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Taking Charge of Anger: How to Resolve Conflict, Sustain Relationships, and Express Yourself without Losing Control Paperback – October 30, 2003

4.5 out of 5 stars 14 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"'Taking charge of your anger is a journey,' Robert Nay observes. Your patients who have problems with anger control and aggression could not do better than to take this journey by reading this practical, engaging, user-friendly guide. It blends instructive anecdotes and case material with self-help suggestions that are based on empirically validated procedures. Strongly recommended!"--Donald Meichenbaum, PhD, Distinguished Professor Emeritus, University of Waterloo; Research Director, The Melissa Institute for Violence Prevention and Treatment of Victims of Violence, Miami, FL

"Rarely does one find outstanding scholarship and clinical wisdom wedded in one book. Such is the case in Dr. W. Robert Nay's exciting text. The writing style is highly engaging and the text is filled with numerous relevant examples. This book is a ‘must read' for anyone who wants to learn to utilize anger reactions more effectively, whether in personal relationships or the work world. It is a self-help goldmine from a very wise individual who is also a scholarly expert in the anger control field."--James P. McCullough, Jr., PhD, Department of Psychology, Virginia Commonwealth University

"Dr. Nay presents clear, effective, and nonjudgmental road maps for identifying and gaining control of anger. He is a skilled clinician whose work is comprehensive, and helpful. Following this program is likely to help you improve your communication and closeness with the important people in your life."--Stephen Winter, President, American Healthcare Institute

"If anger is a problem for you, Dr. Nay offers a step-by-step, practical model for what sets off your anger, what happens once you ‘lose it,' and how you can gain control. With control, anger will no longer have a negative impact on your personal, social, or work relationships. I can attest to Dr. Nay's abilities as a teacher and trainer. Now he brings his expertise directly to readers in this excellent book."--Larry B. Silver, MD, Department of Psychiatry, Georgetown University Medical Center

“Nay's comprehensive, rigorously ordered, step-by-step management program for identifying, understanding and defusing anger will surely continue to find a broad and welcoming audience across modern societies. One of the features that sets apart Nay's approach from other anger management programs is his refusal of the usual reductive definition of the problem…In favor of a uniquely broad definition of anger as having a spectrum of 'faces.' His program rests upon a long trial and research period (over 25 years and hundreds of treated cases), and has evolved through the decade that Nay has been using his model to train professional therapists across the country, working in the fields of mental health, medicine, social work, substance abuse, and school counseling….A worthwhile read for everyone. It provides the basics for any community, school or family program for rethinking ways of relating. A highly detailed step-by-step program for restructuring one's life, this book has positive messages and useful strategies that can benefit every individual and every community!”--Mental Help
(Mental Help 2015-02-26)

About the Author

W. Robert Nay, PhD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice in McLean, Virginia, and Annapolis, Maryland, and Clinical Associate Professor at Georgetown University School of Medicine. The author of two psychology textbooks, Dr. Nay has taught thousands of mental health professionals nationwide to conduct anger management training with their clients. He has appeared repeatedly on national television to discuss media violence. His website is www.wrobertnay.com.


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 245 pages
  • Publisher: The Guilford Press; 1 edition (October 30, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1572306807
  • ISBN-13: 978-1572306806
  • Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #200,166 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Taking Charge Of Anger is a straightforward self-help guide to learning how to experience and even use anger without letting it take control. Licensed clinical psychologist W. Robert Nay covers how to identify and prepare for common triggers of anger, learning how to dampen anger or identfy and change thoughts that fuel anger, skills for staying cool under fire, establishing new habits for managing anger instead of falling back into destructive old patterns, and much more. A "must-read" for taking back control over one's life, especially for anyone whose temper has cost them a job, a great opportunity, a relationship, or more.
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Format: Paperback
I have been greatly helped by this book. I've read others and had lackluster results mainly because they focus on identifying and classifying issues but fall short when it comes to weponizing the reader with techniques that achieve results.

This text (like some others) begins by drawing the reader in with situational examples mapped to a breakdown of the underpinning anger types. There are self assessments to help guide the reader into better insights. This is further (and nicely) developed in Chapter 4 to give powerful techniques that allowed me address my own particular issues. By the time I completed Chapters 6 and 7 I was actively engaging effective methods that had real positives impacts on my life. The methods used are sensible, easy to apply and effective.

I am a slow reader by comparison to most; however, I believe that I was served well by this. I would suggest reading this book at a pace that allows time to reflect and apply the techniques. It seems logical to me that the process of behavioral change is much slower than the process of understanding my issues, so taking the material in chunks allowed me time to manage these methods in an effective way.

"Taking Charge of Anger" is allowing me to reframe the world in away that I can effectively cope; likewise, I am better equipped to be a more comfortable person to be around.

Good luck on your particular journey.
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Format: Paperback
Before writing my review, I read the others. Some wrote that this book was the same old, same old, nothing new. The contents may not be altogether new,however, the way Dr. Nay presents the material is helpful.

Over the past five years, I went to numerous counselors asking for help with my angry outbursts and my continued disgust for some peoples behavior. These counselors only offered me handouts.

One counselor provoked me to see how expressed my anger. I caught on to what she was doing. I asked her if she was actually trying to Piss me Off. She said yes. I asked her why. "I wanted to see how you would react." Regardless of her credentials, I immediately stood up and left.

In this book, Dr. Nay states that anger has five basic faces: Passive-aggressive, Sarcasm, Cold-Anger, Hostility, and Aggression. After taking his brief questionnaire in this book, I found that I fit into all five categories at one time or another.

Growing up in The Bronx, New York, I learned to wear many masks in order to survive. Dr. Nay does not offer excuses to continue in my "wild and crazy" behavior. He offers me solution.

If someone truly wants answers to the anger problem, try this book. It is no magic pill. In fact, I leave my copy on my kitchen table and read a few pages a day. I use a yellow highlighter and numerous pens.

After completing my college degree in 2002 at age forty-seven, I had a lot of knowledge, but I did not have a solution for my emotional problems, especially my anger.

In defense of my education, I am using the tools of studying in my approach to this book. Without controlling or taking charge of my anger, my degree will do me little good if I cannot get along with people.

Conflict is everywhere.
Read more ›
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Format: Paperback
I found Dr. Nye's book on anger management extremely helpful. The book offers a pragmatic, organized approach to confronting anger that has set my life on a new track. Following the recommendations in the book has helped me not only rethink situations that affect my day, but also better see how situations affect others, and allow me to grow into a more compassionate human being. His ordered approach provides for an immediate improvement in handling anger. Each time I would reach a new roadblock in growth, the next chapter was there to help me reach the next level. In reading the book I found it vital to allow a brutally honest self-assessment in order to reap maximum benefit from Dr. Nye's recommendations - but there was no reason to cheat myself here since it was my life and my relationships that were on the line.

If you have a serious anger problem, buy this book. If you don't think you have an anger problem but can't explain why your relationships are not as good as they might otherwise be, buy this book. If you believe your heritage or your childhood experience is a cause for your problems, buy and USE this book!! Being true to yourself, read and faithfully apply Dr. Nye's book, chapter by chapter. This method works!
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Format: Paperback
I have had a problem with my anger for the past 20 years and Dr. Nay's outstanding treatment of the six clearly defined steps of anger management was incredibly useful in helping me to identify my anger early on and to derail my anger before it gets the best of me. The chapters are easy to understand and logically move the reader from identifying your personal anger profile, to understanding how anger develops, to "dampen" anger arousal and to change the way you think (which is the inner trigger for anger in the first place). Also, Nay covers how to communicate your anger and to defuse another's ire directed to you. If you foul up and old habits reemerge, Nay covers how to get back on track. I highly recommend this book as tremendously helpful if anger has become a problem, or if you are in a relationship with someone who has an anger problem.
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