TEEN VOICES FROM THE HOLY LAND

Prometheus Books

Contents

Introduction

The Palestinian-Israeli conflict has occupied a central place on the world stage for nearly a century. It has served as a source of great pain to the peoples of the region, and the resultant agony has impacted the rest of the world. Even after a political solution has been reached, it may still be a matter of generations before demonization of the "other"-Israeli or Palestinian-is replaced by an ongoing process of humanization. We hope this book will promote greater understanding between Israelis and Palestinians, furthering the process of humanizing the "other." Our hope is for the narratives to spark reflections about the value of commonalities and an appreciation of differences among peoples within our own borders in the United States and across the globe.

Teen Voices from the Holy Land: Who Am I to You? offers a kaleidoscope of verbal and pictorial snapshots of children's lives. Through the voices of children who live in the Middle East, we hope that the reader will enter their lives and gain a deeper understanding of what is occurring in this part of the world. We are confident that these narratives will provide food for thought regarding how people anywhere in the world might take a more active role in promoting the values of peace and mutual understanding embraced by the children in this book.

Many of the children interviewed admit that they have had minimal or no contact with children on "the other side." Most Palestinians have had little contact with Israelis other than with soldiers at checkpoints or with security personnel at airports. Many Israeli teenagers encounter Palestinians only at chance meetings. We hope this book will help introduce the youth of each people to one another, dispelling harmful stereotypes along the way. Additionally, we hope that the reader, while getting to know each teen through his or her portrait, will appreciate the deep humanity residing within each child.

To share a variety of aspects of these children's experiences, we organized the interviews around the following categories: (1) Family Histories and Dynamics; (2) Lives in the Schoolroom; (3) Lives in the Neighborhood; (4) Friendships; (5) Personal Hobbies and Interests; (6) Religious and Spiritual Concerns; (7) Cultural Dynamics; (8) Political Concerns; and (9) Dreams for the Future. Most of the narratives begin with biographical details: the age of the child, where she lives, and her family. Each child was encouraged to speak freely; some focused more on family issues, whereas others spoke in greater detail about school. Some emphasized the friendships in their lives while others talked more freely about their dreams for the future.

In an effort to whet your appetite to read on, we have included some relevant quotations from the children regarding each of the above-mentioned categories.

FAMILY HISTORIES

The reader will find that most of the teenagers are quite open about family matters. Times of intimacy and times of dissension are described, sometimes with poignancy, often with brutal honesty. Yuval's mother is described as "everyone's mom." "When people sleep at my home and wake up in the morning," Yuval says, "they say, 'Good morning, Mom.'" Jad says, "I can't remember an unhappy moment in my family." Khael gives an example of the kind of freedom his father gives him to make his own decisions: "Once I told him that I wanted to become a priest. My father didn't interfere. He just warned me not to make such a decision too quickly." Tal tells of a time when her mother refused to buy a pair of pants for her: "I screamed at her and told her she was a bad mother and that I would not talk with her for the rest of my life. But not-talking-to-my-mom lasted only an hour."

Sibling rivalries are a frequent subject of discussion. Haneen says that "[w]hen it comes to doing work at home, my parents know that I'm the oldest and that I should do more of the work. But when they give presents, they forget that I'm the one with all the responsibilities." Murad echoes this point when he recounts how much responsibility falls to him as the eldest of four children: "[I]t seems that in a family the eldest brother is oppressed." Shir speaks of fighting "about everything" with her brothers. Nofar describes aspects of her relationship with her sister as follows: "I don't listen to a lot of music, and she does. When she puts on music, I scream. She's more involved with her studies, while I'm more interested in socializing."

Some speak of the effect of divorce or the death of a parent on their lives. Ella's dream for the future is simply put: "I would want my mother and father to be together again." Sandy calls her late mother her "ideal person," someone who "could do anything," a woman with a "sixth sense about things." Others recount times when parents helped them resolve seemingly irresolvable conflicts with friends or teachers. Yuval says he made it through eleventh grade "thanks to Mom. She just did not let me rest. She sat on me for a month." Maor tells us that he appreciates his father because "I tell him my secrets, and he doesn't reveal them to anyone, even my mother." Humor often enters into tales about family life. Abdullah, age thirteen, describes a burn on his leg incurred, accidentally, during an act of mischief. When asked by his mother why he didn't tell her of the burn before visiting the village clinic, Abdullah replies, "Burning is less severe than your tongue."

LIVES IN THE SCHOOLROOM

The teenagers address in-depth their day-to-day lives as middle school and high school students. Some express feelings of boredom in the classroom and talk of strategies they employ to cope with such feelings. Sireen tries to distract her teachers from the subject matter under discussion: "I ask lots of questions ... that sometimes are not that relevant. For example, I'll ask my teacher about her vacation. Then she'll forget about the subject we're studying." Others decry the lack of respect they perceive on the part of their teachers: "I hated the third grade most of all," Abdullah exclaims, "because my teacher made fun of me when I tried to read and spell Hebrew words." Afkar complains about a lack of creativity on the part of her teachers. "[They] don't encourage us to be original in our thinking. They're only interested in finishing the book and having us take exams." Tamara complains that "[s]ometimes what a teacher demands is unreasonable. For example, a teacher may say, 'Sit in your place and be quiet, you're coming to school for your own good.'" "But," Tamara concludes, "I know what's good for me."

Many teenagers sing the praises of their teachers and of their daily lives at school. The same Abdullah who was critical of his third-grade teacher pays tribute to a second-grade instructor who "recognized the fact that some students need help" and who gave him extra lessons. For Maor, "[a]n excellent teacher ... is one who ... has faith in you, even when you're not so successful in your studies." Tamara tells us that "teachers can affect generations to come" and she recalls the Muslim saying "The teacher was about to be a prophet." Matan attends an "open school," a school where "you can choose what you're going to study and the methods you'll be using to learn the subjects you've chosen. You're personally involved in everything that happens at the school." He goes on to add, "I'm just not interested in having someone limit my range of possibilities."

LIVES IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Neighborhood life is vividly described by these young Israelis and Palestinians. Most speak of close ties among neighbors. Tamara says, "We have eight houses on our block. I feel they're one house.... When we visit a relative, we just knock on the door and go in." Haneen says, "Most of our neighbors are our relatives. They're my grandparents, uncles, and cousins." Shany speaks of a neighbor who "drops in if she's passing by," and praises her mother who, busy as she is in her law firm, "makes sure she has time for these kinds of visits."

The inner life of the children interviewed cannot be separated from the political context in which they live. Thus, while describing their neighborhoods, many Palestinian teenagers complain bitterly about Israeli checkpoints preventing them from moving about within and between their immediate surroundings. As Sireen says, "When you want to visit another place, you have to think about it a thousand times, because in order to leave the neighborhood, you have to wait an hour and a half just to go through the checkpoint." According to Khael, "Before the Occupation a trip from Birzeit to Ramallah, where I go to school, would be an easy, lovely ride. But now it's not the case. Yesterday a barrier was erected, and we were late to school."

The ongoing conflict means that crossing neighborhood boundaries-or even moving about within a neighborhood-is stressful for Israelis in a different way. Many Israeli teenagers speak of their fear of suicide bombs, a fear that prevents them from moving freely outside their homes. "Once," Asaf says, "I rode a bus and saw a Palestinian get onto the bus with some bags. I felt afraid, so I got off one stop early." Daniel says, "Our region is not a fun place to be. If you want to go to the seashore, you're afraid that a suicide bomber will come up from the water."

The inextricable linkage between inner and outer lives becomes even more apparent when many Palestinian interviewees-discussing life in their neighborhoods-complain about the lack of funds for Palestinian Israeli communities compared with the availability of funds for Jewish Israeli neighborhood facilities. Reem decries the fact that "[o]ur village doesn't have playgrounds or parks. There's just no money in our municipal budget for parks. We have to go to the Jewish towns if we want to play in places like these." Alaa claims that "[a] lack of funds in the Palestinian community is the main cause of the suffering that's occurring in Palestinian cities within Israel." Jad dreams of being a professional basketball player, but, in his words, "I don't have access to decent facilities and coaches.... The kibbutzim [collective communities] and Jewish towns surrounding [my town] all have very beautiful, modern sports facilities, but I can't go there to practice." Sandy is an excellent swimmer. When thinking about trying out for the Olympics, she realizes that there are many stumbling blocks for Palestinians. She cannot practice her swimming in Olympic-sized facilities: "My identity card doesn't permit me to go in and out of Jerusalem."

FRIENDSHIPS

Descriptions of friendships make up substantial portions of each teenager's narrative. Yuval says, "[My friends] don't let me be sad. When I'm really depressed, they just don't allow me to stay that way." Khael's four close friends confide in one another. "Sometimes there are misunderstandings among us, but we forgive each other pretty quickly. Friendship is a treasure that can be yours for life." Elinor's friends are "like sisters." For Reem, "[f]riendship ... is like living in a steady stream of sincerity, honesty, love, and cooperation flowing from one person to another." Some teenagers talk about difficulties in making and sustaining friendships. Hala has trouble expressing her feelings to her friends: "I just can't talk to them. I keep it all inside, and it continues to hurt." Nofar confesses that she does not get along with boys. "They only bother me." And Alaa proclaims, "Friendship isn't always smooth." She gives an example replete with irony: "We agreed to go out together to the mall to see a movie. It turned out that there wasn't enough room in the car for all of us, so I volunteered to stay home. My friend simply accepted what I had offered to do.... I was angry and felt that she was being very selfish."

Friendships with members of the opposite sex are also discussed. Most Palestinians mention that their cultural traditions prohibit them from forming more than casual friendships with members of the opposite sex prior to marriage. Ahmad says, "I ... like spending time with a group of girls. However, the society I live in does not encourage this practice. I feel envious when I see Israeli teenagers relating to their female friends." Sireen's testimony on this subject is striking: "My parents forbid me from having a boyfriend because of our tradition. I think having male friends is OK, but it would be silly to have a boyfriend. I have friends who have boyfriends. One day, one of them told me, 'We had fun,' and then the following day she said, 'We broke up.' ... If you have a fight with a male friend, you'll get over it in two or three days. But a fight with a boyfriend would break your heart."

A few of the older Israeli teenagers speak quite candidly about boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. For Nadia, "The important thing in a relationship like mine with my boyfriend is honesty. We should have a good time and not be pressured to do anything we don't want to do." Yuval speaks of the end of a relationship: "There was someone I fell in love with not long ago. I asked her if she wanted to move ahead with our relationship. She said she didn't know, that she needed to think about it. She thought about it for a really long time. That really upset me.... There's a limit to waiting for love." An important part of Shany's inner life is revealed when she tells us, "My dreams for the future include finding someone who will love me and whom I'll love in return. But first of all I've got to be OK within myself."

PERSONAL HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

All of the teenagers speak of their passion for hobbies or interests outside of school. Often these descriptions of extracurricular activities shed light on the inner life of the interviewee. Nofar reveals that she is very interested in art and that she draws nicely. However, she is unsure of herself: "My father says I have a very successful future in art. He tells everyone that his daughter will be an artist someday. But I feel insecure about my drawing. Maybe I don't appreciate myself enough." Nadia admits that she excels in analyzing other people. After offering an astute interpretation of a dream, she is asked by her mother, "How do you know all this?" Nadia's reply: "I just knew it. I sort of felt it. I don't know where I got this ability from." Abdullah spent time with a cat that he loved. Yet after giving the cat all his attention for a long time, Abdullah tells us, "I got busy with other things, and I stopped feeding it. The cat slipped away quietly." He concludes, "I guess every creature wants to be cared for all the time."

Ibraheem practices karate, earning a brown belt and working toward a black belt. "What I love about karate," he tells us, "is the discipline. This is the same discipline I get from practicing my faith." Tal loves acting: "I'd like to be an actress someday," she proclaims. "I'll first want to be successful in Israel, then on to Hollywood. What I especially like about acting is the possibility of achieving fame and becoming rich. I want everyone to know who Tal is." Sari is entranced by the music of the Colombian singer Shakira: "Shakira's sweet songs connect me to God," he shares. "They nourish my soul." Uri speaks of letting go of his anger by sitting down and drawing: "I love drawing," he says. "It helps me forget my problems." Humor is not lacking in this category either. Daniel, who lives with his mother, describes his piano lessons as a failed experiment: "My mother has always wanted me to be a pianist. She actually forced me to study piano.... You can bet the neighbors are pleased when I practice the piano at my father's home!"

(Continues...)

Excerpted from TEEN VOICES FROM THE HOLY LANDby Mahmoud Watad Leonard Grob Copyright © 2007 by Mahmoud Watad and Leonard Grob . Excerpted by permission.
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