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Taking the High Road: How to Cope Your Ex Husband, Maintain Your Sanity, and Raise Your Child in Peace Paperback – January 1, 2000
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From the Author
Are You Ready to Create a More Delicious Life?
Hi! I'm glad you stopped by, and I hope you'll stick around for a few minutes so I can tell you how Taking the High Road can really help you cope with your ex-husband, maintain your sanity, and raise your child in peace.
First things first. I bet you're wondering how I came to write this book.
Well, once upon a time I married a man I thought was sent from the heavens for me to savor until I was no more. Eight years later, after our divorce and an unbelievable string of his uncooperative behavior, I began having dreams about parting his hair with a weed whacker.
By day, of course, I was a good girl, who much to the dismay of friends and family worked very hard to get along with my ex and co-parent in peace. By night, however, in dreamland, my alter ego, was fond of firing up the weed whacker and chasing him around the neighborhood.
Determined to quiet my nocturnal avenger and step deeper into wonderland, I scoured the bookstores for a promising post-divorce tutorial which would teach me how to consistently master my emotions, nourish and preserve myself, keep my sense of humor, and keep my child whole and happy.
I never found that magical book, so I wrote it. And now I want to share the 50 power strategies in Taking the High Road with you so you can recreate your relationship with your ex using wit, mindfulness, creativity, strategic planning (and blatant trickery if the situation calls for it) and get on to the glorious rest of your life too.
To help you master your emotions, I've provided lots of mental-health aids like affirmations, meditation techniques, prayer prescriptions, visualization exercises and role-playing. If you memorize the pages on "Playacting" and "Witnessing" alone, you will quickly have 2 great sanity savers to use the next time you talk to your ex.
To help you nourish yourself, I'll teach you put together pampering routines and lean on your friends for support. Each section ends with a pampering break, but I have no objections to you reading in the hot tub too. As you start your high road journey, it may sometimes seem like you're chugging up a steep hill on a 10-speed bike. Learn to weave, don't skip the TLC rest stops along the way, and bring a friend along for company.
To help you keep your sense of humor, which is essential if you're going to spend extended amounts of time on the high road, I've scattered dozens of my own and other divorced mother's fall-on-the-floor-and-beat-the-rug-funny ex dramas and solutions. Keep the laugh with you as you learn how to put brakes on your bullying ex, collect support, schmooze with your ex's new honey, and much, much more.
To help you preserve yourself, I'll clue you in on the best times to communicate with your ex, guide you through focused "Power Talks" when you want to make a request or share information, stage escape routines when things get too sticky, and regroup after a bad "Ex" day.
To help you keep your child whole and happy, I'll charge you, as your child' s primary role model to set the example. With the help of your Small Thoughts Journal (a private diary to record all negative chit-chat about your ex), whining limits, story-telling and creative visitation send-offs, you'll be able to neutralize your visitation-day angst, simplify your child' s life, talk out their troubles, and build a supportive village around them.
Needless to say, after 6 years on the high road, I no longer have weed whacker dreams. If I wake up in the middle of the night anymore, it's usually because I've rolled over onto my Tickle-Me Elmo doll and set off a stream of giggles for both of us. I have a delicious life and I want you to have one too.
So, read the book, do the work, hug your child, and I'll see you on the high road.
P.S. Please write me to share your successes, your transformation, and your breathtaking view from the high road.
From the Back Cover
He says you're a lousy mother...(even though he left you for a woman half his age). He claims he's too broke to pay child support...(a friend stole the cash from his freezer).
No matter how big a jerk your ex is, you can make your relationship "child-friendly". Nailah Shami, a seasoned veteran of the divorce wars, has been through it all, and she's got stories, strategies, self-affirming rituals, and sanity-saving advice for keeping it together when coping with an exasperating ex. Whether he's a "Tardy Tad", a "Rubber Check Robert", a "Mr. Hyde the Money", or all of these and more, Taking the High Road will arm you with all the information you need.
-- Turn a potentially no-win situation into an opportunity -- for you and your child
-- Communicate with your ex so that you get everything you need
-- Cope with child support problems
-- Help your child through the pain of divorce
-- Keep your perspective (and your sense of humor)
-- Be good to yourself
-- Create more abundance in your life
Plus tips on:
-- Visitation issues
-- What to do about late pickups and drop-offs, and no-shows
-- Strategies for taking the bite out of the bully
-- Action to take when the wheels of justice get stuck in the mud
Witty, wise, supportive, and uplifting, the tips, affirmations, reflections, and inspirational anecdotes found here can help shatterproof your nerves and keep you above the fray. By choosing to take the high road -- especially when your ex won't -- you'll give yourself and your child a precious gift: a happier, more peaceful, and, hopefully, saner life.
Top customer reviews
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I've been divorced for 3 years and my ex is the original jerk. He shows up late to pick my son up all the time. He pays child support late. He's made these past few years crazy for me. Taking the High Road has great ideas for regaining control of my life, so my jerky ex doesn't have his way, and I'm having fun trying them out. And so far, knock wood, they're working.