Customer Reviews: The Art of Men (I Prefer Mine al Dente)
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on November 8, 2012
I have always been a fan of Kirstie Alley and her irreverent personality, but I was disappointed in much of the book. It felt too scattered and frenetic. I enjoyed reading about her life in Kansas and her romantic encounters, also the glimpses into her family life, but I think she would have served herself and her story better if she had focused a bit more and tightened the scope of the book.

I really did not want to read about Scientology and skipped that entire chapter as she indicated one should do if you don't want to read about it. I also just skimmed through many parts where she pontificates about life, etc. I really just wanted to read about her and her life, and the men in it. I wanted to know what did happen with her and Patrick Swayze and John Travolta especially. I felt she left us hanging, though, (SPOILER ALERT) when she wrote that she and Patrick's wife Lisa Niemi are good friends today, but she isn't sure if Lisa knows about Kirstie and Patrick talking about running off together when they filmed North and South. I really hope she gave Lisa the head's up before the book went to press, otherwise that's not a very good friend.
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on December 1, 2012
I'll start off by saying I bought this book because one of my best friends is a Scientologist and I wanted to see what has kept Kirstie in Scientology lo these many years when so many celebrities have left the church with nothing good to say about it. I also bought this book because I have liked Kirstie on "Cheers" and in the movies.

When I started this book, I called my Scientologist friend for the 411 on Kirstie. My friend had worked with her on a volunteer project for Scientology and said that she was crude and not nice. Only she didn't use the words "not nice" but I don't know the Amazon policy for dissing an author. She screamed at everyone who had showed up to donate their time. After reading this book, I don't doubt my friend for a minute.

But I digress. It is too bad that Scientology doesn't believe in therapy [and I'm not talking about auditing with an E-Meter but the real thing] because if anyone is a candidate for it...that person would be Kirstie. But I think she takes an inordinate amount of pleasure in straddling the crazy line. However, she ends up being a mass of contradictions, and I was left scratching my head that a 60 year old woman knows so little about herself as well as suffering from a serious case of arrested development.

She read "Dianetics" by L. Ron Hubbard while seriously whacked out on coke. She understood the book. I read the book stone cold sober and didn't understand a word of it. Maybe that's the only way you can understand the book. Go figure. Kirstie credits the book and Scientology for ending her serious cocaine addiction but it has had relatively little effect on the rest of her life and she doesn't even realize it much less explain it. Take her relationship with "Mr. Black." This relationship starts off with butterfly kisses and ends up [although she doesn't go into much detail] like "Fifty Shades of Grey" on steroids. MOST women -- myself included -- aren't into pain and humiliation and would head for the hills as soon as this began. Kirstie made a run for it when one guy gave her a spank on the butt but endures bruises from another? I don't get it unless the expensive presents he lavished on her after these sessions helped ease her physical/psychic pain.

So where was Scientology in helping her to keep her away from abusive men? If it can cure a serious addiction -- how is it that it does not have any impact on the rest of your life? She also never takes the time to tell us how a girl with no money could AFFORD Scientology. Unlike every other religion where you tithe to the church voluntarily -- Scientology is not free. So how did Kirstie pay for auditing and all the other trappings of Scientology? This would run into the thousands [never mind what it costs to become CLEAR...the first major goal for any Scientologist] and is never explained.

Kirstie drinks a lot in this book which kind of got me to thinking that she traded in one addiction for another. That's not even counting her addiction to men. Kirstie might not want to hear un-Scientology words like co-dependent but she never seems to have met a man she didn't fall in love with or want to go to bed with or marry [straight or gay] and we hear these stories [sorry Kirstie] AD NAUSEAM throughout the book. So imagine what it's like to read Kirstie write that she's not a big drinker or that she doesn't need sex all that much. WHAT? I just went through not only every shot she's done and glass of wine she drank throughout the years but the size of almost every male appendage she's encountered. There are also about five pictures that Kirstie chose for this book where she is in a bar or club and she's obviously feeling no pain.

Speaking of clubbing, [in another of Ms. Alley's clueless moments], she does a lot of that in this book. On set, the cast and crew go out to dinner and clubs afterwards. She drinks a lot with Patrick Swayze while dirty dancing with him. She met Parker Stevenson in a restaurant/bar and then went off to a club where she managed to steal him away from his date. So imagine when I get to the part of the book where Kirstie announces she never did a lot of clubbing. WHAT? I just went through thirty years of her clubbing/drinking/sex only to have her announce that she isn't into these things. It's like she's living in a parallel universe from what she writes [the reality] and the life she thinks she's lived [the fantasy]. She starts off each chapter with a profound or eloquent [or both] quotation from such disparate people as Emile Zola to Dorothy Parker. But what follows is not profound nor eloquent. It's crude, raunchy and liberally sprinkled with drinking, clubbing and sex. Which at the end of the book she denies either engaging in or really liking.

I didn't understand this book. But then again, I didn't understand Dianetics. Perhaps I need to be wasted to understand either. I'll pass.

And doesn't Simon and Schuster have fact checkers? It's ViviEn Leigh and not ViviAn Leigh as Kirstie spelled it. Her first name is spelled with an "E" and every Leigh fan knows it. I guess I should be thankful that Alley didn't spell her last name Lee.
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on December 26, 2012
That's an appalling anecdote on the main page. What kind of creep would make fun of retarded people and endanger a pregnant woman at the same time. Harrelson would be off my friend list forever. I can't imagine why Alley put up with being treated this way. The attitude of the people watching and not helping her when she was in distress is grim also. God help the women being treated this way. It reminds me of Grace Lee Whitney's book and how she was harassed on the Star Trek set. I sure don't want to read more stuff like this.
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on November 30, 2012
disgusting book. Why would such a talented, beautiful "star" choose to relate all the very private (sometimes sordid, disgusting) details of her life. I don't agree, I think you are a tramp, Kirsty . . . .
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on November 17, 2012
I really enjoy Kirstie Alley on DWTS and watched her Big Life...Fat Actress etc..have enjoyed her movies and her other book was ok too...this was just NOT interesting..rambling on about the men in her life. Really disliked the Patrick Swayze chapter as I read his book and recall no mention of an affair with her...and John Travolta..please..ugh. Totally not worth the money.
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on January 12, 2013
Very funny and charming. Btw I totally know who "Christian Black" is and howled with laughter when she said she could picture other women reading it and realizing they went out with him too. Loved the Woody Allen chapter. Xo
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on December 24, 2012
I like Kirstie Alley, I always have. But after reading this book, I seriously question that last statement. I thought this book was going to be funny and enjoyable, it was instead the total opposite. If you like Kirstie and dont want to tarnish that, then dont read this book. Its not because of what she did throughout her life, its just the way its written. It borderlines annoying, half the guys she writes about are soooo boring. I was actually hoping it would be like Chelsea Handlers book "My Horizontal Life" which is hilarious. Such a disappointment.
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on June 28, 2013
I like her style of writing, it was as expected, entertaining. I did not learn much I had not already heard but it was a good read, nonetheless. It is clear her sense of humor gets her through the tough times and that works for her audience.
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on October 17, 2013
If you did not read this book you would not miss anything. To sum it up in a word it would be best described as "banal". I was disappointed. Found the rating scale unhelpful.
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on January 25, 2014
I liked Kirstie and thought she was funny... until I read this book. She is very immoral and not afraid to admit it. Pretty sad. I really hopes she feels shame for some things because if not, I'm worried for her life.
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