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Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know Hardcover – September 10, 2019

by Malcolm Gladwell (Author)

4.4 22,970 ratings

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Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Revisionist History and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Outliers, offers a powerful examination of our interactions with strangers—and why they often go wrong.

A Best Book of the Year: The Financial Times, Bloomberg, Chicago Tribune, and Detroit Free Press

How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to one another that isn’t true?

Talking to Strangers is a classically Gladwellian intellectual adventure, a challenging and controversial excursion through history, psychology, and scandals taken straight from the news. He revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, the suicide of Sylvia Plath, the Jerry Sandusky pedophilia scandal at Penn State University, and the death of Sandra Bland—throwing our understanding of these and other stories into doubt.

Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don’t know. And because we don’t know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world. In his first book since his #1 bestseller David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell has written a gripping guidebook for troubled times.

Length

400
Pages
Language

EN
English
Publisher

Little, Brown and Company
Publication date

2019
September 10
Dimensions

5.8 x 1.5 x 8.3
inches
ISBN-10

0316478520
ISBN-13

978-0316478526
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Popular Highlights in this book

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You believe someone not because you have no doubts about them. Belief is not the absence of doubt. You believe someone because you don’t have enough doubts about them.
Highlighted by 11,469 Kindle readers
We have a default to truth: our operating assumption is that the people we are dealing with are honest.
Highlighted by 9,805 Kindle readers
The people who were right about Hitler were those who knew the least about him personally. The people who were wrong about Hitler were the ones who had talked with him for hours.
Highlighted by 7,536 Kindle readers
The issue with spies is not that there is something brilliant about them. It is that there is something wrong with us.
Highlighted by 5,734 Kindle readers

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Talking to Strangers is a must-read...I love this book... Reading it will actually change not just how you see strangers, but how you look at yourself, the news--the world...Reading this book changed me."―Oprah Winfrey, O, The Oprah Magazine

"Powerful advice on truly getting to know others...Gladwell brilliantly argues that we should stop assuming, realize no one's transparent and understand that behavior is tied to unseen circumstances."―People, Book of the Week

"Gladwell has again delivered a compelling, conversation-starting read...At a time when the world feels intractably polarized, a book examining the varying ways we misinterpret or fail to communicate with one another could not feel more necessary...With a mix of reporting, research and a deft narrative hand, Gladwell illuminates these examples with the page-turning urgency of a paperback thriller."―Chris Barton, Los Angeles Times

"Mr. Gladwell's towering success rests on the moment when the skeptic starts to think that maybe we're wrong about everything and maybe, just maybe, this Gladwell guy is onto something...Talking to Strangers is weightier than his previous titles."―Amy Chozick, New York Times

"Gladwell uses compelling real-world examples to show the how and why behind our interactions with folks we're trying to understand."
―Rhett Power, Forbes

"Gladwell's case studies are thrilling...Chock-full of gripping anecdotes from the recent and forgotten past. He uses these riveting stories to offer up bite-size observations about how we engage with strangers."―Maggie Taft, Booklist

"Another Gladwell tour de force...intellectually stimulating...Readers expecting another everything-you-think-you-know-is-wrong page-turner will not be disappointed."―Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"Both fascinating and topical...A thoughtful treatise...Gladwell writes in his signature colorful, fluid, and accessible prose."―Publishers Weekly

"Gladwell interviews brilliant people, generates powerful insights, writes like an angel, and has earned a massive and admiring audience. He has a keen eye and a witty flair and he's one of the best observationalists of a generation. Gladwell is a big-picture thinker who helps us make sense of the human condition."―Bob Brisco, WebMD Magazine

"As always, with his narrative gift and eye for the telling detail, Gladwell peppers his work with unforgettable facts... He has immense gifts--a probing, original, questioning mind, an ability to dig up information others haven't considered and tie it to a broader point. He has a narrative skill nonpareil."―Stephen Galloway, Hollywood Reporter

"Engaging...Mr. Gladwell [presents] a mountain of quirky anecdotes and interesting research about our blunders with strangers, and why we make them...It's fascinating to peek at these incidents through Mr. Gladwell's psychological lens."―Leigh Anne Focareta, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

"Inspiring and motivating...Gladwell is a wunderkind and a saint...He takes on racial division, incompatible perspectives, and emotional dissonance without ever sounding preaching or proud. The stories make you think."―John Brandon, Daily Beast

"Superb writing. Masterful structure."―Pilita Clark, Financial Times (UK)

About the Author

Malcom Gladwell is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers: The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, What the Dog Saw, David and Goliath, Talking to Strangers, and The Bomber Mafia. He is also the cofounder of Pushkin Industries, an audiobook and podcast production company. He was born in England, grew up in rural Ontario, and now lives in New York.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown and Company; Illustrated edition (September 10, 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 400 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316478520
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316478526
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.05 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.8 x 1.45 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #18,345 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #35 in Medical Social Psychology & Interactions
- #57 in Popular Social Psychology & Interactions
- #85 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)

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4.4 22,970 ratings

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Malcolm Gladwell has been a staff writer at The New Yorker since 1996. He is the author of The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, and What the Dog Saw. Prior to joining The New Yorker, he was a reporter at the Washington Post. Gladwell was born in England and grew up in rural Ontario. He now lives in New York.

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Abba

Must Read

Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2023

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The introduction is an incident simply narrated and we forget about it, until we are reminded of it in chapter 12 where the whole book was slowly preparing us to learn absorb and understand why it was mentioned and why it happened at same time. This is the genius of Gladwell!
I have read many of Malcolm Gladwell books, (The tipping Point, Blink, Outliers) luckily, he has maintained the same level in all his books to date. They are always page turners, revealing, interesting, captivating, and compel the reader to want to learn more about the topic and never boring informative.
An amazing technique used by the author is the short stories that are the bait that clings you to the book and makes the scientific theories, tables, graphs and facts that lie in the coming page exciting and fun to read as they come in with the moral, and science DEDUCED from the story.
The theories don’t come in boring jargon but in real life events with real people, names, places, and events that end with a scientific conclusion that is a piece of the puzzle to get to the final conclusion. Such as giving the famous show FRIENDS as an example, or his father reading Charles Dickens to him as a kid.
The style is BRILLIANT! going about with short chapters telling us an amazing story with the science on the margin.
No matter how much you can benefit from the book, and the load of information, high or low, the bottom line is that you will enjoy it. I encourage reading, it will open your eyes on the old prevailing beliefs that have led us to wrongly judge people and how bad we are at detecting lies.
Malcolm Gladwell’s books are 3 in 1: they are Biographic, Scientific Novels!
On the conundrum of talking to strangers:
“To assume the best about another is the trait that has created modern society. Those occasions when our trusting nature gets violated are tragic. But the alternative—to abandon trust as a defense against predation and deception—is worse.”

Reviewed in the United States on October 17, 2023

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The the title is a bit misleading as the book doesn’t talk about how to talk to strangers rather the difficulty of the process it’s still a great social psychology read and worth the time. He choose good case studies to reflect what he has to say

3 people found this helpful

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One Day at a Time

Great Book!

Reviewed in the United States on December 6, 2023

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My adult son recommended this book and it is a good read. Would recommend.

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Janette Fuller

You Can't Give Strangers the Benefit of the Doubt

Reviewed in the United States on September 8, 2023

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Malcolm Gladwell presents case studies that illustrate how we can make mistakes when communicating with strangers. We tend to think that everyone we meet has the same mindset as we do.

"We think we can transform the stranger, without cost or sacrifice, into the familiar and the known, And we can't."

This book convinced me to rethink how I communicate with strangers. First impressions are not always accurate and it takes time and experience to really know how a person thinks. You can't automatically give strangers the benefit of the doubt. You have to be in investigative mode and collect information over time. Mr. Gladwell is not encouraging the reader to be paranoid, just be smart.

The author was especially interested in the case of Sandra Bland. This is a heartbreaking story where a young black woman had an unfortunate encounter with a Texas state trooper. This situation shows how fast things can spiral out of control and have dire consequences.

This book presents important lessons that everyone should consider and think about. I know that I have made mistakes in the past about the character and personality of new acquaintances. After reading this book, I will talk less and listen more carefully...and proceed slowly. My future depends on it.

12 people found this helpful

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BILL HARING

CLEVERLY PRESENTED; BUT NOT PARTICULARLY ENLIGHTENING

Reviewed in the United States on September 17, 2019

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This book has its moments, but suffers frequently in my opinion substantively..
We begin with “Default To Truth” a fanciful phrase for what is taught in Psych I.
People generally believe what they want to believe..to which psychiatrists would
add..what they have to believe..We want to believe that people are telling us the
truth, or, more precisely, what they understand to be true..Nothing new here at all.
This easily explains in general terms the examples of Hitler, the Queen of Cuba, and
numerous other situations explored..The additional stories of judges assessing bail and
the Sandusky case, are clothed in a legal overlay of rights and exposures to liability, with
down the road exposure to charges of defamation particularly as to Sandusky, which the
author largely ignores..Both as to Sandusky and Brock Turner and Emily Doe, we are dealing
with judges and juries making determinations not because anybody ultimately knew the
truth about strangers but because the legal system demanded an outcome..whether true or
just or not..
The Amanda Knox illustration teaches us next to nothing..about dealing with or believing strangers..
Knox was unlikely a murderess from the get go..But she was great tabloid fodder..To label her as immature
and flaky would be an act of kindness..She was young and beautiful..That always gets things going..But the
“transparency” adopted as described in the behavior of the lead prosecutor and his off the wall rationalization
for a conviction reflects stupidity in the extreme..The reference to television in general and “Friends” in particular
says more about television actors exaggerating facial and body language to make sure the audience “gets it” than
any principle called “transparency.”
We come back to the initial example of Sandra Bland and Officer Brian Encinitas..Without detailing, here we have a perfect storm
for disconnects because aside from all that is stated on the pages, most significant to me, to start and end with, is an adversarial
situation, where a ticket happy traffic patrolman in a Texas outpost confronts an educated Black woman, where the strangers
talk to each other with little to no communication..
Yes..believing strangers is the more comfortable way to carry on the business of life..And it soothes our egos to firmly assess
our persona as unworthy of being duped or treated in any way aside from above board..The price we pay seems quite small

23 people found this helpful

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Michael Yacci

on time and as advertised

Reviewed in the United States on November 18, 2023

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Thanks -- quick delivery. Book was as advertised. I would purchase from them again.

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Amazon Customer

Content

Reviewed in India on September 29, 2023

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Uniqueness of author in various subjects is retained here to

Ashfaque

Hard and vague

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 27, 2023

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Bought after a recommendation from a friend. It is a little bit vague and does not catch attention. so I found it a bit hard. but it might interest others.

Tim Dumble

A book for divided times

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 20, 2020

Verified Purchase

This is a thought provoking read which is greater than the sum of its parts.In parts it appears simplistic but as whole it has an important message to impart.

The underlying premise of this prescient work is that the evolution of humans as a social species has left us as too trusting and in a poor position when it comes to deciphering the motives of others.

Gladwell uses the concepts of:‘default to truth,’ transparency’, behavioural ‘mismatching’ and ‘coupling’ to provide a psychological framework to our inability to understand the internal motivations of strangers.

Particularly compelling is the notion of coupling and its deployment in the aggressive policing tactics recently linked to tragic cases in the US and UK.The misappropriation of strategies lifted from one context without consideration to cultural or social factors and subsequent deployment elsewhere as a panacea is an increasingly common problem in public administration - from policing to education.

The counter productive use of enhanced interrogation procedures in connection with terrorism in procuring reliable witness evidence is also telling.The evidence relating to the influence of alcohol on the amygdala and memory is chilling particularly when considered in the contextual minefield of sexual consent.

This is a call to view truth as fragile and to treat strangers with respect and caution - a valuable message for fractious times.

5 people found this helpful

Vinie

Livre OK

Reviewed in France on September 4, 2023

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Cambridgereader

Malcolm G has missed a trick

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 10, 2021

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Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of Malcolm Gladwell, his books and talks.

But Talking to Strangers has missed a big trick. Gladwell introduces, discusses and then labours 'Default to Truth' as to why people either miss what is in front of them or dismiss tells on important errors. What Gladwell has missed is the motivators to look the other way, otherwise know as 'the cost of truth' - what is the cost to your standing, self esteem, reputation to facing everyone to tell them they are not just mistaken but actually wrong in their view, their assessment, in their estimation? For almost everyone - fighting for your truth is one level of commitment, fighting for someone else's truth - is a whole different level. Most folk will leave sleeping dogs to lie than risk so much. Even more so if you're just suspicious rather than have direct irrefutable evidence - the blow back would be terrible if your impression is wrong.

There is always a cost to truth, Gladwell's book would have been even better exploring this and investigating why are so many are happy to live the lie, and so few live in truth....

21 people found this helpful

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