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Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart Paperback – June 1, 2003

4.8 out of 5 stars 24 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

To ensure that one's marriage lasts "as long as we both shall live" as opposed to the increasingly popular "as long as we both shall love," William J. Doherty (Take Back Your Kids) recommends that couples undertake daily "connection rituals" that facilitate "intentional marriage." In Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World That Pulls Us Apart, Doherty, the director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at the University of Minnesota, advises couples to avoid family and friends who undermine their marriage and to avoid sacrificing their relationship to their kids.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"While it is primarily for married couples and those considering marriage, this book is also beneficial for therapists and professional leaders....it is applicable to those who are considering any type of partnership/relationship....chapters are inviting, engaging, and readable....a book for couples and can be used as a companion for those in therapy. It will also serve as an excellent text for marriage enrichment programs. Pastors and church educators will find Doherty's approach to marriage and family affirming of the work of their community of faith and practical for ministry within the congregation."--"Family Ministry" "Doherty's book offers solutions."--"St. Croix Valley Press" and "White Bear Press"
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 184 pages
  • Publisher: The Guilford Press; 1 edition (June 1, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1572308796
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572308794
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6.1 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #179,910 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am a graduate student, this book was an assignment that required me to design a marriage enrichments program. So I approached this book with a very critical eye, wanting to find all the pros and cons. With that being said, I loved this book. The author William J. Doherty does an excellent job addressing issues and attitudes in marriage in a way that I have never thought of. The concept of a consumer attitude is a profound idea, and better yet it makes sense. The book is well written (but on a level that anyone can read and understand), with great examples, and ideas to apply the concepts presented in this book. This is a book that everyone should read; it is not just for marriages that are struggling. I feel that I have a very healthy and happy marriage, yet this book has helped me improve a relationship that I thought did not need improvement. It can also help newly weds who are juts starting out on their journey together. Over all this is a great book that will help any marriage as much as the reader is willing to allow it.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A wonderful exposé on the current trend of friends, marriage counselors, etc., encouraging those in marriages to leave "if you aren't getting your needs met." He skillfully shows that with a small change in both partners' (and sometines just one), many divorces could be avoided. He is careful to point out there are still cases that would require a divorce, such as abuse and repeated infidelity. But great hope is given that many can take back their relationships and enjoy each other.
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Format: Hardcover
Plenty of titles provide marital advice; but few so clearly outline the outside forces which tend to drive couples apart as William Doherty's Take Back Your Marriage, which tells how to stick together in a world which pulls people apart. Family therapist Doherty says today's divorces are the result of conflicting demands on time and money - troubles which can be overcome by determined couples. This tells how.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My marriage is in serious trouble and I have been reading and researching non-stop for months trying to find a solution. This is the very first thing I have read that gave me true insight into myself as a woman, wife, and mother and gave me practicle advice about how to start to mend my family. I have learned the hard way that therapists can damage a good relationship and destroy one that is in trouble. I am still so terrified about my situation that there is not another thing I am able to think about but at least now I have a game plan. I wish I could have William Doherty as my own marriage counselor.
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Format: Paperback
If you`re either struggling to improove your marriage or experiencing a marital crisis of any kind; if you want to find tips on how to re-bond with your spouse or if you are about to get married or to make a commitment with someone, this book will absolutely help you find a PRACTICAL way to do so. It`s easy and enjoyable to read, it`s practical, non-preaching, but at the same time profound. William J. Doherty mainly focuses on commitment and how external forces might separate us and how to deal with them. Make yourself, your spouse and your kids (in case) a favor, get this book and find again your way to happiness (Doherty`s "The intentional Family", is a GREAT choice too).
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Format: Paperback
In our culture that tells us that we should get what we want and get it right now, we often apply that principle to our marriages. This is why 50% of them end tragically in divorce! Doherty challenges the "consumerism" of our outlook on marriage, and what a challenge it is! This book, if you let it change your heart and mind, will reform your marriage!
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I think that this book is very helpful in presenting the issues that pull marrriages apart. It is comforting to know that daily stresses and "drift" are a common component of every marriage, and that couples must do their best to "de-consumerize" their perception of marriage and focus on commitment. I thought the book also offered a candid appraisal that many marriage therapists are really not "committed" to making a marriage work, but fall into the "consumer" attitude in trying to make things work if that what the two spouses want. After an excellent job in laying out the issues that marriages face, I thought the book was a bit lean on offering solutions to the problems. Nonetheless, identifying the causes of issues is at least half the battle.
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Format: Paperback
My wife and I both have read this book. We've been married 11 years (married at 21-years old) and have a strong marriage that has never been close to having problems, and yet we still benefited from this book. It generated great conversation between us and helped us to consider issues and situations that had not yet arisen in our relationship, but could have been on the horizon.

I like that the author does everything he can to focus on how BOTH parties can work to fix a marriage, instead of providing excuses for divorce. Sure, some marriages just aren't meant to last and probably shouldn't, but I think people in this day and age are too quick to throw their hands up in despair and give up on their relationship.

I recommend strongly for pre-marital couples, as well.

It's a quick and easy read that is well-structured. The author uses lots of real-world examples (essentially case studies), to show that it isn't all theory.
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