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Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success Hardcover – July 24, 2012
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“Levine really comes into her own . . . when she moves beyond child development to concentrate instead on parent development, exploring why we do the misguided things we do, and asking how we must (as we must) change ourselves and behave differently.” (Judith Warner, New York Times Book Review (Editor's Choice))
“Here’s one potentially bright and shiny opportunity for optimism (at least if you take her advice) thanks to one busy and one hope’s wise clinical psychologist. . . . Her insights are fresh . . . look no further for your Beach Book, here it is!” (Psychology Today)
“Powerful text. . . . Parents who want their kids to succeed without compromising their health or losing the joy of learning will be buoyed by Levine’s support, encouragement, and guidance.” (Publishers Weekly)
“An excellent new book.” (Forbes)
“Levine, author of The Price of Privilege, offers practical tips for helping kids relax, cope with the very real demands of adolescence and mature into healthy adults.” (San Jose Mercury News)
“Practical advice for raising well-rounded and successful children. . . . A rethinking of the term ‘success’ provides new insight on how to raise today’s youth.” (Kirkus Reviews)
“A modern guide for the perplexed! First Levine captures a culture which puts competition and social status ahead of character. Then, with a gentle, firm remarkably clear head, she tells parents precisely what to do to bring good sense and respect for children back to parenting.” (Wendy Mogel, PhD, author of The Blessing of a B Minus and The Blessing of a Skinned Knee)
“A fantastic, on-point, desperately needed book! If you have children or care about children or care about the future of this country and the world, read this book.” (Dr. Ned Hallowell, author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness)
“Madeline Levine’s voice is a welcome antidote to the Tiger-Momming of America. [Teach Your Children Well] is packed with smart and savvy advice for raising independent, productive, and well-adjusted young people. Read this book—your kids will thank you.” (Daniel H. Pink, author of Drive and A Whole New Mind)
“With keen insight and telling examples, Levine offers suggestions for adopting a more balanced idea of success that requires changing deeply ingrained habits but is well worth the effort.” (David Elkind, PhD, author of The Hurried Child)
From the Back Cover
Psychologist Madeline Levine brings together cutting-edge research and thirty years of clinical experience to explode once and for all the myth that good grades, high test scores, and college acceptances should define the parenting endgame.
Parents, educators, and the media wring their hands about the plight of America's children and teens—soaring rates of emotional problems, limited coping skills, disengagement from learning and yet there are ways to reverse these disheartening trends. Teach Your Children Well acknowledges that every parent wants successful children. However, until we are clearer about our core values and the parenting choices that are most likely to lead to authentic, and not superficial, success, we will continue to raise exhausted, externally driven, impaired children who believe they are only as good as their last performance. Real success is always an inside job, argues Levine, and is measured not by today's report card but by the people our children become fifteen or twenty years down the line.
Refusing to be diverted by manufactured controversies such as "tiger moms versus coddling moms," Levine confronts the real issues behind the way we push some of our kids to the breaking point while dismissing the talents and interests of many others. She shows us how to shift our focus from the excesses of hyperparenting and the unhealthy reliance on our children for status and meaning to a parenting style that concentrates on both enabling academic success as well as developing a sense of purpose, well-being, connection, and meaning in our children's lives.
Teach Your Children Well is a call to action. And while it takes courage to make the changes we believe in, the time has come, says Levine, to return our overwrought families to a healthier and saner version of themselves.
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why our schooling system only makes matters worse, why it's important to give kids free-play time
and why at this age they seem so interested in the outside world and not much about reflecting
'inside' about their habits or actions.
Some of the stuff I'll need to read again so it sinks in. Interestingly, I'm also listening to an audiobook
"creating innovators" by Tony Wagner. And while that book gives great examples of how put the seed
to make kids innovators... I don't feel I would've gotten as much out of it without Madeline's book -- this
explains the why and what matters the most to kids at each stage.
The reality is that we cannot "give" that type of success to our kids nor should we project our hopes and expectations on them. We can honor the person they are, have an awareness of what the seminal tasks are at each stage of development and coach our kids (and others) to make good choices given a reasonable set of opportunities. And when necessary, watch as they problem-solve and learn to accept failure and mistakes.
It's here where the rubber meets the road - where children get to try in age appropriate and safe ways to see what happens when they make choices or to fix things when they start to slip. Then to feel the satisfaction that comes with resourcefulness and self-confidence, to manage the negative emotions that often accompany such "failures" and collect life experience that will prepare them for the complexities which lie ahead. So many parents get uncomfortable at this stage, myself included. So uncomfortable that they become the fixers or the console-ers who inadvertently foster a false sense of reality or self-esteem, rather than arming kids with tools they need to be accustomed to being imperfect and adaptive in a world full of challenges and changes.
Lisa Dewey Wells
Writer, Consultant, Teacher
Wonder of Children
Read more on my blog, [...]
As a father of two kids I found that Dr. Levine' ideas hit the nail in the head. without complicating the topics with technical stuff she shares cases from her personal and professional life that can easily related to self experiences parenting. Her advice is also encouraging because she insist in not pretending to be perfect parents but to have a clear purpose and a consistent life as parents.