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The answers are here
on June 14, 2013
If this list describes you, then you must read this book. Then find a counselor and get some help to deal with it. It will hurt to read this book. You will have realizations that are mind-blowing and gut-wrenching. But you will find a lot of answers for why you are the way you are. This list is a quote from the book.
* When you see a tender mother-child interaction, you are emotionally triggered. You may feel choked up and teary or push away the pain by becoming critical and dismissive. (It hurts to see what you didn't have.)
* You would just as soon not look deeply into your relationship with your mother. Better to "let sleeping dogs lie."
* When you visit your mother, you find yourself numbing or going into a trance state in which you are not fully present. Visits are always upsetting, and you find yourself back in painful childhood feelings.
* You crave true closeness yet feel uncomfortable and afraid of it. It is unfamiliar to you.
* You feel some core shame and suffer from feelings (often hidden) that there is something unlovable about you.
* You avoid having children of your own, feeling somehow not quite like "parent material."
Remember Bruce Willis's character in The Sixth Sense? The realizations I had were like when he realizes at the end that he's one of the dead people. His life flashes before his eyes in a wave of disbelief and suddenly everything makes sense. He looks back on all the times that things were not quite right but he couldn't explain them at the time.
Now, there's an explanation.