Customer Reviews: The Mystery Method: How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed
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on October 12, 2011
Like many of you, I read The Game by Neil Strauss and almost immediately I was sucked in to the world of PUAs. More than anything it opened my eyes...I was aware of The Matrix. Many months have passed since then, and I just recently picked up a copy of the Mystery Method to try to kick start my stagnant game to the next level. I was blown away by the first few chapters...a powerful introduction, timeless human tendencies that really help you understand social dynamics, and an informative and well written overview of the Mystery Method. I loved where this was going, so much good information already.

I should have stopped there. But I'm glad I didn't, because I learned a much more (unintended) important lesson from this book.

After the first section, the book really takes a sharp turn in a different direction. An extremely scientific, not romantic, direction. Mystery breaks down every aspect of social interaction to the T. And when I say to the T, I mean deeper than some stuff you'd learn in a college sociology/psychology class. You learn how to bend and influence social situations to your benefit...these tactics dive deep into the subconscious building blocks of socialization within all of us, including me and you (maybe there's a good reason why these brain processes are left alone in the subconscious by 99% of the population?...more on this very soon). You're bombarded with technical information on all fronts, and sometimes feel like an 85 year old trying to learn how to use Microsoft Word by studying advanced computer programming.

You're basically learning the social code (like a computer code) of how to become a social programmer. You're also being programmed yourself to, in a sense, become a social robot who strictly follows the social scientific method. Mystery has said it himself... social interactions will become nothing more than "math equations". You'll start seeing the patterns, the equations, friends will become "pivots", nice girls you meet will become "obstacles". The nightclub will become your computer game, and you will become the programmer.

Is this really courtship?

More importantly to some AFCs, will it work? I'm sure it will with devoted practice. But at what cost? This stuff with inevitability trickle down into your relationships with your family and friends. The fun spontaneity of going out won't be FUN anymore once you truly get this method down as human interaction will simply become patterns, equations, science. Interaction will be the equivalent of solving a calculus problem with your theories, routines, ability to see past the variables. If you master this material I think you'll be left very empty inside. You'll cross a dangerous point of no return as a person, incapable of genuine social functioning. If you don't master this material, you'll be lost in your own head when you're with girls wondering if you are following everything exactly like you are supposed to.

This isn't learning how to truly be a romantic and increase your sex appeal.
This isn't courtship, the very thing you got into The Game to truly learn.
This isn't making you a better person. Its only positive may be allowing you to obtain more self-confidence, although through a misguided way.

Think back to Day this really what you got into The Game for?

No. I doubt you had it marked down on your to-do list to become a mad professor of psychology and sociology, like a misguided psychiatrist who uses his knowledge of the human mind to sexually attract his patients. Wake up guys: This is one way to get the girl, but deep down this isn't the way you ever wanted to do it and after a while this stuff won't make you happy. You aren't working on deep, internal self-improvement. You're just plugging in the numbers to solve the equation, and correcting one flaw in your life by potentially replacing it with an even deeper, more dangerous flaw.

MY ADVICE: There are good "big picture" points made in this book, and by PUAs in general. Read the first couple of chapters, then maybe the bullet point chapter summaries from there. More than anything else, you just need to be a truly confident man who believes he is worth the girl. You can learn and apply the basics from the PUAs, but from there the ball truly needs to be put back in your court in your own way.

I don't need any more advice from the PUAs, even though they could utterly destroy me in a pick-up contest. We didn't get into The Game to become a mad scientist using the nightclub as our laboratory. Mystery isn't happy, evidenced by his depression and near suicide attempts in Strauss's novel. He went from one end of the spectrum of social ineptness (AFC style), to the complete opposite end (oversocialized...every word, sentence, body movement by anyone or by yourself is just a predictable, programmed response). Sure, he can get girls now. Is that worth everything else that he doesn't even realize he's lost?

In certain areas of life, too much information can be more harmful towards your well-being than not enough information. Don't let this become you! Get the basics of this stuff down, then strive to become a genuinely better person by just getting out there, trying things out, and building confidence through your successes and the knowledge you gain from your failures.
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VINE VOICEon January 10, 2011
So does so much else. Look, I don't know what guy is coming to this book. I know I have a sister in college who is single and I'd prefer some guy picking her up with this method, than some of the lame things she's told me guys have tried to do. One guy sent her an email, "Can you handle me?" Really, men need some help in the proper way to capture a woman's attention and interest. As for me, I've been studying and studying the PUA's. Frankly, I find Logan Edwards two books, Secrets of the A Game and The Art of the Approach to be the most helpful in published PUA material, along with obviously The Game, and several books on influence and persuasion, including a few on covert hypnosis.

As the months have passed as I've started to read and study this material and started to use it in the real world. I've come to the conclusion that you also have to look at your own personality. I am not someone that likes to dress up stupidly (I like to dress up most of the time in dark colors, usually suede and jeans and dress pants), I don't like clubs, and I don't mind not hitting on a girl if there's none that interest me. I agree with Mystery's fundamental reasoning and I believe you should practice, go out there, and work the magic. This book is great for opening sets. But when a woman's alone, I believe your better off with a more direct approach, having to not win over anyone except the woman. And if you don't want to bother opening a set, there's always the approach of, "Can I borrow your friend for two seconds (in a psychological study, 85% of people do not feel threatened by a time restraint of seconds)," express your attraction, or your interest in her. Tell her you'd like to keep talking to her, hand her your phone, and tell her to give you her number. This book is very much oriented to opening up groups of people, something that you don't see a lot of in bookstores, cafes, stores, and on the street (my hunting ground). It says that the mystery method works in the real world away from the club scene, and I've tried a few techniques and it certainly does, so I wouldn't consider it waste if you, like me, don't enjoy the club atmosphere.

Like the stock market, where you have technical analysis and fundamental analysis, a mixture of the two, daytrading, investing, swing trading, and the such, in the pick-up community, you have Speed-Seduction, you have Indirect Game, you have Direct Game, and a mixture of any of them. The fact is that they all work, they can all be good, and they can all get you into bed with the type of women you desire. The first rule of PUA is "Never get invested in any single woman." Look, if you're buying this book with the hope of learning some trick to turn that "Friend" into your girlfriend, it's not here for the most part. There are some simple truths in the world, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," so if you've fallen into the friend zone, break off the relationship, stop being there for her, and stop being her friend. "When you can't have something you'll want it more," for fat people in the world, diets don't work because you try to tell your mind what you can't have which makes you want it more, the same works with women, tell them you don't want them anymore, they want you even more.

The Mystery Method is a superb club-hopping book, that if you go out Friday and Saturday every night, trying out the routine on every girl, every set of girls, in 3 to 6 months you can be getting laid on a regular basis (3 months for sure if you go out 4 mights a week). I weigh 260 pounds, I still have a little acne, I'm 22, and though I wouldn't credit this book with most of my success, I would credit it with something.

The first thing I think guys need to do though is get rid of the limitting beliefs that are holding them back. Unstoppable Confidence by Kent Sayre is a great book to start with, Goodbye-to-Shy by Leil Lowndes is another. In fact, Leil Lowndes has several great books that all guys should check out. The fact is that what the PUA community does for guys is gives them a belief in themselves. When Mystery walks into a club, women come to him, not because he's done something special, but because he walks with the belief that any girl in there can be his. In the end the PUA community is giving guys the ability to fake it until they make it. They're being sent out into the world with routines they're told will help attract women and keep their attention. But the fact is, if you watch The Pick-Up Artist, women listened to those guys right from the beginning, the fact was that they lost their interest because the guys lost faith in themselves. If you believe the routine will work, it will work, and if you need this book to give you some basics, I highly recommend it. But the fact is, if you can gather enough faith in yourself to the point that (to quote Ross Jeffries book, How To Get The Women You Desire Into Bed, a bad book that is great for the confidence building exorcises) You Will Not Make Excuses For Your Desires, You Will Not Make Excuses For Yourself, You Will Walk Through The World Without Apology, And You Will Not Worry About Setbacks Because They Are Learning Experiences, you will get beautiful women attracted to you, because, if you value yourself more than you value them, they will value you too.

That's all it takes to have a high value. You must be the dictator of your own life. Don't let your life become a democracy. Don't seek approval. Don't be a dancing monkey for them. Don't be the lovable loser you see in movies. Be A MAN, America's running short on them. Women say they don't want men, they want gentlemen, but how's being that friend gone for you. Since I've stopped being friends to girls that I want to be with, and ignore them if they don't want to be with me, I've not only increased my self-respect, I've increased the respect that women see in me.

P.S. Jan 19
The more I look at the DHV principle, the more I dislike the books central theme. Mystery is not an Alpha Male, the men that take mystery's class is not an Alpha male, it's why he comes up with this display of higher value. I went through the book again, "Appear willing to walk away." A real Alpha Male is willing to walk away. If you want to be one of those people who wants to be a great gamer, who wants their life to be the game, being the most skilled at seducing women, then I guess this stuff will matter more. But, if you're interested in women. Don't be fake. Learn to be an actual man.
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on January 9, 2010
Believe it or not, as a woman, I thought this book was excellent, both as a general read and as a touchstone. I've been able to see through most men's pick up attempts throughout my life (and yes, I've accepted propositions even though I knew what was going on). However, even though I'm now in my early 50s, I still occasionally wonder why men behave the way they do; what is really behind the smile? Much of what Mystery talks about is in keeping with my general observations. It's the specifics that made me nod and think, "Oh, THAT'S what the guy meant last night in the lounge!" Overall, I'd like WOMEN to read this book, not as a way of defense against the PUA, but rather to understand how PUAs look at us.
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on March 8, 2007
You should read "The Game" by Neil Strauss first - Neil's book is a very entertaining read. This book is a textbook, pure and simple. The information is outstanding, but it's not meant to be entertaining, just informative. The book is not hard to understand at all, if you've read "The Game" first.

For those who say "Act naturally and practice, you don't need advice books", everyone can benefit from coaching. Even Michael Jordan acknowledged how coaches helped his basketball game.

In response to the reviewer that compained about PUA's manipulating females, women have men beat in the manipulation game by a country mile. Women manipulate to obtain money and resources for men, and there are entire industries devoted to it (women's magazines, clothing, makeup, plastic surgery, etc.). The PUA community is only an attempt to level the playing field.
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on April 8, 2013
You know a book is worth reading when it makes so many feminists, manginas, and haters lose their minds over it. Your reviews range from the ridiculous to the outright hilarious. I swear---some of you must have been raised on romance novels, Celine Dion albums and the Lifetime Channel! Lol!

I'm not going to go into a lengthy review of this book as you should already know what the PUA community is all about. If by some chance you don't, just look online for the VH1 Show called "The Pickup Artist" and you'll soon know what kind of book this is.

This book will not do the following for you: find you a wife, give you self-esteem/self-confidence, make you taller/thinner/muscular or make your hair grow back. So in other words: if you're a 5'2", overweight bald man with no confidence, odds are pretty low that the Kate Upton look-alike at the end of the bar will ever be interested in you.

Sorry, but some things just can't be overcome. Nowhere in the book does the author promise an overnight transformation either.

What this book WILL do for you is clue you in as to how women think and give you the tools you need to improve your odds of scoring and scoring with hotter women than you're getting now.

Some of these reviews have been written by very clueless and introverted men who've never felt comfortable talking to attractive women. Some of these guys are much like the contestants on Biggest Loser who're really motivated and pumped-up when they first get to the ranch. And then they go through their first workout. And then reality sets in and suddenly they realize just how much pain and suffering they're going to have to endure to even get close to their goals.

That's what happens in this book. It says early on that the game is played out there in the real world. Read the book all you want and imagine various scenarios in your head but you won't grow as a person until you're in a crowded nightclub and you're staring rejection & embarrassment right in the face.

All-in-all this book is a little dry to read but that's because it get's right down to business. Incredible book for the price.

One last thing----this book is not about long-term relationships or marriage. For that, I highly recommend "The System" by Doc Love aka Tom Hodges. Much broader overview of relationships and women in general but he covers very little "in-the-field" craftwork.
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on March 17, 2007
This short book is about being persuasive and asserting influence. If you peel away the title,though, it could be about marketing and closing any sale: don't be needy; be mentally able to walk away from any deal; understand the value of having a high social proof; invest others in you; develop a process, not a one liner. It has some good stuff about how our brains are wired and why. And, having read Strauss's book, I believe that Mystery and his method works for a PUA but it sounds like a lot of work, which maybe why he claims that there is only 4 to 10 hours between meeting and congress. The book is well written and makes good use of charts, although the bullet points are overdone---like apricot jam spread on toast, a little can go a long way. A book that anyone who persuades for a living should ,well, pick up.
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on February 12, 2007
Certainly, the neatness & careful order of the pick up is fully explained in the so expected Mystery's book (there are many interesting observations and social dynamics views). However, having experienced it a few years ago by myself, and after coming up with my own way of seducinig women, which is more direct, simpler and more natural, I see this now as a very complex dating manual.

What I mean is that the 'venusian artist' (as Mystery calls) who really wants to improve his skills with the opposite sex will need lots of time, motivation, encouragement and willpower to keep going out 4 times a week to nightclubs as Mystery suggest, and keep approaching and entertaining groups and groups of people until he 'becomes good' (which still doesn't mean he will get laid). And let's be honest, most guys out there don't want to become a pick up entertaining machine. They just want to get their booty call once in a while.

People have been mating for millions of years without these kind of things and many great ladie's men have been enjoying their success without doing these kind of advices, actually by being more direct and persistent. The truth is that there's really no method, only what works for specific guys in specific places and time, with specific types of girls (actually it is called Mystery's for a reason). Obviously any shy and unskilled guy will become good at meeting women by going out a lot and becoming more social, it is no secret! Flirting is no rocket science, but if you still want to enjoy the 'game' as they call it, and want to explore the method for yourself, read the book and try it for yourself.

Just please don't become one of these guys who have spent thousand dollars on workshops, seminars, books and tapes and still don't get laid because they think they still need the 'ultimate secret formula'. There's none. The problem I see in mystery method is that the author has tried to make all this mating thing as a science and people get lost in the process instead of enjoying a normal interaction with the opposite sex ("Give me more routines. I need a new 'opener'. I still need to 'practice' my negs" etc. etc).

Whatever 'method' you use, it will work if you just grab your balls and talk to the women you are really attracted to. Just don't expect miracles of the 'I-Can-Get-Any-Girl' type. Some will want to have sex with you, some others not, no matter what you do. Just find out which ones are the willing ones to share orgasms with you. That's reality. Enjoy.
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on May 10, 2014
This book is neither better nor worse than other pick up manuals which are all designed to introduce you into the arts of seduction, but they give you not enough for anything practical to use. The idea is to sort of wet your appetite and convince you to buy expensive videos, workshops, etc. Does it work? It does if you are willing to spend time, effort and money. Pickup is an art or a skill, and like every art and skill requires significant learning curve. Be prepared to change your lifestyle, ideology and to devote at least 2 years of your life to this, before you start seeing definite results. Your looks and age are unimportant although grooming and lack of insecurities always matter. The better programs individually assess students and root out insecurity first. Some of the Mystery students, who created their own workshops and wrote their own books on seduction introduced new methods that are quite effective, but they all work if you devote them some time. Good luck to all of yea fokkers, lol!
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on October 18, 2007
I have never been a consistent reader of the "pick up/player" genre, but I've become more attuned to it recently as I have begun a work of my own on a similar topic. Based on the tomes I have consumed, The Mystery Method currently ranks as second best--just behind How to Succeed with Women by Lewis and Copeland.

Many of us know Mystery from The Game or his new TV show on VH1. Unlike most of the Amazon reviewers, I was not a big admirer of Neil Strauss's account, but I found Mystery to be, by far, the only compelling character in the book. He was the only person you cared about. In the narrative sections concerning him, readers become entranced. He arouses feelings within us of elation, zeal, and sympathy. He is a man of depth and vision which was a major reason why The Game was worth perusing.

If you have any doubts about this offering--thinking that perhaps the 6'5" would-be rock star is trying to cash in on his recent celebrity--think again. He has produced an instructional volume of which he will forever be proud. I think that is why some people found it dry because, in my estimation, he attempted to put everything he had into this publication. It stands alone and is not a "teaser" vehicle by which struggling Average Frustrated Chumps will feel a need to purchase a registration ticket for one of his seminars. You get the vibe from these pages that he was scared to leave anything (essential) out as he knew it would be a work from he would always be judged.

So much about women and our romantic relations with them is counter-intuitive which renders conventional wisdom completely useless. Mystery asks us to suspend disbelief in these pages and we are wise to do so. He analyzes the irrational process of seduction and attraction in the most logical way possible. These chapters are full of symbols and lingo which (yes, can be trying) but ultimately describe the privileged sex in a manner far superior to anything you will find in the self-help section of the local bookstore.

I have studied women to a great extent, and believe that what Mystery reveals here informs us more of their group behaviors than the majority of psychology textbooks. As I read this work I looked back on some of my own romantic successes and failures--particularly those with unexpected outcomes. I came away with the realization my most fantastic memories were a result of my own--generally unintentional--practice of negging and demonstrations of value; while my memories of disaster sprung from a diminishment of personal value and a refusal to build comfort. All of us can learn from this man and we must always remember that in this game, as in so many others, fortune always favors the bold.
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on November 12, 2009
The great flaw in the mystery method is that it assumes that the girl you are hitting on in a club or a bar is actually paying attention to you and is following closely what you are doing or saying. Usually, they're not. Women go to these places for the social atmosphere and are having numerous conversations with multiple people all night. I'll bet numerous guys have tried the mystery method only to be repeatedly frustrated as the targets of their "sets" keep moving on to talk to someone else. If a girl in a club is actually paying close enough attention to you to notice the things Mystery tells you to do, then she already likes you and there is no point in trying mystery's games on her.

Now if you try this stuff outside of the bar scene, say, at work or at a social gathering, people will think you are a tool. When you meet people in casual social situations, they expect you to be putting your best foot forward, so if you start using negs, bait and hook, or "freeze-outs" you are going to sound immature. Neg that hot female co-worker of yours and then use a false time constraint, and she will be glad your rude butt is leaving. Freeze out someone and they will simply find someone else more genial to talk to. Mystery seems to think that being slightly rude or condescending will make strangers fight for your approval, but in reality, they will just avoid talking to you.

Overcoming last minute resistance is covered in the last chapter, and it's a felony. The good news is that if you have followed the advice in the previous eight chapters of this book, then you will be dateless anyway and you will not have to worry about this.

The underlying assumption in this book is that it is possible to replace your current personality (which drives people away) with a new personality that attracts people. This is possible to a certain degree, but books like this are not the way to do it. What you really need to do is confront your own issues and find out what it is that causes you to act in such a negative way to begin with, and then address those issues on your own. There is no need for having game if you learn to be a positive, not all about yourself, emotionally healthy person who is attractive in his own right.

The personality mystery wants to give you is not a healthy one - it is the personality of a self centered and clueless man who thinks that all the women he meets will be helpless against his stealthy manipulation skills. But true manipulators can only work their craft after they are in a relationship. Beforehand, this sort of stuff will be picked up on in a heartbeat by anyone you are trying to get to know. Everybody looks for "red flags" in their potential dates, and this book is a handbook on how to give off the red flags saying that you've got serious issues and should be passed on.

Mystery sells his techniques by padding them heavily with all kinds of jargon and off base analysis to make them appear scientific and well researched, but what mystery is actually teaching is some very basic a-hole behavior that your potential dates will pick up on and be unimpressed with. The only game mystery is playing is on the men who buy his book.
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