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Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know Hardcover – September 10, 2019

by Malcolm Gladwell (Author)

4.4 23,710 ratings

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Malcolm Gladwell, host of the podcast Revisionist History and author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Outliers, offers a powerful examination of our interactions with strangers—and why they often go wrong.

A Best Book of the Year: The Financial Times, Bloomberg, Chicago Tribune, and Detroit Free Press

How did Fidel Castro fool the CIA for a generation? Why did Neville Chamberlain think he could trust Adolf Hitler? Why are campus sexual assaults on the rise? Do television sitcoms teach us something about the way we relate to one another that isn’t true?

Talking to Strangers is a classically Gladwellian intellectual adventure, a challenging and controversial excursion through history, psychology, and scandals taken straight from the news. He revisits the deceptions of Bernie Madoff, the trial of Amanda Knox, the suicide of Sylvia Plath, the Jerry Sandusky pedophilia scandal at Penn State University, and the death of Sandra Bland—throwing our understanding of these and other stories into doubt.

Something is very wrong, Gladwell argues, with the tools and strategies we use to make sense of people we don’t know. And because we don’t know how to talk to strangers, we are inviting conflict and misunderstanding in ways that have a profound effect on our lives and our world. In his first book since his #1 bestseller David and Goliath, Malcolm Gladwell has written a gripping guidebook for troubled times.

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Editorial Reviews

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"Talking to Strangers is a must-read...I love this book... Reading it will actually change not just how you see strangers, but how you look at yourself, the news--the world...Reading this book changed me."―Oprah Winfrey, O, The Oprah Magazine

"Powerful advice on truly getting to know others...Gladwell brilliantly argues that we should stop assuming, realize no one's transparent and understand that behavior is tied to unseen circumstances."―People, Book of the Week

"Gladwell has again delivered a compelling, conversation-starting read...At a time when the world feels intractably polarized, a book examining the varying ways we misinterpret or fail to communicate with one another could not feel more necessary...With a mix of reporting, research and a deft narrative hand, Gladwell illuminates these examples with the page-turning urgency of a paperback thriller."―Chris Barton, Los Angeles Times

"Mr. Gladwell's towering success rests on the moment when the skeptic starts to think that maybe we're wrong about everything and maybe, just maybe, this Gladwell guy is onto something...Talking to Strangers is weightier than his previous titles."―Amy Chozick, New York Times

"Gladwell uses compelling real-world examples to show the how and why behind our interactions with folks we're trying to understand."
―Rhett Power, Forbes

"Gladwell's case studies are thrilling...Chock-full of gripping anecdotes from the recent and forgotten past. He uses these riveting stories to offer up bite-size observations about how we engage with strangers."―Maggie Taft, Booklist

"Another Gladwell tour de force...intellectually stimulating...Readers expecting another everything-you-think-you-know-is-wrong page-turner will not be disappointed."―Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

"Both fascinating and topical...A thoughtful treatise...Gladwell writes in his signature colorful, fluid, and accessible prose."―Publishers Weekly

"Gladwell interviews brilliant people, generates powerful insights, writes like an angel, and has earned a massive and admiring audience. He has a keen eye and a witty flair and he's one of the best observationalists of a generation. Gladwell is a big-picture thinker who helps us make sense of the human condition."―Bob Brisco, WebMD Magazine

"As always, with his narrative gift and eye for the telling detail, Gladwell peppers his work with unforgettable facts... He has immense gifts--a probing, original, questioning mind, an ability to dig up information others haven't considered and tie it to a broader point. He has a narrative skill nonpareil."―Stephen Galloway, Hollywood Reporter

"Engaging...Mr. Gladwell [presents] a mountain of quirky anecdotes and interesting research about our blunders with strangers, and why we make them...It's fascinating to peek at these incidents through Mr. Gladwell's psychological lens."―Leigh Anne Focareta, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

"Inspiring and motivating...Gladwell is a wunderkind and a saint...He takes on racial division, incompatible perspectives, and emotional dissonance without ever sounding preaching or proud. The stories make you think."―John Brandon, Daily Beast

"Superb writing. Masterful structure."―Pilita Clark, Financial Times (UK)

About the Author

Malcom Gladwell is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers: The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, What the Dog Saw, David and Goliath, Talking to Strangers, and The Bomber Mafia. He is also the cofounder of Pushkin Industries, an audiobook and podcast production company. He was born in England, grew up in rural Ontario, and now lives in New York.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Little, Brown and Company; Illustrated edition (September 10, 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 400 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0316478520
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0316478526
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 1.45 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #22,165 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #6 in Sociology of Social Theory
- #72 in Popular Social Psychology & Interactions
- #91 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)

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4.4 23,710 ratings

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Malcolm Gladwell

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Malcolm Gladwell has been a staff writer at The New Yorker since 1996. He is the author of The Tipping Point, Blink, Outliers, and What the Dog Saw. Prior to joining The New Yorker, he was a reporter at the Washington Post. Gladwell was born in England and grew up in rural Ontario. He now lives in New York.

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Customers find the book insightful and informative. They describe it as an engaging read that presents important lessons. Readers praise the writing style as easy to understand, engaging, and clear. The stories are well-organized and documented. However, some feel the pacing is not profound enough, with dramatic filler without sufficient substance.

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Thought provoking Readability Writing style Story quality Author Pacing

370 customers mention "Thought provoking"313 positive57 negative

Customers find the book insightful and informative. They find it compelling and a valuable experience that presents important lessons. The story is thorough and contains detailed information when appropriate.

"Truly thought provoking. Surprisingly easy read considering the topic. Walked away reconsidering my internal dialogue and knee jerk reactions...." Read more

"...It's still worth the time. The point is a good one to learn, but not Gladwell at his best." Read more

"Very introspective into a lot of the societal problems that seem to be occurring more frequently...." Read more

"...Quite eye-opening. Written in a style that draws your interest and a desire to know more." Read more

219 customers mention "Readability"205 positive14 negative

Customers find the book engaging and worth reading. They describe it as an interesting read that tackles complicated issues. The book is considered an important read for both young and old readers.

"...This one set a new standard for the format. It was captivating to listen to - masterfully done in the same style as his podcast...." Read more

"...you don’t entirely agree with all the conclusions, it’s definitely worth the read" Read more

"...from what i expected from encountering the title, but enjoyed reading it from beginning to end...." Read more

"...Malcom Gladwell’s Talking to Strangers is a good book, covering many dark topics regarding human interactions...." Read more

160 customers mention "Writing style"122 positive38 negative

Customers find the writing style engaging and easy to read. They appreciate the author's clear explanations and research backing his arguments. The book is described as a quick, easy read with a lot of explanation and nuance. While some readers find the topics bold yet convincing, others describe it as an engaging page-turner.

"Truly thought provoking. Surprisingly easy read considering the topic. Walked away reconsidering my internal dialogue and knee jerk reactions...." Read more

"...I love his ability to convey a story, delve into data and nuance while maintaining interest, and perfectly make a sharp and often novel point by the..." Read more

"...It’s a quick read and it is clear, and it really needed to be given the entire point of the book is about failures to communicate...." Read more

"...What is the point??His examples are just logically confusing as to what point he's trying to make, and I finished the book no wiser..." Read more

54 customers mention "Story quality"39 positive15 negative

Customers find the stories compelling and well-organized. They appreciate the examples used to make points. The events are well-documented and life-changing for those involved. The arc of the book is purposeful as the narrative is bookended by a notable police officer. While some chapters are great, others lack depth, like in other Gladwell books.

"...The stories were told brilliantly and I enjoyed listening to all of them, but they were told in service of a thesis that did not, in my opinion,..." Read more

"...He does such a great job of using engaging stories to convey his points that you often forget that he is building towards an overall thesis...." Read more

"...is an indicator of guilt or innocence - yet the overall premise of the book falls short, as Malcolm depends on many non-sequitur arguments to..." Read more

"...Gladwell's accessible writing style and engaging anecdotes make the book an enjoyable read, while his insights and ideas will leave readers thinking..." Read more

29 customers mention "Author"24 positive5 negative

Customers enjoy Malcolm Gladwell's writing style. They find his books insightful and thought-provoking. They describe him as an engaging and skilled journalist.

"Couldn't put it down once started. I liked how the author addresses serious issues that lead to tragic events...." Read more

"...What he is is a skilled and impassioned journalist...." Read more

"...That is to say, I don’t. Malcolm Gladwell is inspiring. His essay style writing on controversial topics is bold yet convincing...." Read more

"I found this to be yet another insightful, and well researched, Malcolm Gladwell book...." Read more

41 customers mention "Pacing"3 positive38 negative

Customers find the pacing of the book slow and lacking substance. They feel the subject matter is depressing, the book oversimplifies stories, and it fails to engage them in thought outside the opening chapters. Many readers also mention that the book is repetitive at times.

"...were some pages and chapters I had to skip because the details were so raw and vivid...." Read more

"...many passages, dialogs and understanding... sometimes story telling is not that detailed while it can make you bored, however the book is really..." Read more

"...First, I think the book was repetitious at times...." Read more

"I skipped a lot of this book. The details were disturbing and then boring. A lot of words to describe something we all know...." Read more

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Kimberly Stefanick
Excellent read
Reviewed in the United States on November 15, 2024
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Truly thought provoking. Surprisingly easy read considering the topic. Walked away reconsidering my internal dialogue and knee jerk reactions. Highly recommend.

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No earth-shattering insight, but entertaining with caveats
Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2019
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First, I'm an avid Gladwell fan. I love his work. I've read every book, can't wait for each Revisionist History episode (his podcast), and read his works in various publications. I love his ability to convey a story, delve into data and nuance while maintaining interest, and perfectly make a sharp and often novel point by the end. I purchased the audiobook at the recommendation of his podcast after listening to the sample he posted and was not disappointed in the production quality. I'm an Audible member and always buy audiobooks. This one set a new standard for the format. It was captivating to listen to - masterfully done in the same style as his podcast. However, (SPOILERS - stop now) that sharp point so notorious in his work was missing in this book. The storytelling was great, but the premise (that we cannot understand others, discern their intentions, or understand their context as well as we think we can or at all) was not the profound perspective shift I've grown to love about Gladwell. Yes, there were some interesting points made, like that overly paranoid behavior with strangers is counterproductive as an alternative to a "default of truth" and that we tend to judge others as transparent 1-dimensional people we can read clearly, but do not believe the same judgement should be applied to ourselves. The stories were told brilliantly and I enjoyed listening to all of them, but they were told in service of a thesis that did not, in my opinion, justify such arduous dissection. All of that, to be honest, still would have gotten this book 5 stars from me - but, I was left with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth in the way some stories were portrayed, especially when it comes to Brock Turner and Sandra Bland. For example, with Brock Turner, Gladwell uses this to make the point that there's a fine line of consent. Men and women see things differently. Under the influence we see things differently. A lot is left up to interpretation. However, in this case, there was no "miscommunication" and a mismatch of signals interpreted as what was consent or not... the victim was literally unconscious. There are millions of stories that could be used to show the nuance of communication and interpretation in consent - some involving celebrities... this was not one. I get the points these stories were designed to illustrate, but I felt they were used for their notoriety, not their ability to underscore the point. Gladwell's podcast episode on a police-involved shooting illustrated this book's point better than the somewhat clumsy and also disconcerting analysis of the Sandra Bland case. I still say this book is entertaining and extremely well done (of course it is; it's Gladwell). It's still worth the time. The point is a good one to learn, but not Gladwell at his best.

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Bradley Bevers
Worth Reading, An Important Book - Ignore Negative Reviews and Read This
Reviewed in the United States on September 12, 2019
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Malcolm Gladwell is the best non-fiction writer working write now. He does such a great job of using engaging stories to convey his points that you often forget that he is building towards an overall thesis. This book is no exception . . . while I think that this one may be more controversial than many of his other books, it's just as important.

Gladwell boldly takes on two of the most complex social issues we face today, sexual assault and racial discrimination. He asks an important question, which is that maybe we don't understand strangers as well as we think we do. Maybe, the media makes assumptions to fit their narrative, and the public quickly goes along with it. We assume that we are able to discern other's motives and reasoning, even though the vast majority of the scientific evidence states the opposite.

I live and work about 15 miles away from where the Sandra Bland arrest occurred. I had no idea that the book would focus on this when I pre-ordered it, but was interested to see what he had to say. In my opinion, he gave a very balanced account. He goes beyond the 'bad apple cop' vs. 'victim who didn't act properly' debate and exposes a much bigger issue in our criminal justice system and our world, namely that we don't know as much as we think we do. I'm betting that he will get criticized because of this, but its important to note that by pointing out larger societal problems with how we train and expect officers to behave, it does not diminish personal responsibility. In fact, by writing books like this that expose problems to the system for all, I believe it increases personal responsibility for those who have authority.

My main purpose in writing this review is not not to persuade those who loved Gladwell's previous books (like me) - they will buy it. Nor is it to persuade non-readers to read this, as they likely won't. But if you are a reader who reads a negative review about and decides to dismiss the book without reading it, I think you are making a mistake. Assume the best in Gladwell, just as he advocates in this book, and read with an open mind - you will learn something, and you will enjoy doing it. Be sure you read the endnotes as well, some great stuff there too.

PS - The most shocking chapter to me was the one on the Sandusky case. I had never gone beyond the narrative portrayed by the media and was very surprised to read about how things played out here. Will be picking up at least one book on this case to read based on this chapter.

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Virgil Smith
Can’t stop reading it
Reviewed in the United States on October 7, 2024
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The author describes in detail some examples where experienced people who should be experts have misjudged and trusted people they shouldn’t have. Quite eye-opening. Written in a style that draws your interest and a desire to know more.

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Trigger Warnings Galore
Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2024
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Unfortunately, my Executive Board chose this as our first Book Club Book. I’ve ready other books by Malcolm Gladwell and was excited by the choice. Then I started reading it. I’m not sure he could’ve chosen more horrible examples to illustrate the purposes in this book. Was it intentional for shock value? To be provocative? If you are sensitive to suicide, rape, child abuse, white collar crimes, torture, or Hitler - remove this from your cart. There were some pages and chapters I had to skip because the details were so raw and vivid. I would sit back and say, was that really necessary to get the point he was aiming for across. My answer is a firm “no.” In a world filled with negativity, this book falls right in line instead of providing hope and positive insight. I highlighted maybe three sentences in this book as takeaways and I hope I can forget all the rest of it. What a downer and very triggering. Even the formatting was off-putting, with the chapters just sort of ending in the middle of a point, and picking up later in a chapter. Hugely disappointed with this one.

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Miri
excellent read
Reviewed in the United States on October 3, 2024
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Very introspective into a lot of the societal problems that seem to be occurring more frequently. Even if you don’t entirely agree with all the conclusions, it’s definitely worth the read

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Susan R
Gladwell is always excellent
Reviewed in Canada on November 20, 2024
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He writes so clearly and persuasively. Always a mind opening read.

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carlos garza
Libro Hablandoa extraños
Reviewed in Mexico on April 21, 2024
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Buenisimo como todos los libros del autor. una introspeccion en el arte de escudriñar a la gente y porque no sabemos si dicen la verdad o no entre otras cosas. muy recomendable

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Viviane
I was great
Reviewed in Brazil on December 23, 2022
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Kids should read and discuss this type of book in class, that would change the next generation for better. Necessary read.

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Giuseppe P
So compelling reading
Reviewed in Italy on November 15, 2024
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Another great book of Malcolm Gladwell that gives you a very interesting point of view about what we consider true, and it couldn't be so.

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Brecon
Malcolm Gladwell's exploration of human interaction
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 3, 2024
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Talking to Strangers is another compelling book by Malcolm Gladwell that delves into the complexities of human interaction, particularly with people we don't know. Gladwell examines how our preconceived notions, cultural biases, and psychological quirks can affect our ability to accurately perceive and interact with strangers.

Key themes and concepts:

The default assumption: The idea that we instinctively assume strangers are friendly and trustworthy until proven otherwise.
The stranger effect: The phenomenon of how our perception of strangers can be skewed by our preconceived notions and stereotypes.
The power of context: How the environment and circumstances can influence our interactions with strangers.
Examples explored in the book:

The case of Sandra Bland, a black woman who died in police custody after a traffic stop
The phenomenon of "stranger danger" and its impact on our interactions with strangers
The challenges of communicating effectively across cultural boundaries
Why this book is important:

Understanding human interaction: Talking to Strangers provides valuable insights into the complexities of human relationships, particularly with those we don't know.
Improving communication: The book offers practical advice on how to communicate more effectively with strangers and avoid misunderstandings.
Challenging our biases: Gladwell encourages us to question our preconceived notions and stereotypes about strangers.
If you're interested in learning more about human psychology, communication, and the challenges of interacting with strangers, Talking to Strangers is a thought-provoking and informative read.

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Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know Hardcover – September 10, 2019

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5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent read

4.0 out of 5 stars No earth-shattering insight, but entertaining with caveats

5.0 out of 5 stars Worth Reading, An Important Book - Ignore Negative Reviews and Read This

5.0 out of 5 stars Can’t stop reading it

3.0 out of 5 stars Trigger Warnings Galore

5.0 out of 5 stars excellent read

Top reviews from other countries

5.0 out of 5 stars Gladwell is always excellent

5.0 out of 5 stars Libro Hablandoa extraños

5.0 out of 5 stars I was great

5.0 out of 5 stars So compelling reading

5.0 out of 5 stars Malcolm Gladwell's exploration of human interaction

Excellent read

No earth-shattering insight, but entertaining with caveats

Worth Reading, An Important Book - Ignore Negative Reviews and Read This

Can’t stop reading it

Trigger Warnings Galore

excellent read

Gladwell is always excellent

Libro Hablandoa extraños

I was great

So compelling reading

Malcolm Gladwell's exploration of human interaction