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I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood Perfect Paperback – January 4, 2011
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"Warlight" by Michael Ondaatje
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“In this memoir of love and loss, Lisa Manterfield dares to reveal the depths of her desperation, and in so doing, dares to reveal the depths of her heart.”
~ Jennie Nash, author of The Victoria’s Secret Catalog Never Stops Coming and Other Lessons I Learned From Breast Cancer
“I’m Taking My Eggs And Going Home is a wonderful book, full of heart and hope. As funny as it is moving. I couldn’t put it down.”
~ Carrie Friedman, author of Pregnant Pause: My Journey Through Obnoxious Questions, Baby Lust, Meddling Relatives, and Pre-Partum Depression
“Lisa tackles a taboo subject with candor and aplomb. Her voice is a welcome sanity check for women left to wonder how society became so fixated on motherhood.”
~ Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos, author of Silent Sorority: A (Barren) Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found
“A raw, transparent account of the gut-wrenching journey of infertility. Lisa writes with poetic, reckless abandon. Anyone who has ever suffered through infertility will thank her for pouring on the page the painful process of coming to terms with never being a mom. A true sister in the journey of infertility!”
~ Stephanie Baffone, LPCMH, NCC licensed and board certified mental health therapist
“The book was so much more than an infertility story. It was an account of real life and the barrage of situations women face in adulthood. I hope many women will read this and feel comforted, whether they have faced infertility or not.”
~ Lily Hay, author of The Infertile Mind
“Be ready for boldness. This writer doesn’t do sugarcoating. Hip Hip Hooray to her for telling it like it is, and also for seeing this very important story through to a book.”
~ Sonja Lewis, author of The Barrenness
About the Author
Lisa Manterfield is the creator of LifeWithoutBaby.com, the online community that gives a voice to women without children. Her writing has been featured in a broad range of publications, including Huffington Post, Los Angeles Times, and Psychology Today. She has also taken her work to the stage at venues such as Spark Off Rose and Expressing Motherhood. Lisa is the author of the award-winning memoir I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood and the novel A Strange Companion. She lives in Southern California with her wonderful husband ("Mr. Fab") and overindulged cat.
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We haven't yet traveled as far down the IF path as the author (we're going to start testing in the next couple months), but all of the content leading up to the author's IF testing rang true and familiar to me (I'm pretty sure I recognized the website she talks about joining, having used it myself for a year and a half), and I found myself welcoming this wonderful lady into my heart as she lets us into hers.
It was also refreshing and validating to discover there are women like myself out there -- women who are opposed to the drugs of IVF. I've never responded well to artificial hormones (ie all the many types of hormonal BC I've tried have made me a crazy-woman or made me very ill), and ever since I started thinking about what we would do if we had trouble conceiving naturally, I've been resistant to the idea of IVF and putting myself through all of that. It was good to see that I'm not alone in having reservations about this type of medical treatment.
For my own well-being, I've been working on embracing a future without children in it, because I know how uncertain the IF and adoption/fostering journeys are. Reading this book was, again, refreshing and validating. It was also helpful and informative -- I've been dreading the pain and intrusiveness of IF testing, and reading about Lisa's experiences was informative and helped me prepare myself for what is to come. It also reaffirms my desire to always put my relationship with my husband first, to not lose touch with each other through this difficult journey, and waste years of our precious time on this Earth together.
I think I'll suggest that my husband read this too. Although he doesn't talk about it much, I know it's been hard on him too.
The cherry on top, is the website/support group the author has started and tells us about at the very end of the book.
The book captured the array of unexplainable emotions experienced on an almost daily basis. Lisa writes from a place of experience; aimlessly searching for answers like many other women/couples. Lisa, doesn't sugar coat the toll the journey has taken on her spouse; candidly sharing the enormous effect a diagnosis of infertility and the haste to beat the child rearing clock has on a marriage/relationship.
I read this book in 3 days. I couldn't seem to put it down. I laughed, cried, laughed, and cried some more.
A must read. And good luck to all those that suffer in silence. Don't ever loose hope.