Customer Reviews: The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live Like a King After the Outbreak
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on December 21, 2009
Etienne DeForest's book is racist, misogynistic, culturally insensitive, and peppered with both latent/blatant homophobia, homoerotic and bestiality references. It is violent and sexually explicit, and the author manages to both repeatedly offend and incite the reader, no matter one's predilections, in such a way that you have to keep reading in order to see if it gets worse. The book is also utterly hilarious. The author's tongue-in-cheek (and frequently self-deprecating) humor leaves no one spared: Christians, skin-heads, bikers, Easter Islanders, fat girls, alchemists-They all receive the same ridiculously funny treatment.

The Zombie Survival Guide: How To Live Like A King After The Outbreak isn't G-rated. It isn't the kind of book you should let your 13-year-old take to school, unless you're not opposed to suspensions or mandatory referrals to child psychologists. It also isn't the kind of book you want to read in public, unless you don't mind people staring at you when you're close to tears laughing. I read this book in an airport, and it wasn't long before a security guard on a Segway began making regular trips past me. Fortunately it was a quick read and I was able to board my plane without incident.

As a person who has never been excessively concerned with potential zombie outbreaks, I now feel very prepared should one happen. Not only do I have a working knowledge of weapons suitable for both long- and close-range attacks, I also have gained enough insight about the history, sociology, and biology of zombies to entertain dinner party companions for hours. DeForest is clever. The book isn't pretty, but then again, neither are zombie outbreaks. How effective this book is can only be determined once an actual outbreak has occurred, at which point I will be updating this review, because I plan on surviving.
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on July 21, 2010
That is correct. Here is another zombie survival guide type book I am reviewing. I promised Etienne I would have his review up as soon as possible. I apologize for having two `survival guide' reviews so close to each other. Etienne is a very funny guy, most people won't find his humor comical because he does go a little too far sometimes. It's not bad, I think he's hilarious. When I got the review request from him he made a comment that might have made someone else uncomfortable. I, on the other hand, found his comment very funny. Etienne quickly apologized for the comment and I told him I was dying of laughter, he replied that if I thought his joke was funny then I would dig his book.

Like most survival guides they like to start with reasons why the dead rise. Without a doubt Etienne explanations are my favorite. Not because of the information but of the way he presents them. Some pages have images that go along with the text. When he talks about the ancient Egyptians having the first known outbreak there's a picture of the mummification process, and the mummy has the word `brains' coming out of it like a comic book. There's many other images like that, for whatever reason the zombies rise there is a picture with a character saying the word `brains'. I still get a kick out of that.

I will skip a lot of sections in the book because I don't want to give too much away. I'll briefly mention the `Dealing with Humans After the Outbreak' section. The people Etienne describes are perfect. There really isn't much to this section but it is funny to read what people would possibly do during a zombie outbreak pimp out zombie hookers.

Moving on to the funniest section in The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live like a King After the Outbreak, `Zombie Training'. I couldn't stop laughing at how Etienne suggests you train your zombie. It consists of beating the zombie senseless until it stops coming after you. That's basically it. After your zombie submits you can teach it to cook you food, take a drive, and even play video games. There are awesome images of this in the book, which alone, are worth the price, to me that is.

Like I said before, Etienne's humor will not be for everyone. I have read some of the reviews about his book and I somewhat have to agree. He does take things a bit too far, but if you want to read some crude humor I suggest this book. It surprised me how easy Etienne's guide was to read. All the jokes were clear and everything flowed well. I still laugh at some of the images in the book. It's one of those things that once you see them they'll stay with you for a long time.

As far as rating goes, throughout the book I was thinking in my head `this is a solid 3 Undead Heads'. I was on the very last chapter, `The Zombie King', and I totally changed my mind. That was probably the funniest, most offensive chapter I have ever read. I was at work reading the ending during lunch and I busted out laughing. My eyes watered and everyone enjoying their lunch in the office looked at me. I went outside to compose myself. But keep in mind that I have a very good sense of humor. I don't find things offensive when it's presented to be for humor. I don't get the feeling of hatred from Etienne so I find it easy to laugh at his jokes. If it wasn't for that last chapter Etienne's book would have received a 3 but I will have to give The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live like a King After the Outbreak, 4 Undead Heads out of 5.
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on February 14, 2010
Sure, you think you know how to survive the coming Zompocalypse. I did too. But now I know that I was only fooling myself.

Head to a mall?... Are you crazy?

Stay sober and alert?... Are you kidding me, do you want to become infected?

DeForest lays it all down; A history of the Zombie, the science behind zombieism, and how to kill the beasts. But then he goes one step further. He explains, in insane detail, how not only to survive but to live LIKE A KING in the midst of all the chaos. IT CAN BE DONE! And DeForest shows you how.

This book's mix of "in your face" humor and subtle insinuation had my side hurting as I read. Wood or Plastic? Brian or Brain? Complete with visual aids, it made me laugh while forcing me to realize my limitations. From long range weapons to hand to hand fighting style, this book continues where Brooks left off. And, did I mention it is HILARIOUS?

If you want to be completely prepared for the outbreak (and deep down we all know it's coming), and you also want to laugh your arse off, buy this book now. If you want to wait around and let whatever happens control your fate, you still need the book. Might as well go out laughing and knowing what you should be doing, you slacker...
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on November 23, 2010
If I have learned one thing since getting my Kindle: PREVIEW PREVIEW PREVIEW

I bought this book along with World War Z and a bunch of other books when I first got my Kindle. The cover was cheesy but funny, and I was in the mood for what I thought would be a good zombie parody along the lines of Zombieland. It isn't a good parody. It is a barely tolerable book. The humor is course and geared toward teenage boys. The writing is choppy. If I had previewed the book first, I would have realized the sub-par production and writing. So my fault for not previewing. I'm definitely going to be more careful.
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on February 24, 2011
I bought this book thinking it would be along the lines of Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide.
Instead what I got was poorly written, and high school like level of wildly sloppy writing that I can only describe as utter garbage. The author almost literally mentions male genitalia more than zombies throughout the "book". I read over half the book hoping the humor would pick up, but it never did. At best this book is a high school interpretation of the classic Zombie Survival guide, filled with misspellings and repetative amounts of just plain poor humor.
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on October 8, 2012

Let's get this out of the way first:

●THIS IS NOT AN ABSOLUTE GUIDE FOR SERIOUS POST-APOCALYPTIC/ZOMBIE ATTACK SURVIVAL!!!! So if you are a hard-core survivalist, you might consider a different book.

●DO NOT BUY THIS BOOK IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED. It is not politically correct in any form. This is especially true if you are: Black, female, a Nascar fan, Jewish, a Nazi, a pimp, gay, Russian, in the Coast Guard, like techno music, or are anti-necrophilia. (I know I've left out a few categories, but you get the picture.)

●THIS IS NOT A CHILDREN'S BOOK. Yes, it does contain bits of history, archeology, religion, epidemiology, and biology. But it also contains a lot of cursing, racism, theories on male enhancement, and a training guide for turning zombies into sex slaves.

However, if you're someone who can see past those things, this is a pretty funny book. It won't prepare you for the end of the world, but DeForest has some humorous views on the history, cause, and uses of zombies. He pretty much makes fun of everyone, and I think he intended this book to be a parody of all "the-world-is-going-to-end-soon-and-zombies-are-coming-but-I'm-ready-are-you?" books out there. It's good for light reading, and it has pictures and illustrations!
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on November 22, 2012
I finished reading this on Thanksgiving day, waiting on the feast at my wife's uncle's house. After reading about eating brains I decided to ask my wife for some brain. As apposed to her on her knees. needless to say all I'm getting is the keys to the van and the drivers seat.

Etienne's Zombie survival guide is a laughable page quicky. Something you could pick up and read the day the outbreak starts. Maybe learn something. Funny that Max Brooks would even laugh at loud to.
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on October 9, 2011
A good short read with a lot of funny stuff. It's obviously tongue-in-cheek, so don't approach it as though you're going to get any real good gouge out of it on defending against zombies! There are some basic tips about zombies one might take to heart for the impending protests going on around the country since the protesters appear to be about as smart as zombies....there are some homophobic themes in the book as some other readers have mentioned, but the author alludes to his closet desires to be a peter-puffer himself, so it's all in fun.
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on February 20, 2011
There are several zombie survival guides out there, but none like this one. No other guide will explain how getting blackout drunk can help a zombie bite or how to turn a zombie into a sex slave. But luckily this one explains everything you need to know in order to "live like a king" after the zombie outbreak - from zombie crabs to zombie pimps.

The Zombie Survival Guide: How to Live Like a King After the Outbreak is crude yet hilarious. Several moments in the book had me laughing hysterically. Here's one of my favourite passages as an example:

When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is.

* If it replies "Brains," blow its head off.
* If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life.
* Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian."

That passage still cracks me up and there are plenty of other laughs. Including some from the amusing diagrams featured in the book.

But I should caution readers that if you don't like politically incorrect jokes, or get offended easily this is not the book for you. At times it can be racist, homophobic and just generally offensive. But as long as you don't take it too seriously, you'll find it funny.

The survival guide is very thorough including information on zombie history, origins of zombies, weapons, dealing with humans and zombies after the outbreak and training zombies. And it's a quick read at just 117 pages which fly by thanks to its entertaining content.

Overall, a very funny book that will "not only teach you how to survive the zombie outbreak, but how to do it with STYLE." If there is ever a zombie apocalypse this is the guide I will use to survive.
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on March 27, 2012
Without being able to say exactly why, this book was not exactly what I expected. I know these types of books have to be taken in jest, but it seemed like something was missing. Perhaps it was that I read the book in about an hour, which makes the value of the book somewhat low. A decent read overall.
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