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Think Geek Canned Unicorn Meat

4.5 out of 5 stars 638 customer reviews
| 89 answered questions
About the Product
  • Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can.
  • The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside. No can opener needed!
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Frequently Bought Together

  • Think Geek Canned Unicorn Meat
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  • Accoutrements Yodelling Pickle
Total price: $26.26
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Product Description

No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.

Product Information

Technical Details
Item Weight4.2 ounces
Product Dimensions9.8 x 9.8 x 3.9 inches
UPC856260002793 885428219278
Item model numberTGE5A7
Target genderUnisex
Material Typecotton
Batteries requiredNo
  
Additional Information
ASINB0089KZPNU
Best Sellers Rank #3,959 in Baby (See top 100)
Shipping Weight5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  
 

Customer Questions & Answers

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Do NOT eat too much of this stuff at once. I had the rainbow runs for a week. The entire complex smelled like hopes and dreams.
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When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah, the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it.

Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward).

Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills. California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.

I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.
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I was pleasantly surprised by the unicorn meat, even though canned. it is more tender than the centaur i've had, and far less stringy than faun.

my only concern is that after feeding it to my infant son, his diaper was filled with skittles.
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Of course this isn't as good as fresh, but who has time to hunt unicorns these days?

I'm a busy professional so I don't have the luxury of just grabbing my bow and quiver and spending days in the high glens hunting fresh 'corn. This product allows me to come home from a hectic day and enjoy a meal packed with that special nutrition only unicorn can provide. I even keep a few cans at the office for those late nights.

But seriously, this is a great, funny and 'tasteful' gag gift. We received ours from a relative last Christmas and as it was unwrapped everyone burst out in laughter when we saw what it was. The unicorn meat comes in a Spam-shaped can, complete with funny but realistic product information on the side labels.

This gift was enjoyable enough as it was, but then my wife pointed out that the can lid can be pried off to reveal plush unicorn 'parts' inside. Very clever and a great deal of fun for the price. I'm going to be giving a few out to co-workers this Christmas.

One last note: I don't think this gift would be appropriate for small children due to the small stuffed parts as they might be a choking hazard.
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By C.S.M. on January 8, 2015
Verified Purchase
It's probably the most amazingly delicious meal I've ever had!
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Tasty, savory unicorn morsels in a natural au jus gravy.
We sauteed mushrooms and onion in fairy butter and then added the meat and gravy straight from the can....Delicious! (see our stove top photo!)
We added a pinch of Cavenders Greek seasoning to round out the flavor, but it could be served as is straight from the can.
The only drawback was some at the table were burping glitter clouds and tooting rainbows.
I think this was simply because they ate too much.
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Don't order this product if you have a conscience. The unicorns in the industrial unicorn farms live in appalling conditions, in many cases worse than those of the pegasus ranches. Don't believe the propaganda of Lisa Frank and the other tycoons of big unicorn; all that awaits these poor creatures is the abattoir and the rainbow factory. Be ethical and buy (kosher) dragon meat instead.
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The installation instructions were totally wrong.
I ended up with pieces of unicorn all over the place and my nose caught in the DVD player.
Again.
6 Comments 338 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
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