Hey, Reader, before you get to all the biodegradable biographical data below, let me tell you that as of May 2, 2013, I will have a new book out. It's called West of Babylon and it's being published by none other than me. I've got no publisher, no publicist, no marketing department, no regional sales manager. It's just me. (Although my wife DID design the cover, for which she got a $50 Gap gift card.)
West of Babylon is about a once successful rock & roll band that's been together for almost forty years, through thick and thin. (Lately, though, there's been a lot more of the thin.) One of the band members has fallen seriously ill, another wants to break up the group for good, and they decide to take to the road one more time. I think West of Babylon will make you howl and cry at the same time. That's what I was doing as I was writing it.
I hope you will buy, read, enjoy, and then spread the word about West of Babylon. YOU are my advertisers!
And now back to my regularly scheduled bio:
* * * * * * *
Ted Heller: born in, raised in, beaten up in, arrested in, still lives in New York City. I've had three books published: Slab Rat, Funnymen, Pocket Kings. The exact number of books I have written which have NOT been published is known only to God: I myself lost track about twenty novels ago. Or maybe it was twenty-four.
According to the latest data on Amazon, 79.2% of my readers love my books, 10.3% don't, and the remainder really wants to kill me. Oh well. You can't win them all.
I have held many jobs in my life but being an author is my favorite. You get to make your own hours, begin and end when you want, be alone and snap at anybody who interrupts your writing or your napping, and after about thirty years of this you are immune to rejection, bad reviews and lousy sales. WHAT A LIFE!
I have worked at the New York Times as a menial copy boy, in the clothing business, been a messenger, worked in the magazine business (Spy Magazine, Nickelodeon Magazine). I often tell people I was a towel boy at Plato's Retreat in the Seventies but this is not true.
Many of the things I write about are the result of either personal experience or serious daydreaming. Readers and reviewers often say that I make them laugh out loud. I love hearing that! But sometimes the stuff that I write that makes you laugh out loud is stuff that actually happened to me that wasn't so funny at the time. But I guess this is what the creative experience is all about. Maybe. What do I know. I also sometimes hear that characters I've created that are based on me are not likable. My wife and child, though, seem to love me and so do my friends and strangers on the street. So this confuses me.
I invite you, the potential reader, to hop aboard the accident-waiting-to-happen that is my literature. Thank you for coming and please sit back and enjoy the ride.