From the author of the blockbuster best seller The Game: a shockingly personal, surprisingly relatable, brutally honest memoir in which the celebrated dating expert confronts the greatest challenge he has ever faced: monogamy and fidelity.

Neil Strauss became famous to millions around the world as the author of The Game, a funny and slyly instructive account of how he transformed himself from a scrawny, insecure nerd into the ultraconfident, ultrasuccessful "pickup artist" known as Style. The book jump-started the international "seduction community" and made Strauss a household name - revered or notorious - among single men and women alike.

But the experience of writing The Game also transformed Strauss into a man who could have what every man wants: the ability to date - and/or have casual sex with - almost every woman he met. The results were heady, to be sure. But they also conditioned him to view the world as a kind of constant parade of women, sex, and opportunity - with intimacy and long-term commitment taking a backseat.

That is until he met the woman who forced him to choose between herself and the parade. The choice was not only difficult, it was wrenching. It forced him deep into his past, to confront not only the moral dimensions of his pickup lifestyle but also a wrenching mystery in his childhood that shaped the man he became. It sent him into extremes of behavior that exposed just how conflicted his life had become. And it made him question everything he knew about himself,and about the way men and women live with and without each other.

He would never be the same again.

Searingly honest, compulsively listenable, this new book may have the same effect on you.

Listening Length

17 hours and 21 minutes
Author

Neil Strauss
Narrator

Neil Strauss, see all
Audible release date

October 13, 2015
Language

English
Publisher

HarperAudio
ASIN

B00RMGSJY4
Version

Unabridged
Program Type

Audiobook
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Product details

Listening Length	17 hours and 21 minutes
Author	Neil Strauss
Narrator	Neil Strauss, Ione Skye, Jessica Sattelberger
Audible.com Release Date	October 13, 2015
Publisher	HarperAudio
Program Type	Audiobook
Version	Unabridged
Language	English
ASIN	B00RMGSJY4
Best Sellers Rank	#16,246 in Audible Books & Originals (See Top 100 in Audible Books & Originals) #24 in Sex Instruction #134 in Love, Dating & Attraction #391 in Biographies of Celebrities & Entertainment Professionals

Customer reviews

4.6 out of 5

1,074 global ratings

5 star		77%
4 star		14%
3 star		5%
2 star		2%
1 star		2%

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Eleanora

A reckoning for the mistress

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 27, 2022

Verified Purchase

This was a highly rated book on an entrepreneur’s booklist. I usually ignore his newsletter, but one fateful day, I opened it. This one drew me in. I was six months into recovering from the explosion of a 1.5 year affair with my married ex boyfriend. I learned from his wife a few months after he confessed to her, that he had disparaged me so greatly as a person. This angered me. I felt a deep betrayal. I felt violated. How could he be so cruel?! He was the most compassionate person I knew! What a liar! I played by all the rules. How could he do this? Not even a warning!

I was deeply wounded. Then I learned there were other women. He had an online mistress too. Did I even know this person? I never wanted more with him beyond our affair, but he was special to me. He was my first boyfriend. I lost my virginity to him. I loved him even though he had discarded me at 20 years old for another woman he was cheating on me with and even though he had confessed to me months before that he had cheated on me with several women. My young heart could not process this well. For years I buried the hurt by focusing on the things I liked about him. I never healed, and I made so many wrong decisions as I progressed in adult life. I had some therapy. I was told we were in a codependent relationship. I was told I was depressed. I was told later I had adhd. I was told to practice self love. I had no idea how to do it. When the opportunity for an affair came along, it was easy for me to fall right back onto his … yeah. All the validation I wanted flooded my soul. I filled my hole.

I wanted a book that would make me feel better as the vilified mistress. His family was blaming me. Friends chose his side. I was accused of enabling him in the affair, of seducing him. I wanted to scream my side of the story out into the world. Felt like no one would listen to me. Makes sense that Neil’s warning about infidelity says, “A lack of commitment, too much commitment, a poorly chosen commitment, and misunderstandings about commitment have led to murders, suicides, wars, and a whole lot of grief.“

Me: LOT OF GRIEF

Didn’t think this would be of much help for me as the grieving mistress, grieving the loss of someone who had become my close friend and confidante, grieving his betrayals, grieving the lose of friendships and people who had become family to me. But maybe, I thought, it would help me to understand his decisions better.

I was wrong. It was that AND more. I was able to identify my own traumas through Neil’s journey. I felt like I was growing up with this book. As much as I want to resent my ex for working things out with his wife right now, I can only wish that they find real love, especially knowing that they are also trying to heal their traumas. I find myself moving past the narcissism courses and all the psychoanalysis of who he is and wanting to do all the trauma healing work necessary on myself.

Neil is a gifted writer. There are so many gems I have highlighted in this one. One of my favorites:

“And so in life, the real obstacle keeping two lovers apart is not external. The battle to be fought is within […] in the end, love is not about finding the right person. It’s about becoming the right person.”

I want to share this book with so many people, and I wish I could give a copy to my ex and his wife, but they have completely cut me off, and as I learned to appreciate in this book — as they very well should, and as I should equally appreciate.

Thank you for your legacy of honesty, Neil Strauss.

4 people found this helpful

Helpful

JWH

There is a lot of truth in this book

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 3, 2016

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Neil Strauss is an interesting dude for sure. I do think he over-writes at times, and may take 100 words to say something that he could have said in 20. Some of the devices he uses (cartoons, excerpts from girlfriends' journals, photos) are a little gimmicky and detract from the power of the story. These are stylistic quirks that you just have to accept if you're interested in the author's thoughts and experiences, and I do think it's worth the investment of time.

The arc of the story is just plain fascinating, as he ejects from rehab pretty quickly and goes on his own journey of self-discovery and -diagnosis. I had expected this to primarily be a rehab book, so I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't that simple - he resists some (not all) of the ideas presented to him early on, and circles back to find his own way to relationship harmony. Along the way, he discloses some major secrets about himself and his family, which makes it riveting. Publishing this book was a real emotional risk for him, and you have to believe it has permanently altered some of his relationships. Few relationship books show this kind of first person rawness and vulnerability.

For fans of The Game, this one seems a little odd because the PUA vocabulary is completely missing from this book. That doesn't make sense to me, because when you start thinking of sexual relationships in term of alpha/beta, DHV, social proof, etc, it's hard to make that stuff completely disappear from your head. If removing that line of thinking was part of his journey, he doesn't discuss it. But when he assembles a harem of three beautiful women from different parts of the globe, it's hard to believe he isn't consciously using some of the techniques that Style and Mystery popularized. He also doesn't address the sort of existential crisis that PUAs can have, e.g. Mystery's breakdown that kicked off The Game. That would have created a better bridge between The Game and The Truth, which I would have appreciated since they are clearly intended to be bookends of some sort.

13 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Excellent Book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on September 2, 2020

Verified Purchase

What a journey! I found the book to be truly fascinating and educating. The difficult and painful emotional work and growth the author undertook was truly inspiring. The book was so interesting particularly with the many psychological, counselling and psychotherapy ( his experiences in re-hab) references along side his real relational experiences in the world. Would definitely read again sometime in the future and would also recommend to anyone who just wanted to learn more about life and relationships.

4 people found this helpful

Mr. R. M. Munoz

superb

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 9, 2017

Verified Purchase

As in life, when someone has the clarity of mind and courage to open up completely, one finds it impossible to not be impressed and sometimes even, humbled.
Neil has a way of making keeping the reader engrossed and a poignant way of imparting wisdom which so many self-help authors should envy. His demeanour always leaves me feeling as though he would be the kind of person I would be friends with, and whilst this may not be the case in reality, for getting a point across and making it stick - it works!
I think I'll read this again and again.

5 people found this helpful

Andris

Mindblowing psychological odyssey of a man discovering meaning of love and relationships

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on October 1, 2018

Verified Purchase

Wow. Didn't expect much from book, except some relationship tips and crazy stories, but book surpassed all my expectations.

Yes, as my friend said, it might be pretty uncomfortable read as truth itself is most of time hard to look at.

But book is beautifully written adventure. As the main character goes through his personal odyssey towards learning more then he ever though about true meaning of relationships.

3 people found this helpful

Michael Grist

Insightful but self-indulgent.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on November 3, 2015

Verified Purchase

A very interesting expose of the pimp-daddy lifestyle and insecurities that may underlie it, and how childhood trauma is a real wound that has impacts throughout life.
It is also quite self-indulgent, whiny, repetitive and overly bragging at times.

8 people found this helpful

Mark H

Interesting concepts, if a little tiresome

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on August 17, 2016

Verified Purchase

An interesting read, but gets a little tiresome after a while and took me several attempts to get through. But worthwhile; it has made me think about my own life and how I've been effected by my upbringing

5 people found this helpful

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