Top positive review
781 people found this helpful
STUNNED (in a good way)
on July 9, 2006
First, let me say that I am a very independent, very headstrong, liberal wife who has a higher education than her husband (masters' degree), owns a business and takes no B.S. from anyone. When this book came out, I truly thought it was a joke. WHO WOULD WRITE A BOOK LIKE THIS OUTSIDE OF THE 1950s?! And WHERE IS THE "PROPER CARE... OF WIVES"?! To add 'insult', a coworker of my husband (whose wife stays at home with their 4 kids because they feel that this is THE role wives are SUPPOSED TO take on), is the one who offered to lend it to me. I thought, "this will be interesting" but can't criticize until giving it a shot, right???
Ok - there's the background - here's the review:
I couldn't put the book down and read it in a just over a day. While I don't agree 100% with all that Dr. Laura says, and as another reviewer commented that there are parts that men may find insulting, this book has changed my life, and as a result it has changed my husband's life - both for the better. After 7 years of marriage, we are clicking like we never have before. I can't explain it to you, or to my married best friends whose jaws dropped as I confessed to them over margaritas that I NOT ONLY READ the book but I LOVED the book.
All I can say is that the foundation makes sense. It doesn't bash working women - Dr. Laura is one, after all. But it does point out, not so discreetly, that your family - the family you have chosen to create - should come above all else. And that the EXTREMISM of some aspects of the feminist movement is self-destructive to women, men and society as a whole.
And as I turned each page and as I tried to rebel against some parts (I shouldn't BURDEN him with the tales of MY day??!), peel away the layers, let down your defenses and let it make sense. (It isn't that my day is less significant, but men and women communicate differently - vent to him about your day and he'll feel like a second class citizen and a failure for not being able to fix your stress. Vent to your girlfriends and they'll dish with you! Focus your time on your husband, family, relationship, etc., once you get home instead.) AND LET ME TELL YA once you leave the work day at the door, your home becomes YOUR HOME again, too. So it's win-win! REALLY!!!
Dr. Laura's book includes parts and pieces of past calls and letters, which is a helpful, practical demonstration of her points and breaks things up so you don't feel like you're getting a lecture (especially if you are ready to admit you've been doing a few thngs wrong!). And as you can see the lightbulb go on with average Janes all over the country and across time in the dialogue- from them pushing back on her advice to (aha!) getting her message during their conversations, you see the pettiness we can cling to and frankly, the underlying simplicity in each of her messages.
OK - still skeptical? Then rent it at the library for free and give it a shot. Just TRY to put her ideas into practice - commit to changing for a week (if you aren't sold on changing your life)... What's the worst that can happen? If it's all wrong for you, you have just lost a quick week and you can pat yourself on the back for being right and you can write your own book. ;-)
But just think - what if it WORKS?! Then you will find a new meaning in your life that you didn't know you were missing. You will have a much happier and rewarding marriage. Your husband will adore you. (Sounds rough, huh?)
TRUST ME - I'm not about to become a submissive, mindless person rather than an equal partner in a relationship. But as I made a few MINOR tweaks in how I treat the man I chose to marry and spend the rest of my life with, I have received rewards from him 10-fold. And to think I thought I was doing it 'right' all along. ;0)