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But How'd I Get in There in the First Place? Talking to Your Young Child About Sex Paperback – April 2, 2002
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From Library Journal
The "Go Parents!" series (e.g., Teaching Your Children Good Manners) is designed to infuse the task of carrying out parental responsibilities with humor and enjoyment. The latest entry tackles sexuality issues. Berkenkamp, a mother of four, and Atkins, a child psychologist, offer basic advice and information on what to expect for each age group, toddler to age 12, with a short sample question-and-answer section at the end. In a useful twist, they recommend asking children what they think is the answer to a question before beginning an explanation. Each chapter contains a games-and-activities section, a nice feature. This book is accessible, easy to read, and free of intellectual leanings. Recommended for public libraries with the caveat that it does not address teenagers. Roffman is a certified sexuality educator and author of Sex and Sensibility: The Thinking Parent's Guide to Talking Sense About Sex. Like her first book, this one takes a highly intellectual approach while conveying information through an excellent "five universal needs" structure (i.e., affirmation, information giving, values clarification, limit setting, and anticipatory guidance). But there are few sample dialogs, questions raised in one section may be answered unexpectedly much later or sometimes not at all, and the author assumes upper- to middle-class intellectual/cultural background and knowledge. An optional purchase; better buys are Sol and Judith Gordon's Raising a Child Responsibly in a Sexually Permissive World, which also addresses disabled youth, and Mary Calderone and James Ramey's Talking with Your Child About Sex, still valuable for its copious sample questions and answers. Martha Cornog, Philadelphia
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.
"Explains which questions to expect from children of different ages and gives sample answers in age-appropriate language." -- Child, September 2002
"This book is accessible, easy to read, and free of intellectual leaning." -- Library Journal, August 2002
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Roffman gives wonderfully humorous examples of how to follow a child's lead -- and when to listen and find out what the kid is actually asking, rather than what you, with that frog in your throat, mistakenly assume that he may want to know.
Having worked with many teens whose parents have waited until they are so old that talking about sexuality and relationships is viewed as a "hush-hush" conversation, I highly recommend this book to all parents as a way to help open up conversational ground wihtout fear. The more correct information that kids have from parents, from the start -- about their bodies and about healthy human relationships -- the better equipped they will be to interpret all the MISinformation that comes at them later, from the media and from their peers!
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright