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IN A CLASS ALL BY ITSELF... Consistently astounding as it unfolds in all its bizarre glory, and still unlike anything most viewers have ever seen. -Canuxploitation.com --Canuxploitation.com
DEFINES WHAT A CULT MOVIE REALLY IS. -Oh-The-Horror.com --Oh-The-Horror.com
Top Customer Reviews
But today, that all changed.
Today I saw the dvd of Things at the store. I saw the cover. I saw the man holding the drill, the man with the horrible mustache. It spoke to me. I knew, I had to buy it. I don't know why.
But then I watched it.
and then I knew.
Never in my life have I seen a film that changed me. Changed how I saw the world. Changed how I saw everything.
This is Things.
A man tells a naked woman wearing a devil mask he wants her to have his child. I think that's what he said. But does it matter?
This is Things
A man takes his friend to visit his brothers house in the woods. They have beer. People die.
This is Things.
A killer ant creature pops out of a stomach.
This is Things
and this is where I will stop describing it. Please, don't read any other reviews. I didn't. I feel I have said too much already.
You think you know what a movie is? You think you know what acting is? You think you know Plot?
No, you don't.At all.
This is Things.
If this DVD were 100 dollars, I would buy it. I consider this my most prized DVD. And I have the suitcase edition of Blade Runner.
I haven't even seen any of the Special Features yet. I think the film itself is the best Special Feature, anyways.
I plan to show this to everyone I know. My girlfriend, My mother, all of my friends. I will tell random people in the street to buy this DVD.
The back of the DVD says this is either the work of a Genius, or a madman.
I think both.Read more ›
Directed by Andrew Jordan and made for roughly $40,000.00 in 1989, the 8mm cinematic oddity that is Things, the first Canadian straight to video horror film, begins with a mind boggling scene in which a man named Doug (Doug Bunston) heads into his basement where he sees a woman in a devil mask. He tells her he wants her to have his baby, she undresses but keeps the mask on, and then tells him that she already has. At this point she hands him a bassinette with a clawed infant inside, and it's looking for a moment like we might be heading into Rosemary's Baby territory - but we're not. It's all a horrible dream, he realizes this as he wakes up on the couch, after which he heads into the kitchen and searches the cupboards before heading into the bedroom to check on his wife, Susan (Patricia Sadler), who is ill. He gives her some painkillers and they work almost immediately
Cue the opening credits, video generated titles over top of footage of trains for some reason, possibly to give us the illusion that we're driving in a car. Shortly after the credits, we see a car arrive at a remote house in the woods - two men hop out, Don (Barry J. Gillis, who also wrote and produced) and Fred (Bruce Roach) - who have shown up to hang out with Doug, who we soon learn is Don's brother. They let themselves in but Doug is nowhere to be seen so they amuse themselves by drinking all of his beer, rummaging through his stuff, putting Don's coat in the freezer and listening to a tape that they find lying around. They assume that since Doug isn't here that he must be `wasted out of his mind' and they look through a book called The Horror Of One Thousand Ugly Cuts. None of this is making much sense, right? Right.Read more ›
I thought I knew what I was getting into with the tape recorder in the fridge and the ant monsters. Unleash the gates and let some weird, demon spawn out. Ok, I'm in.
But then everything starts to fall apart. Into pieces I can't really put back together again. But they don't need to because it all, somehow, in some way, makes strange, jaded, jagged, undefinable sense. It doesn't matter what is happening because this movie is unrelenting in its insanity. Not intensity or in-your-face-ness, just its strangeness and wierdness that doesn't stop.
It has to be seen to be believed. And I am now a believer in Things.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Things is the best worst movie you will ever see. Everyone says that because it's the truth. No one enjoys this movie more than the guys who made it, ha! Read morePublished 4 months ago by Jill G
I don't know where to begin with Things, first off I think if you can sit through the whole Movie there should be a Club you get in or some sort of a Prize. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Dignan 1996
Extremely entertaining, definitely the worst movie I've seen in every department besides entertainment. Read morePublished 4 months ago by Amazon Customer
This was a treasure deep in the bargain bin of video stores, not a good movie but a weird as hell movie. More of a dare to watch than a MST3K. Entertainment for weirdosPublished 8 months ago by scary-art
This isn't a review, this is a warning. I cannot express enough how genuinely, mind-meltingly, incomprehensibly bad this film is. Read morePublished 12 months ago by Ryan