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Mary O'Malley

The Gift of Our Compulsions: A Revolutionary Approach to Self-Acceptance and Healing Paperback – September 28, 2004

by Mary O'Malley (Author)

53 customer reviews

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Everyone is compulsive to some degree. People may worry too much, work too hard, or overindulge in food or alcohol or drug use. Once a compulsion is admitted, the usual option is to try to control the behavior. But this effort typically ends with the problem compulsion returning, or a new one taking its place.

In this book based on three decades of research, Mary O’Malley has crafted a new approach to healing compulsion, with simple exercises and techniques and an inspiring tone. People are compulsive for a reason, she says, and by observing the things they are compulsive about, engaging those compulsions, readers can begin to understand them and change their actions around them. The book’s exercises help readers in the engagement process by teaching them to ask the right questions. The book shows readers why lasting healing comes from being curious rather than controlling, and self-acceptance comes through forgiveness, not shame.

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Product details

Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: New World Library (September 28, 2004)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1577314700
ISBN-13: 978-1577314707
Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review: 53 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #66,352 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #74 in Compulsive Behavior (Books)
- #356 in Popular Psychology Pathologies
- #604 in Mental & Spiritual Healing

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LexiRave

Not So Revolutionary

June 5, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

I am not a paid reviewer. I waded through this book and did some of the exercises to help me really focus on some of the root causes of my belief around food and my eating habits. There are some good ideas that Mary O'Malley offers to help her reader get to a specific self-awareness about their struggle with dieting and other compulsion. However, this book is not a straight-forward self-help type of read. With that said, anyone who approaches this book can find something that may help them with better understanding and managing their compulsions. Unfortunately, I was not that person.

4 people found this helpful

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Absolutely amazing read. Stumbling upon it and discovering all of ...

February 27, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

Absolutely amazing read. Stumbling upon it and discovering all of the wisdom and gems has already changed my life and I'm not done reading it yet. Would buy for loved ones who struggle with self-blame/shame/criticism. Would buy again. Very grateful.

7 people found this helpful

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Blue Ocean 2000

Not for me.....

February 26, 2017

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

The author starts out with some great insights and then spends the next 40 pages dragging the reader around through her analogies which are even more confusing..... I'm glad others have found this to be helpful. I didn't it. I found it incredibly frustrating. Plus, the author gets one of her major examples wrong: The Horse Whisperer, by Nicholas Evans, was based on Buck Brannaman, NOT Monty Roberts. The author states this on his web site......jeesh....

2 people found this helpful

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CaliforniaDreaming

December 2, 2016

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Into chapter 3, and so far the book touches on the surface of psychological roots of compulsions. I'm reading it for a history of emotional eating and it makes sense- make friends with the compulsions. Don't deny or be scared of them. Figure out where they are coming from. Good read.

4 people found this helpful

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Heather

Great read about compulsions

August 6, 2016

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This book brings a lot of clarity to reconnect with ourself to better understand our compulsions. If you're struggling with any sort of addiction, this book can open your eyes to be curious about what you really need in the moment you turn to your vice. I've been putting some of the practices into place. It's a process that takes time but I'm seeing myself clearly when I'm about to turn to my vice.

5 people found this helpful

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Ever Healthier

Truly a Gift

April 4, 2013

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

I chose to purchase this book for my tablet which has made it an incredibly handy resource. I highlight statements and bookmark places and return to the author's thoughts almost daily. O'Malley's words are wise and nurturing and I'm finding this book a just right fit for my needs. I experience a sense of peace and spaciousness with her focus on building a relationship with the compulsion and her emphasis that the compulsive behavior is the link towards opening to self-acceptance and self-love. While she gives practical tools to develop awareness and resources, she offers a perspective that keeps me returning to her writing to help open my heart. I'm so glad I found this book!

7 people found this helpful

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FierceRach

What a GEM

June 17, 2017

Format: Kindle EditionVerified Purchase

This book has been such a gift!
What a powerful, amazing, thought provoking book on life, coping and to work through the challenges that life presents.
Grateful I discovered it and I will be practicing the lessons I've learned indefinitely!! Just BRILLIANT!!!

2 people found this helpful

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Gregg DeMammos

Lost 40 pounds because of this book!

February 5, 2009

Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase

Mary O'Malley shares her transformation with us and the structures she created to be present in her life. The presence to her feelings about herself, her choices and her needs made a difference for her and it made a difference for me too. Mary is dedicated to people's transformation, is a generous and loving person and I'm grateful for her commitment. This book, when empowered, is fantastic. Do the practices, experiment and discover.

I weighed 189 pounds when I read the book. From reading the book, I was able to generate awareness around my choices, my needs and most importantly the space to create an ideal relationship to food and to my body.

The weight just fell off. My relationship to my body was that it was an extraordinary gift and food was the fuel and the way to honor this machine.

Changing how I fed myself or kept myself fit never felt like work or willpower, thanks to Mary. Granting myself and others forgiveness was a product of this work that went well beyond losing weight. It affects every part of my life.

32 people found this helpful

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