Top positive review
19 people found this helpful
This book will help you navigate the teen years and stay in touch with your kids as they grow into young adults
on April 6, 2016
I first read "The Five Love Languages" for adults and it opened my eyes to a new world. I discovered how the way I was showing love to my husband really wasn't communicating love to him very effectively because MY love language was different than HIS. Then we had a family and my three boys became teenagers and surprise surprise it was a challenge! A friend suggested this book and I immediately was drawn in by it because the concept is the same. How I was trying to communicate love to each one of my three teen and tween boys was not being received how I meant it because their love languages were different than mine. Aargh! That meant I actually had to spend the time learning their love languages and trying to understand them. This was a new idea for me, especially since by then I was a single mom and all I could think about was surviving day to day, not really trying to figure out how each teen boy thought, processed and communicated. Raising young kids I had found to be pretty easy. Teens were another ballgame altogether! Fortunately this book drew the idea of the teenage love languages together for me very easily, and at least helped put me on the right track. I started talking to each of my boys about how they thought and communicated, what they liked and didn't, and we even did the teen love language test together! They thought it was stupid, but we laughed about it and it was helpful! The five languages are, of course, the same as for adults: words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, acts of service and quality time. I learnt that one of my sons absolutely did not like to be touched but valued when I did things for him (acts of service). I learnt that another really valued quality time even if we didn't talk much. A third needed words of affirmation and negative words tore him apart. Amazing - my languages are words of affirmation and gifts, so there was a lot of miscommunication going on! We started to establish some family rules, and, amazingly, things began to change.
I wrote in another review about teenage boundaries that my oldest two teenagers just left home this year. One started college last Fall and the other graduated HS this spring and started a full-time job for a year before he goes to college. They have grown into amazing young adults, and every time I see them they seem to be maturing more. Not everything I did was wrong - something was right, and we're STILL communicating, which is incredible and definitely thanks in part to this book! My youngest son, almost 16, is in full-blown teen years and I'm about to read this book again. Plus I now have two teenage stepdaughters and I've seen that there's a chapter here for blended families which is going to be absolutely invaluable.
In short, this is an incredible book and well worth the investment of time and money. Learning to communicate with your teens reaps rewards not only during the younger teenage years, but on through their young adulthood and I'm sure well into the future. In my opinion, it's fairly easy to raise young children, but teenagers are the greatest challenge ever presented to the modern parent given everything we and they face today. This book will help you navigate those years and help you stay in touch with the greatest gift you have been given - your kids!