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  • The Warlizard Chronicles: Adventures with Vodka, Women, & War
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Customer reviews

3.9 out of 5 stars
3.9 out of 5
195 global ratings
5 star
45%
4 star
20%
3 star
20%
2 star
6%
1 star
9%
The Warlizard Chronicles: Adventures with Vodka, Women, & War

The Warlizard Chronicles: Adventures with Vodka, Women, & War

byWarlizard
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Top positive review

Positive reviews›
Mark
4.0 out of 5 starsShort but sweet
Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2012
This was funny and a definite kick up the ass to make you want to get up off the couch and live your life. Whether it's true or not who really cares, it's funny. It is also rather short, I read it in two relatively short sittings, could have done it in one really long one. Still a good read, and if you need acknowledgement that yes you are wasting your life, then this is it. Of course, this all applies to single or wish-they-weresingle straight men ages 18 - 40 or so. Anyone else probably won't get the same vibe, or enjoy it for what it is as much, seeing as how his main pursuit is picking up lots of girls, and doing stuff we would generally consider to be cool, at least the part of us that never grew up anyway ;).
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One person found this helpful

Top critical review

Critical reviews›
Bryce
3.0 out of 5 starsBoils down to Warlizard bragging about all the women he's slept with.
Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2013
Warlizard always seems to have interesting stories on Reddit, and so the idea of a book full of the stories he wrote sounded like an interesting idea.

The first story he told actually seems to be an example of what was to come. See, it starts off with a bang. Its crazy, its interesting, its funny. As the story progresses, however, it seems to lose focus, lose aim. Yeah, he's letting us know what happened, but it just sort of peters out. The rest of the book is the same. Some good hooks, or interesting premises, but ultimately, like I mentioned, mostly just stories of all the women Warlizard banged.

However, I must admit that there are a few really golden gems contained within, and that's why I gave the book three stars instead of one or two.
Specifically, there is a story about visiting East Germany after the Berlin Wall came down that is actually incredibly touching.
The story about rigging a kissing contest is pretty funny.
The "Bad Advice" section is also worth reading.
The rest... I don't know if it's really worth the purchase price.

I say give the preview a read, and realize that perhaps the craziest story is the first one he tells. If you can stand to read similar, but less insane and less entertaining stories over and over again to get to those gems, then go ahead and give the book a shot.
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9 people found this helpful

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From the United States

Mark
4.0 out of 5 stars Short but sweet
Reviewed in the United States on May 13, 2012
Verified Purchase
This was funny and a definite kick up the ass to make you want to get up off the couch and live your life. Whether it's true or not who really cares, it's funny. It is also rather short, I read it in two relatively short sittings, could have done it in one really long one. Still a good read, and if you need acknowledgement that yes you are wasting your life, then this is it. Of course, this all applies to single or wish-they-weresingle straight men ages 18 - 40 or so. Anyone else probably won't get the same vibe, or enjoy it for what it is as much, seeing as how his main pursuit is picking up lots of girls, and doing stuff we would generally consider to be cool, at least the part of us that never grew up anyway ;).
One person found this helpful
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Bryce
3.0 out of 5 stars Boils down to Warlizard bragging about all the women he's slept with.
Reviewed in the United States on August 4, 2013
Verified Purchase
Warlizard always seems to have interesting stories on Reddit, and so the idea of a book full of the stories he wrote sounded like an interesting idea.

The first story he told actually seems to be an example of what was to come. See, it starts off with a bang. Its crazy, its interesting, its funny. As the story progresses, however, it seems to lose focus, lose aim. Yeah, he's letting us know what happened, but it just sort of peters out. The rest of the book is the same. Some good hooks, or interesting premises, but ultimately, like I mentioned, mostly just stories of all the women Warlizard banged.

However, I must admit that there are a few really golden gems contained within, and that's why I gave the book three stars instead of one or two.
Specifically, there is a story about visiting East Germany after the Berlin Wall came down that is actually incredibly touching.
The story about rigging a kissing contest is pretty funny.
The "Bad Advice" section is also worth reading.
The rest... I don't know if it's really worth the purchase price.

I say give the preview a read, and realize that perhaps the craziest story is the first one he tells. If you can stand to read similar, but less insane and less entertaining stories over and over again to get to those gems, then go ahead and give the book a shot.
9 people found this helpful
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Sean
5.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining stories, though not for everyone
Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2012
Verified Purchase
For the cost of buying Warlizard a virtual beer, you get to spend an evening being regaled with pub stories of his adventures. He is a clear master of the craft, keeping you engaged with a quick pace and a sharp humour. His fantastic tales seem to reiterate, whether intentionally or not, that everyone is capable of living a life of personal achievement, it just takes a good attitude and tenacity in spades.
I bought this in awareness of the disparity in reviews, and frankly, the negative reviews are entirely accurate. These stories are testosterone-filled, revolve almost entirely around women and drugs/alcohol, and jump around at the authors whim. As such, this book is definitely not suited to all. If you identify with a touch of ADD, are looking for an injection of aggressive masculinity and think your life is boring, then the Chronicles are probably a good fit. If you don't tick those boxes, wait to see if he writes a more serious piece about his experiences while serving. While he's probably got the talent to do so, Warlizard is definitely not trying to please everyone with this book.
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M. Stark
4.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Collection of Stories
Reviewed in the United States on September 6, 2012
Verified Purchase
This book is written in very plain and straightforward manner - Warlizard has done interesting stuff in his life and you have not. In this book, Warlizard (that's his user name, not his real name) recalls tales from his misadventures over the course of his life while also trying to motivate the reader to get out and do something new. It's a light read and I finished it in two sittings. I really enjoyed it, mostly due to his frank nature when telling stories. I would have given it five stars if it were a little longer read.
2 people found this helpful
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A. Hellman
4.0 out of 5 stars Just like the guy you know with the funniest stories...
Reviewed in the United States on September 20, 2012
Verified Purchase
I liked the title and I'm so glad I decided to read it. The entire book reads well, casually and just like you are exchanging stories with the funniest guy you know. You know, that guy that you love going drinking with because he tells you the most awesome stories. It's not exactly cohesive, but it isn't meant to be. Undoubtedly it will offend some people, but if you aren't easily offended you will find this a great deal of fun.
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S. Thomson
3.0 out of 5 stars Entertaining
Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2013
Verified Purchase
This is an entertaining book. The stories can be pretty funny. After I finished it, I really felt like there was no reason to read another book by him. His adventures are well worth the read and time. It's a fun book for a flight or when you want something to read when time is available. Some of the stories seem over the top, but plausable.
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Spencer Neal
VINE VOICE
5.0 out of 5 stars Awesome Read!
Reviewed in the United States on July 26, 2011
Verified Purchase
Not only are these stories really well written, they are extremely hilarious. I would say there are some similarities to Tucker Max, but overall Warlizard is much better. I don't care if the stories are true or not, but they are so damn entertaining to read. And, at only $5.00, what a great bargain! How could you not read it? The main difference between the two tones in comparing work to Tucker Max is that Tucker Max is more often in a bragging tone whereas this guy is more matter of fact in here is some crazy stories of my life type of story teller. Also, his stories involve more than sex with crazy bimbos that have mental problems.

If you are on the fence, go to his website. [...], some of the stories are posted on there. Sample them and decide for yourself before buying. I took a gamble because the book was inexpensive but will be watching for more work from this guy.
2 people found this helpful
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SamAware
2.0 out of 5 stars The equivalent to a slightly warm beer!
Reviewed in the United States on January 22, 2012
Verified Purchase
I bought this book based on the majority of great reviews. I wish I had read the negative ones first, because those reviews are exactly what I see this book as: a half-assed, boring attempt to mirror the humor and wit of Tucker Max. Warlizard tells the occasional humorous story, and then proceeds to assure us how he's lived "life to the fullest and opened every door and never not seized the moment/opportunity." I get it, he lived a cool, adventurous life and has a lot to tell. But you hardly find the interesting stories in this book. I wish he has focused more on his time spent in the military in Germany, been more detailed about his deployment and experiences, because THAT would have made great reading material.

Anyone can have a ton of sex with crazy people but that doesn't mean all need to write books about it. You, Warlizard, are no Tucker Max!
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Thelonious B. Andit, Attorney at Lunch
5.0 out of 5 stars This is not a review.
Reviewed in the United States on May 19, 2011
Verified Purchase
This is not a review. This is an ultimatum. Buy this book.

Read this book and start living the life you deserve. Warlizard isn't even a person, he is an ideal, a goal. A little bit of Warlizard exists inside of all of us and reading this book made me realize that. Reading this book may produce the following side effects: an unquenchable thirst for life, a desire to master the elements, an urgent need to be awesome at all times. Warlizard lived the absolute dream and then told everyone about it in an completely captivating book. No one can read just one chapter. In fact, I ran an experiment to see if someone could by removing one chapter from my copy and asking a stranger to read it. She wanted to read more and demanded I produce the rest. Know what happened next? I'm dictating this review to an ER nurse. That's what happened next.
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Bryan Young
5.0 out of 5 stars Well worth your money
Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2011
Verified Purchase
Warlizard has certainly led a storied life. In this book, he recounts a disparate smattering of hilarious, hard to believe stories. Sure, the names have been changed to protect the innocent (and I doubt "Warlizard" is his real name), but it smacks of truth. Though he comes across as an arrogant jackass at times, the writing is very clean and has a kindness bubbling up beneath it. Some of the best stories are those that take place during the first Gulf War, when he was assigned to dig fox-holes in the sand, despite the fact that he was a German linguist working in intelligence.

I'm hoping that he decides to write another book, a fictional account of his war experiences in the mold of Catch-22 or Slaughterhouse 5. I think it would be hailed as a masterpiece.

But in the meantime, this tome will have to do.
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