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How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 Paperback – Illustrated, January 10, 2017
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A must-have guide for anyone who lives or works with young kids, with an introduction by Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, the international mega-bestseller The Boston Globe dubbed “The Parenting Bible.”
For nearly forty years, parents have turned to How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk for its respectful and effective solutions to the unending challenges of raising children. Now, in response to growing demand, Adele’s daughter, Joanna Faber, along with Julie King, tailor How to Talk’s powerful communication skills to parents of children ages two to seven.
Faber and King, each a parenting expert in her own right, share their wisdom accumulated over years of conducting How To Talk workshops with parents, teachers, and pediatricians. With a lively combination of storytelling, cartoons, and observations from their workshops, they provide concrete tools and tips that will transform your relationship with the children in your life.
What do you do with a little kid who…won’t brush her teeth…screams in his car seat…pinches the baby...refuses to eat vegetables…throws books in the library...runs rampant in the supermarket? Organized by common challenges and conflicts, this book is an essential manual of communication strategies, including a chapter that addresses the special needs of children with sensory processing and autism spectrum disorders.
This user-friendly guide will empower parents and caregivers of young children to forge rewarding, joyful relationships with terrible two-year-olds, truculent three-year-olds, ferocious four-year-olds, foolhardy five-year-olds, self-centered six-year-olds, and the occasional semi-civilized seven-year-old. And, it will help little kids grow into self-reliant big kids who are cooperative and connected to their parents, teachers, siblings, and peers.
- Print length432 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherScribner
- Publication dateJanuary 10, 2017
- Dimensions5.5 x 1 x 8.38 inches
- ISBN-10150113163X
- ISBN-13978-1501131639
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Editorial Reviews
From School Library Journal
Review
"This helpful gem of a book guides parents and other caregivers to tune in to the internal worlds of young children to allow their minds to be seen and respected. With practical suggestions and useful illustrations, the authors clearly convey these important steps to guiding our children's development. Cultivating such mindsight for our youth is essential to creating a kinder and more resilient next generation."--Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. Author, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human and Executive Director, Mindsight Institute
"Faber and King have done the impossible! This guide to how to talk so little kids will listen is BRILLIANT. Every parent needs to read this book because it teaches skills that are solidly based on research. The book is magnificent."--John Gottman, author of Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
“Relatable and authentic… [Faber’s and King’s] creative ideas will help parents feel they are not alone in dealing with little runaways, arguments over tooth brushing, tattling, and numerous child-rearing dilemmas.’”--Publishers Weekly
"Wonderful...reader-friendly [and] a truly indispensable book for parents and for anyone else who interacts with young children.”--Work and Family Life
About the Author
Julie King is the author, along with Joanna Faber, of the book, How To Talk When Kids Won't Listen, as well as the bestselling book, How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, which has been translated into 22 languages worldwide. Julie and Joanna created the companion app, HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, as well as the app Parenting Hero. Julie has been educating and supporting parents since 1995. In addition to consulting with individual parents and couples, she speaks and leads workshops online and in-person for schools, nonprofits, businesses and parent groups across the US and internationally. Julie received her AB from Princeton University and a JD from Yale Law School. She lives with her husband in the San Francisco Bay Area where they are visited often by their her three grown children. Visit her at JulieKing.org, on Facebook @FaberandKing, or on Instagram @howtotalk.forparents.
Product details
- Publisher : Scribner; Illustrated edition (January 10, 2017)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 432 pages
- ISBN-10 : 150113163X
- ISBN-13 : 978-1501131639
- Item Weight : 13.6 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.5 x 1 x 8.38 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,215 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #8 in Popular Child Psychology
- #10 in Baby & Toddler Parenting
- #97 in Personal Transformation Self-Help
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors
Julie King is the co-author, with Joanna Faber, of the new book How To Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, & other Challenges of Childhood, as well as the best selling book, How To Talk So LITTLE Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, which has been translated into 22 languages world-wide. She and Joanna also collaborated on the companion app HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, and the app Parenting Hero.
Julie leads workshops in person and online, consults with parents of children ages two to teens by phone and video, and speaks publicly to schools, businesses and parent groups across the United States and internationally. She received her AB from Princeton University and a JD from Yale Law School. Julie and her husband live in the San Francisco Bay Area, where they are visited now and then by their three grown children. Visit her website at www.julieking.org, on Facebook @faberandking, or in Instagram @HowToTalk.forParents.
Joanna Faber is the coauthor, with Julie King, of the book, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, & Other Challenges of Childhood, as well as the best-selling book, How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7, which has been translated into 22 languages world-wide. She and Julie also created the app HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, a companion to their book, as well as the app Parenting Hero. Joanna writes, gives lectures and leads workshops in the U.S. and internationally. Visit Joanna and Julie at HowToTalkSoLittleKidswillListen.com or on Facebook: @faberandking.
Joanna has a Master’s degree in Special Education and taught bilingual special education students in West Harlem for ten years. She is the daughter of internationally acclaimed, best-selling author and parent educator Adele Faber. She contributed heavily to her mother’s award-winning book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn, with her front line experience in the classroom. She also wrote an afterword for the thirtieth anniversary edition of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk.
She and her husband raised three sons in the Hudson Valley region of New York, along with dogs, cats, and an assortment of chickens.
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Reviewed in the United States on April 29, 2021
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How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen is full of great, doable advice that is general enough for any situation, but with specific examples so that you know exactly what the authors are trying to explain. The real-life examples could easily have come from my family. For example, the child who wants something that fell into a crack in his car seat and it is inaccessible to him and to me, the driver. Joanna and Julie give great advice on how to respond to difficult situations with little kids that could easily cause a major meltdown.
For example, when the thing falls into the crack in the car seat and I can’t reach it, in the past my child would start yelling and screaming and then move into a full-on tantrum. I always felt that I had two choices:
1: I could pull over and stop, get out of the car, open the door where his car seat is, and retrieve the thing. That would stop the tantrum before it starts, but it would teach him that he is welcome to have his way whenever he threatens me with a tantrum.
Or, 2: I could not get the thing, tell him to live with it for the 10 minutes (or whatever) until we get to where we are going. That response would surely invite crying escalating, into a full-on, inconsolable tantrum as the ride went on. I would have to listen to the screaming for the whole ride and then deal with it when we got to where we are going.
Julie and Joanna suggest a great third response: agree with my child that the thing is really important. Tell him that I wish I could reach the car seat to retrieve it. Then really get dramatic with it: talk about having a button on the dashboard that I could just push and a hundred of those things would magically appear! And then ask what we could do with a hundred of those things, until my child is so caught up in the fantasy that he has forgotten how much he wants the thing and we get to where we are going safe, sound, and happy. I’ve actually had to do this a number of times since reading the book. My child’s response still amazes me every time!
It sounds like magic, but it’s not. It is a way of listening to your child and validating his/her experience. How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen gives lots of ideas, stories and examples of how to do this in any number of difficult situations. I do want to be clear, this isn’t magic, and sometimes even the best skills don’t produce sunny results. But more often than not, as a result of the skills I was able to pick up from this book, I can at least head off tantrums and other bad behavior before it starts, even if my child isn’t all smiles.
Top reviews from other countries

This book has really useful tools for problem solving with children but sadly a lot of the tools require the child to be verbal and/or literate. Often the solution to most conflicts is to sit down after the event and write down a list of ways to resolve the problems and the agree between you and your child the best course of action. Sounds like a good way to resolve issues but pretty much impossible with a 2 year old. It even suggests drawing pictures about feelings but again, my toddler's drawings are just swiggly lines, he doesnt try to draw objects.
The books suggests naming feelings and not dismissing your child's feelings. These have been useful just now but there are no other tools in this book to actually help whilst a toddler is tantruming. The best advice I have read was in a montessori book is just letting them ride it out, keep them safe, dont let them harm others. You will know when they have finished as they tend to let out a sigh and move on.
I'm glad that I have read the book now as I feel I have tools I can use as he grows older but for my current predicament of a tantruming toddler , I'm afraid I have not found any quick fixes.

I bought the kindle edition on a whim because our toddlers just turned 2 and the book was just £2.50.
Let me tell you, I'm just about 50 pages in, and have already used two tips from the book.
First we ran out of bananas. I was looking at a complete meltdown and in reaction I used one of the first things mentioned in the book: Write a shopping list. My husband thought I was crazy, but within seconds meltdown was averted, and my daughter was just happily pointing at the word Banana and my bad drawing on our list. Next day, another meltdown because breakfast wasn't ready fast enough. So I went all over the top, just like the book recommended. "Noooooo breakfast isn't done yet! And we really need that bread! Oh noooo look at this I'm almost done!"
Meltdown stopped, my daughter just looked at me as if I'd grown a second head, then again happily waited until food was ready.
I have also noticed I stopped asking my daughters so many questions. I just make statements. Instead of "Did you hurt yourself? What's going on?" I just say "Oh that has hurt!" and then listen to them for a second. Even that slight change in my behaviour makes such a big difference in the way our twins are reacting and dealing with things, just like the book says.
All in all, it is really easy to read, and gives great tips on how to deal with small people. I am so happy I bought it. Completely recommended.



if you're a mom,a dad,or even a teacher do yourself a favor and get this book! the advice is sheer brilliance,its practical ,really works (like nothing else does) is psychologically sound,and not very hard. I have a reading partner for this book-its that important! (If you have found my review helpful, I'd really appreciate if you'd click the "Helpful" button. Thanks so much for reading! )