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on May 15, 2017
It gave me helpful insights and encouragement. “Shame“ is not a popular issue we want to think or talk about but I think it is important to know how to deal with it in God's perspective.
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on June 11, 2013
The authors point out various kinds of shame we experience and ways of dealing with them. It was very insightful and helpful!
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on November 28, 2015
I couldn't get into this book because I read Brene Brown's book first. The first time I ever read any book addressing "Shame" was written by Brene Brown. She was right on target. I loved her understanding on this subject that I told my nurse practitioner that specializes in health and well-being. She loved it enough to tell her friend who is a counselor. They both bought several of her books and found her online.
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VINE VOICEon September 2, 2009
The Shame Exchange, written by two couples, both of whom have spent many years in ministry, is a book that is at once profoundly personal and leaves you gasping for words as you journey with them through the stories of people who have dealt with, and/or are dealing with, two kinds of shame.
There is `heaped-on shame' that is `heaped on' you which, as they say later in the book, "needs to be named for what it is and rejected." (Page 176) Then there is what they call "identity-level shame." This is shame they say that is "rightfully ours because of our choices and our heritage as children of Adam..." (Page 63)
The reader will perhaps want to argue theologically with the authors (I did) on the nature and scope of sin and Christ's atonement. But, they recognize that `we need a more profound healing that simply learning to think correctly... We need to be touched beyond the scope of our intellect."
A strength of this book is that deals with the issue of shame from a cross-cultural perspective as they include stories from across ethnic lines and how ethnicity that has fueled a level of shame that does not go easily away. It also affirms the work of Christ on the cross and the value of the church as the community of faith and healing.
Their conclusion, is one that, frankly, we may not want to admit to, "...in the end the way to deepest happiness is through honest shame." (Page 155)
3 people found this helpful
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on October 7, 2009
The Shame Exchange is a book designed to aid the reader in dealing with condemning emotions. The authors methodically move through this easy-to-read resource as they define 7 aspects of shame and then reveal in two chapters the common methods of covering shame. They complete this work by informing the reader of how to deal with shame in a biblical manner.

There are a couple of reasons why I am not quick to recommend this book wholeheartedly. The first would be that a clear definition of shame seems to elude the reader through out the book. The authors state that "...by definition, shame makes you feel really bad. It's far more than embarrassment..." I came away not fully understanding what shame is and no real idea on how to identify it. It seems to be a feeling, a "sense", a "desire" or a "soul wretchedness".

The second reason would be that I perceived a slight "Gestalt" flavor of psychology in the book when I was reading it. There was the perception that the reader must "peel the layers" of their life back to find the origin of their shame. Let me be clear, it was not a strong suggestion, but the feeling remained with me as I read.

I liked the fact that the authors were using Scripture as the source of dealing with shame. They provided numerous biblical examples of individuals dealing with shame and adaquately gave the "healing ingredients" for the reader to deal with their own shame: (1) "readings in spiritual formation [must be a] mainstay", (2) "God's Word [is] foundational to...healing, and (3) [community] "the prayers of those who embodied the truths of God's love and acceptance were critical".

Based on these limited observations, I would recommend the book to the discerning reader, and see the use of a book good for stimulating conversation in a counseling type situation. I do appreciate the work and effort and vulnerability the authors poured into this work.
6 people found this helpful
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on January 5, 2010
"The Shame Exchange" is as much a personal experience as an excellent exploration and treatment of the topic of shame. I had expected the latter but got a lot more than I anticipated on the personal level. The stories that were revealed through a series of interviews not only served as teaching examples for the types and forms of shame, but also were very relatable so that my own story relative to shame began to be written right in front of me. I think we all have some general sense of shame but mostly have not ventured into its roots to find its hidden treasures; the secrets of our past that can unlock our future. The authors of this book have invited us into a journey that will take all we have to complete it and they have not offered it naively in terms of the pain that will be encountered and the resistance we will have to begin it. I appreciate that they do not present understanding shame as the ultimate solution to growth or emotional healing, but present it as a very foundational and important piece of all of our emotional puzzles.

This is a valuable work for further understanding shame, what it is, and what it is that we have been given in Christ's work on the cross that addresses it. This is such a key to the freedom and joy that our Father wants us to have. I think "The Shame Exchange" has broken new ground in its treatment of shame and thus is an important work that needs to be in the hands of as many as possible. This book gives a biblical look at shame that will take the gospel deeper into into the heart and bring a healing light to dark hidden corners. It gives us access to the Father's love in our most vulnerable areas and therefore a greater intimacy with Christ. Read it for your own growth and read it to understand and grow closer to those you love. Read it to to empower your ministry to those who hurt and to give your presentation of the gospel a powerful point of contact.

I think "The Shame Exchance" is a commendable work and a great gift to the Church.
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on November 13, 2009
Written by a team of two couples with many years of experience, this is a timely book for those who find themselves struggling with shame and guilt whether it their own or others.

An extensive list of real life examples and illustrations are noted throughout the book. What follows is a general discussion of the definition of shame and guilt and the suggestion that not all shame or guilt is bad.

An engaging concept and while reading the book you find that it is true. Some shame, some guilt is healthy and promotes repentance and reconciliation.

While the book is written to all, the focus seems to be mainly on those who have made a commitment to Christ.

All ideas in the book are biblically sound and therefore trustworthy. The application process of the `healing ingredients' provides a firm foundation for dealing with shame and guilt prompting the reader to solid approach to healing.

If I would note one criticism, it would be the shift in speakers. All four authors are interesting and offer great advice; however, the reader may struggle with the change in author.

I would recommend this book to any believer battling the issue of shame and guilt. The advice comes from four experienced authors and provides sound biblical advice.

Disclaimer:
The review copy of this book was provided free of charge by NavPress and has been donated to the library of Westwood Baptist Church.

Reviewed by Keiki Hendrix
Reviewed for NavPress
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on August 5, 2009
Just finished your book. Outstanding work. Valuable for anyone who wants a closer walk with Jesus and anyone who serves people. Thank you for lending your stories and talents to this book. May it have a broad and lasting ministry for years to come. Dr. Stacy Rinehart Founder, MentorLink
4 people found this helpful
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