In "The Thrill of the Chaste - Finding Fulfillment While Keeping Your Clothes On", Ms. Eden (a 30 something Jewish convert to Catholicism) takes on the destructive elements of the Sex and the City/Match.com speed-dating culture, mainly through her courage to reveal her own past as a willing player of today's "blink of an eye" dating game. Although written from a female perspective, it actually took me a while to finish, because I painfully saw a little too much of myself in it - as me thinks most of this generation also will (I mean, they'll see themselves, not me . . .everyone's an editor). I've already given out over a dozen copies, with my non-religious friends enjoying it even more than my church buddies.

Utilizing her own life, she lays out a hopeful GPS map for marriage minded women, revealing all the pitfalls, pit bulls, and boobie traps along the way (bad pun, I know). Quotes from Carole King to John Paul II, help keep the book as trendy as it is traditional, with a firm grasp on both.

While it is on the one hand a relationship guide, I tend to see it more as the story of the healing of a heart . . .or more to the point, the renewing of a heart.

It did leave this Bawlmer born bloggin' blogger with three small points, that I felt were not properly addressed:

1) The L Word - while she points out the Biblical/ Theology on the Body view that sex is part of the "one flesh union" of marriage, part of a forever commitment between a man and woman. Building on that premise, sex outside of marriage is actually, as Christopher West puts it, "telling lies with your body".

But another unintentional lie people often tell in relationships is the big "I Love You", words as Rev. James Dobson writes "should only be said after a decision on marriage has been made".Our hearts do tend to hear those words in forever terms, regardless of how easily we throw them about, so me thinks a good rule would be, the "L" word followed by ring one, and ring two followed by . . .well, you know (O:

2) Chasing the Chaste - I found out early on in my dating life, that if I wanted to have sex with a girl, to just keep my hands to myself (no, not like that), as within a few weeks the doubts and frustration about NOT being manhandled by me, would usually have the woman soon attacking this ex-long hair. I would get the same desired results, usually faster, with the positive benefit of appearing the gentleman . . .yes, diabolical I know, that's why I bring it up now.
Women repeat after me:
"He is not groping me, because he cherishes me",
repeat often.

Both the man and woman need to have a serious talk early on, where it is decided that there will be NO physical activity until they hear that "I do" (although I would suggest you make it out of the church parking lot).

3) Confession needs to be made - Yes, Miss Eden needs to confess to her priest that she has in fact been eating Ciabatta roles on the NY Subway, which is completely verboten, and a subject she blatantly, almost proudly, proclaims in her fine book. Get thee to a nunnery, Dawn Eden, get thee now!

Anyhow, I strongly recommend this beautiful book to anyone who feels marriage is there vocation, for both men and women, Christian or Jew, virgin or not-so virgin.

The author wrote this book to affirm the habit of chastity, which is abstaining from sex outside of marriage, countering the pervasive habit in our culture of having sex before marriage, or casual sex. The latter habit "views sex as a means to an end rather than the fruit of a loving relationship." She writes, "There's no question that in God's eyes, sex is a good thing...What is not good is having it for the wrong reasons, such as considering another person's mind, spirit, or body as something to posses or enjoy, rather than the whole person as someone to actively love ...The fruit of casual sex is the persistent habit of objectifying sexual partners, to the point of being unable to perceive people except in terms of how they relate to one's own wants and desires." (p. x)

Most people in our culture do not abstain from sex outside of marriage, and therefore they will not agree with doing so. But most people will be unable to intellectual and spiritually defend why sex outside of marriage is either good, or necessary to make a relationship work. It is neither. Dawn Eden gently and respectfully argues for restraint and self-control of our God-given sexual desires. This book is courageous, intelligent, and greatly needed to restore the lost virtue and practice of self-control.

I must admit that I was salivating over the thought of reading this book for months. I am an avid reader of Ms. Eden's blog, The Dawn Patrol, and her writing style impressed me. The book does not slack from her witty, concise, and current prose. She shares many of her experiences with unchastity in a humorous, frank manner. Most amazingly, she shares these intimate moments without being gossipy and gratuitous in detail. It is rare these days to find any popular books which don't contain gratuitous sexual imagery or innuendo, so for a book which is dealing heavily with this subject to handle it tactfully is very impressive.

Throughout the book, Ms. Eden wove in the Christian understanding of marital relations by juxtaposing it with the Sex and the City philosophy as espoused by Carrie Bradshaw from the popular television show. Not surprisingly, her experience taught her that television deluded its viewers. Television, and pop culture in general, had shown strong women as those who used sex to get love. She actively followed this philosophy for years until realizing that it had not led to any serious, loving relationship and, furthermore, it was turning her into someone who was incapable of finding such a relationship. Once she knew this, she began actively loving everyone, instead of just those who took her to bed. She turned herself into a loving person, so that she can hopefully find the man that the Lord has for her. Resigned that the Lord may have other plans for her, she shared how she is far closer to marriage now than she ever was in the past.

The book defied my expectations by being more than the memoir of a past, sinful life but also an insightful look into how the ways of the world had deceived a young girl while the ways of the Lord brought her hope and fulfillment, while keeping her clothes on.

As I consciously choose to journey into the chaste life - education, encouragement, support through scripture, and real life practicality is needed. This book fulfills that. I feel much more confident on my walk and found the instruction, advice, and candidness of the author relatable & easy to follow. Recommended for any young woman trying to get her mind & heart right on the subject of seeking love. Love doesn't = sex & the attention from men does not determine your self worth. This book hits home.