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You are a hospital administrator and through a number of missions have to bring order and financial solvency to a selection of healthcare establishments. You will soon find out that this is no ordinary world populated with sick people; here the patients have such diverse illnesses as Bloaty Head (a huge inflated noggin), Invisibility (you can literally see through 'em) and Hairyitus (rendering them Yeti-like).
You have to create a hospital that caters for these extreme needs, using research and some of the more unethical scientific methods at your disposal to cure as many misfits as possible with the least amount of fatalities, all the while making sure that your edifice stays clean (and hopefully rat and vomit free) and making your trustees some cash.
The scenarios get gradually harder and harder, but the variety of options and diseases also unfold during the game, making it about as addictive as a game can be without having a health warning.
- Windows 95/98/Me/XP
- Pentium 75Mhz or faster
- 4x cd-rom drive
- 16mb ram
- DirectX 5 compatible graphics card
- DirectX 5 compatible sound card
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That sounds a lot like work, but what makes this game fun is the nature of these illnesses. Bloaty Head patients need to have a sharp pin jabbed in their heads to shrink them down. Elvis Impersonators need a psychiatrist's expert care to shed their delusion. Bald guys need a nice sit-down in what looks like a hairdresser's setting machine, while super-hairy people need a quick electrocution. Jellified people get solidly set. The noisome sufferers of The Squits need a quick drink from the nurse at the pharmacy to settle their insides. All the while, a perky British receptionist advises patients over the PA not to vomit in the corridors and to have their checkbooks ready. A mini-game pops up a few times wherein players must use various sorts of ranged weapons to shoot and kill rats in an empty hospital. Not sure what illness someone's suffering yet? Send them to the research room so they can be fed to a machine to analyze them better (and hope nobody official finds out about it). If you overwork your staff, they might just go loony, which is represented by skewed glasses or really wild hair. Not to be missed are the animations around the bathrooms--not only do you see the little straining faces and accompanying sound effects in the stalls, but you can also learn how many times this or that stall's been used. Little touches like these and many others make this game amazingly cool.
The mechanics of the game are not that hard to master, and the graphics hold up surprisingly well even in our modern day. There's nothing in this game that even children would find objectionable, nor anything that should offend any sensibilities--no cursing, sex, or violence. Even the bathroom stuff is pretty innocuous. For a game about diseases, Theme Hospital is quite a clean one. I'd recommend this game to anybody who enjoys simulators of this nature; it remains over a decade later one of the best of its genre. Even after beating it many times, I still enjoy playing it.
PS: This game works just fine on Mac OSX with Boxer; I've been running it this way for years.
Anyway, after searching online and trying some things out on my own, I found that the best way to play this on my computer was using DOSbox, a DOS emulater. It was a quick download and a (mostly) painless setup to make Theme Hospital. I had never used something like DOSbox before, but I figured it out, so I figure it must be really easy for people with computer know-how.
Here's the link for the page that helped me get it set up! Hopefully it will help others too! (Note: you can skip down to the second paragraph beneath the in-game pic, which starts "The final option...")
Within the HOSP file is an application file called "WINMAIN". This is the game's exe, just double click it to begin, or shorcut it to your desktop.
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though not working with my windows 7, brought some use to my XP.