for actual military, combat use, nor a protective garment. It will not prevent injury from shrapnel, bullets, or other projectiles."

Overall, the apron looks very cool and is well made with one minor flaw. I was excited to customize the apron to use in the shop by replacing the Velcro patches on the front and back with commercially-available tactical Velcro patches, BUT I discovered that, unlike other tactical vests, this apron has the hard hook side sewn into the apron NOT the soft loop side. Most Velcro patches come with the hook side on the back, so they WON"T STICK to the apron's Velcro pieces! Such a major design flaw should have been caught prior to production. I'm now in the process of replacing the original hook pieces with the loop pieces from the back of the patches, so I can use my custom tactical patches.
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By dclark2134 on November 17, 2014
Color: Black Verified Purchase
Great product. Very cool. Used it for my halloween costume
Comment 30 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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Color: Black Verified Purchase
I am a real grilling fan, grilling three or four times a week. I was looking for something that could hold the myriad of accouterments like sauces, spices, tongs, grabbers, spatulas, iPhone, beer, you-name-it to avoid having to make all those yo-yo trips back into the house. This tactical apron solved the problem. It is well made, doesn't feel cheap or light weight and looks cool. My wife saw it for the first time and just grinned in disbelief!
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Color: Black Verified Purchase
This is an absolutely amazing apron. It is comfortable soft cotton and care should be taken around open flames but it looks cool. It fits well and is fully adjustable for my size. 5' 7", 165 with a middle age paunch. The back extends to the waist line while the front extends about 8" below the waistline. Excellent finish to the fabric and the pouches are an awesome addition. There's plenty of room to add MOLLE gear if you want, however, if you want to add personalized patches, the Velcro style base is reversed from the normal. The stiffer pokey side is attached to the cloth and the softer "female" is attached to the patch included. Opposite of any patches I have purchased or worn in uniform. That's not an issue for me. I bought this to be an apron with the included parts. If I want to personalize it that would be easy. Buy the the patches that are iron on and use the fabric that the reverse Velcro will attach too. Easy fix. I highly recommend this because it will be a lot of fun. 5 stars. Excellent stitching, quality fabric for the cost and all the parts are there.

Update 10-28-2016

I have had 3 friends state they have left positive feedback on this purchase but it doesn't show here. I'm not sure why. They left it on my feedback. This is an excellent item and I don't know what that's all about. I also had one positive feedback that was someone I didn't know disappear. WTF!
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