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Showing 1-8 of 8 reviews(Verified Purchases). See all 15 reviews
on July 5, 2012
We adopted out of the foster care system. Our classes did not prepare us for all the issues that were going to come up after adoption. I have been suffering from Post Adoption Depression which I never even knew existed. I have struggled with our adoption I always wanted to be a mom and couldn't figure out what was going on with me. I have been finding out I have so much baggage from my childhood that has come out. So I am a hurt mom trying to parent 3 hurting kids. Not a good situation! Anyway I have been blessed by this book, along with parenting the hurt child and thriving as an adoptive family. I wish I would have known about these issues BEFORE we adopted. I only wish we would have gotten help sooner. If you are an adoptive parent know you aren't crazy and get help!
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on August 21, 2016
I needed this book more than I knew when I ordered it. It's very insightful and it really helped me identify some of the things I was feeling and why I was feeling them. I actually cried as I read a few of the passages as I was thinking "Yes!! That's exactly it!" There were things that I couldn't really put into words or explain to anyone else and there it was right on the page explained perfectly. It's such a relief to be able to put all of my thoughts and feelings together and to know that I'm not the only one going through these things. I am actually going to read some parts to my best friend so she can understand some of the things I'm dealing with, because the book says it so better than I could.
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on November 24, 2015
This is real! Great for reading if you are struggling w attaching or experiencing difficulties w older adoptions. Adoption isnt always rainbows and roses and I really respect the honesty within this book! It helped me work on me knowing that attachment can be a process and children deserve parents who work on themselves! Sometimes the first 6 months in an older adoption can be the most challenging because the child is grieving the loss or is adjusting to change! Life will get alot easier- but this book helped me in the meantime!
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on January 8, 2005
This book came about as a consequence of Dr. Foli's difficulty in bonding with her baby daughter early in her adoption. As a couple, Dr. Foli and Dr. Thompson used this as a starting point to highlight many of the emotional aspects of adoption with which parents might struggle. Their belief is that by identifying and accepting difficult emotions and circumstances, parents can work through them to achieve feelings of love and acceptance.

This book will be useful to a parent (or perspective parent) who finds themselves struggling with feelings of sadness, frustration or anger. It will affirm that these are feelings that others have felt and offers suggestions for coping with these emotions.

It is likely that parts of the book will be more pertinent than others, depending upon your circumstances and personality as so many issues are addressed. Nonetheless, the approach of bringing a host of issues to the discussion table is commendable and results in a valuable resource.
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on January 30, 2014
I really liked this book because it had personal accounts by people who had adopted already. I found the stories honest and the way that it was written easy to read.
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on January 15, 2013
This is a very important book for every adoptive mom to have BEFORE your placement. I wish I had read it before so that I could have anticipated what was coming.
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on September 18, 2010
I needed this book for my homestudy for my husband and I to adopt. It told us a lot of what to expect from family members, how society see you, and it also goes into the adoption process. I learned a lot from other parent who added small stories, then got answer. I feel it's a good read if you are adopting a child.
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on January 19, 2006
Many of the situations and examples in this book are so different from our adoption scenario that I had to really dig in to find a few pieces that spoke to me.

The book spends a lot of time encouraging infertile couples to be sure they have worked through the loss of the biological child they will never have. Infertility is not something we have dealt with. We have just always wanted to adopt and have no expectations or fantasies of biological children, so I didn't find these sections helpful.

There is also quite a bit of discussion about children who are adopted older and have more than a few months life experience without a family. Again, not our situation. We are adopting an infant. Not that we expect a perfectly healthy, perfectly well-behaved child with no emotional or developmental issues, but the situations described seemed like they would be far more likely to occur in the older adopted child.

Then there is the discussion of pre-adoption counseling with the birthmother in an open adoption, and acknowledging the birthmother's position. Well, our adoption is international - not open, no knowledge of the birthparents.

For people in these types of adoption, this is probably a great book. But overall, the book tries to do too much, lumping all types of adoption, and the different challenges in each, into one book. There are a handful of points that are probably applicable to most any adoption, particularly the part about society's expectations of adoptive families, which is why I gave two stars and not one.

The few guidance pieces are also more cognitive than task-oriented, so depending on how you learn and internalize things, that may or may not be helpful. I would find task-oriented exercises, and offerings of concrete suggestions, more helpful and informative.
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