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They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life Paperback – December 21, 2005
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From the Publisher
"If every parent were forced to read it before raising a child, it would do greater good for the happiness and prosperity of this country than any number of government initiatives." Alain de Botton, author of How Proust Can Change Your Life (on the UK edition)
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Overall it is a terrific book, and it helps sufferers to realize that they're not entirely to blame for being f***ed up. They can admit how damaged they are, but can also let go of the shame and confusion about who exactly did the damage. "They F*** You Up" is an engaging read. I encourage anyone who is on a journey in their own life or who would like to expand their knowledge to assist in client trauma resolution and other such things to read this.
Oliver James is a great writer, who shares his own experiences and talks about the importance of nurturance, or the lack therof, in the upbringing of people such as Prince Charles, Jeffrey Archer, and Woody Allen, among many interesting others. This really is a unique and valuable book and I'd encourage you to look through it's pages and then dive right in; it doesn't really matter if you start in the middle and then migrate back to the beginning.
I started re-reading the book the day following the first time I had read it, cover to cover. This is an important read for anyone who really wants to see what their parents did to them and how our problems are a direct reflection of the manner in which we were or were not nurtured by our caregivers, primary among them parents, and surrogates. The book discusses related scientific research in a clear, rational, thoughtful manner. The writing is insightful and original.
They F*** You UP is a good call to the way in which we can work towards changing the damage done by our parents through better life experiences, better relationships, and good therapy. Simply reading this book can put you on a good road towards feeling better and stronger.