Top positive review
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Short and Powerful - Highly Recommend
on December 13, 2000
Reading this concise book I had the feeling that I was glimpsing real wisdom, not psychobable or "self-help".
Don Miguel Ruiz takes his interpretation of Toltec wisdom explained beautifully in his previous work "The Four Agreements" and applies these concepts to the realm of human relationships. Ruiz has an easy writing style that is very accessible and a joy to read numerous times.
This is a book you can finish in an afternoon sitting, yet it's simple truths have the potential to alter profoundly how you view loving relationships as well as your relationship with yourself. There's a lot here. I've read this twice and it's spoken directly to me in ways beyond what I can explain in this review.
Don Miguel teaches through parable and direct suggestion the transforming power of self-love. He says that all relationships start with you, and how you feel about yourself. You will allow just as much abuse and what he calls "emotional poison" as you inflict upon yourself. A truly loving relationship requires self love - which is so lacking in most of us. Ruiz compares the ideal relationship to the one we have with out pet - say our dog. The relationship with our dog is perfect because we get exactly what we expect from our dog. We never wish that our dog would be better at being a dog, and we love it freely just as it is. Yet with our mate we tend not to accept them as they are, we expect them to be different, to act in ways they would not naturally act. Then we are unhappy with them. We think we are in love with them, but really we're in love with how we want them to be. He says that we do not truly accept this person we say we love because we don't accept ourselves.
Ruiz tell us that humans hunt for love because we don't have it. We don't have it within ourselves. We hunt for love from other humans who also don't love themselves and are also on the love hunt. Then we are surprised and upset that we don't get the love we want from them, and they feel the same. So true! Other people don't have the love we need, only we do.
Don Miguel ends the book with a guide to healing our "emotional body" and also prayers for ourselves.