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Think Geek Canned Unicorn Meat

4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 619 ratings

Currently unavailable.
We don't know when or if this item will be back in stock.
Brand Think Geek
Size 0.25 Pounds
Flavor Beef
Item Weight 4 ounces
Cuisine US

Product Description

No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real! Excellent source of sparkles! Rick Bite Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat. Tasty Magical Beast Diagram Parts Unfortunately, due to restrictions on the importation of mythical processed meatstuff, we are unable to bring you Canned Unicorn Meat in the way the Sisters of Radiant Farms intended. When you open your can, you will find one tiny unicorn which has been appropriately sliced into its main cuts of meat. Simply use your Growth Ray to re-embiggen the unicorn before skinning it and processing its flesh. Or if you're lazy, just bring it to your local Mad Scientist-Butcher. He'll know what to do.

Product details

  • Is Discontinued By Manufacturer ‏ : ‎ No
  • Product Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 3.15 x 1.18 x 2.36 inches; 4 ounces
  • Manufacturer recommended age ‏ : ‎ 16 years and up
  • UPC ‏ : ‎ 856260002793
  • Manufacturer ‏ : ‎ ThinkGeek
  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B004CRYE2C
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 619 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
619 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the meat funny, gag-worthy, and tasty. They mention it makes a great conversation piece and is a creative gift. Customers are also satisfied with the quality and product quality. However, some customers differ on the value for money and size.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

79 customers mention "Humor"71 positive8 negative

Customers find the humor of the meat to be funny. They say it makes a great icebreaker and conversation starter. Some customers also mention that it brings happiness, smiles, and giggles.

"...my experience, the product does what it says... it brings happiness, smiles, giggles, and all the other wonderful things only unicorn meat can bring..." Read more

"...Well, the joke is on him because I bought him the unicorn meat! This item is funny. Sick, twisted, but funny...." Read more

"...I thought the item was a bit on the small side, but it was so funny to open the can and have a stuffed, dismembered unicorn come out...." Read more

"...That was when she opened the can. Oh my god. It was hilarious...." Read more

59 customers mention "Gag value"59 positive0 negative

Customers find the meat to be a great gag gift. They mention it's creative, cute, and fine for special occasions. Readers also say reading the packaging is fun.

"What can I say that others haven't? This is one of the funniest gag gifts I have ever come across...." Read more

"This was a great gag Christmas gift for my mom. Watching her try to figure out if there was real meat in the can was priceless...." Read more

"...It was very high in quality and even the package it comes in is wicked funny...." Read more

"...Reading the packaging is so much fun. Think Geek did a wonderful job being creative and funny. Give in and buy it. You wont be sorry." Read more

52 customers mention "Taste"40 positive12 negative

Customers like the taste of the meat. They say it's pretty tasty, has a strong flavor of sunshine and rainbows, and is amazing. Customers also say the product exceeds their expectations with its nutrition facts and the ingredients are funny and creative.

"...The Canned Unicorn Meat from Radiant Farms is delicious, as promised on the tin. I appreciate the manufacturer's use of magically neutral metal...." Read more

"...This was to be my first introduction to Unicorn, far and away the most savory, flavorful meat I have ever tasted in my life. The texture? Perfect...." Read more

"...Unicorn cakes with it (you can google for the recipe) - the taste was a honey sweet with a sparkling aftertaste...." Read more

"...It tells about unicorn cuts of meat and the nutritional information is really witty." Read more

34 customers mention "Creativity"34 positive0 negative

Customers find the product creative. They mention it's cute, clever, and well-presented. Some say the box is interesting and funny to read.

"...MORE HILARITY!!! It's kind of cute and morbid, all at the same time. I can assure you, the canned unicorn meat will not disappoint...." Read more

"...Perfect. Every bite felt like the first bite. Tender, juicy, magical...." Read more

"This is adorable. I bought it for a Christmas gift for my grown daughter who loves Unicorns...." Read more

"...A lot of fun and well presented." Read more

10 customers mention "Quality"10 positive0 negative

Customers are satisfied with the quality of the meat. They mention it's top-quality and only to be used in the highest-quality foods.

"...It was very high in quality and even the package it comes in is wicked funny...." Read more

"...Also the price was really good, it got here fast and it was in perfect condition." Read more

"...Perfect white elephant gift too. Well made, the unicorn itself is better made then most of our kids toys. Very pleased." Read more

"...This item came on time and was in great condition. We have been eating unicorn meat for the last few days and its horrible...." Read more

8 customers mention "Product quality"8 positive0 negative

Customers are satisfied with the quality of the meat. They mention it's a great product and goes over well.

"This product is great!!! I love cooking with unicorn meat. I think the more endangered the animal it, the better it tastes...." Read more

"...It went over well and made everybody laugh!" Read more

"...I feel more radiant when I eat Unicorn Meat. Great product and great conversation piece...." Read more

"This is one of the greatest products that has ever been created. The look on your friends faces when they see it will be priceless." Read more

28 customers mention "Value for money"15 positive13 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the value for money of the meat. Some mention it's well worth the money, while others say it's a little pricey and an expensive gag gift.

"...Also the price was really good, it got here fast and it was in perfect condition." Read more

"...It was fun, but not really worth the price." Read more

"...Needless to say I didn't eat any, but was well worth the money." Read more

"...A little pricey for a joke, but worth it in the end." Read more

11 customers mention "Size"4 positive7 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the size of the meat. Some mention it's small and a great gag gift for the price, while others say it's much smaller than they expected.

"...The can was a bit smaller than I expected. I did take off one star because it was difficult to open. We had to use a can opener to get the top off...." Read more

"...It is the perfect size to fit in her stocking and is really funny (even for a 3 year old)" Read more

"It's a lot smaller than it looks. Maybe 3" wide. Can is very light, so anyone who picks it up will immediately know its fake...." Read more

"Great gag gift for very tiny for the price. 15 bucks was a little steep to give someone a laugh." Read more

YUMMY!!! Just don't tell the kids til after they've eaten
5 out of 5 stars
YUMMY!!! Just don't tell the kids til after they've eaten
Tasty, savory unicorn morsels in a natural au jus gravy.We sauteed mushrooms and onion in fairy butter and then added the meat and gravy straight from the can....Delicious! (see our stove top photo!)We added a pinch of Cavenders Greek seasoning to round out the flavor, but it could be served as is straight from the can.The only drawback was some at the table were burping glitter clouds and tooting rainbows.I think this was simply because they ate too much.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on March 15, 2012
What can I say that others haven't? This is one of the funniest gag gifts I have ever come across. It is also a great conversation piece, and people receiving it love it! I've already recently bought and given away two of them, and both recipients have gotten a HUGE kick out of it! They have actually gone out of their way to show others because they thought it was so hilarious!

It is cleverly packaged, all the way down to the ingredients list, description of the qualities of the meat, story behind how the unicorn meat is harvested, and the diagram of different cuts of unicorn meat on the back of the tin... HILARIOUS I tell you! The bottom of the can is easily popped open to reveal a... wait for it... small dismembered stuffed unicorn! MORE HILARITY!!! It's kind of cute and morbid, all at the same time. I can assure you, the canned unicorn meat will not disappoint. From my experience, the product does what it says... it brings happiness, smiles, giggles, and all the other wonderful things only unicorn meat can bring to your recipient. Good times...

Oh yeah. I almost forgot to mention something. You will definitely be asked this question a lot... "Where did you get that?!" Just a heads up so you are prepared to give an answer, whether truthful (boring) or not (fun)!
7 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2011
Every time we make up "wish lists" for Christmas or birthdays, my son puts unusual things on his list. He snickers as he adds in items that do not exist or would be difficult to obtain. He's asked for a pet dragon, $1,000,000, and more recently-unicorn meat.

Well, the joke is on him because I bought him the unicorn meat! This item is funny. Sick, twisted, but funny.

The can opens to a dismembered stuffed unicorn (the pieces are stiched closed so the stuffing doesn't exist), and you are given a guide to what the different parts are for. It's like a guide for the butchering of a cow, but labeled as dreams, wishes, sparkles etc. instead of as roast, rump...

I cannot wait for him to open this. My other children have been giggling about this now for two weeks. My daughter said to me, "I can see I should be careful about what I put on my lists from now on..."
66 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on June 24, 2013
It has been two weeks since we left Navlia, and I grow wary of the rations Waine bought while we were in town. The Canned Unicorn Meat from Radiant Farms is delicious, as promised on the tin. I appreciate the manufacturer's use of magically neutral metal. The side effects are what concern me.
Normally a jovial fellow, Waine has begun constantly playing practical jokes, and laughing in even the direst of circumstances. I myself have found that my anger and my focus have dulled noticeably. This is not acceptable, for our very lives depend on our abilities to stay sharp and keep our wits about us as we near the Tower.
Should we survive the days ahead, I plan on visiting this farm, and investigating their business practices. I worry about the scale of their operation, what the consequences might be- if the harvesting of these majestic creatures might have unintended results in the future.
Apprentice Swordceror (The Blademage Saga)
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 14, 2012
While vacationing in the Enchanted Forest in the Summer of 2007, I happened upon a quaint little Bed & Breakfast near the River of Dreams. The kindly old lady who ran that B&B welcomed me with open arms, and promised me a delicious home cooked meal after I had unpacked my things.

This was to be my first introduction to Unicorn, far and away the most savory, flavorful meat I have ever tasted in my life. The texture? Perfect. Every bite felt like the first bite. Tender, juicy, magical. Grilled in its own sparkly juices, I felt the 'corn blood filling up inside me... Creating a light-headed euphoria which would last until I had finished the last of my side dishes.

But this??? A disgrace.

Radiant Farms has packaged something so foul, I doubt it even comes from the horse family. While they claim their product is an "excellent source of sparkles," I counted just 7 dim sparkles, and only after taking a flashlight to it. The meat was gamey and bland, not at ALL indicative of genuine, free range unicorn meat.

I'm an older man now, and a lot has changed since that chance encounter in the Enchanted Forest. I barely speak to any of my elf friends any more, and I can't even remember the last time I took in a sunset at Fairy Tale Gorge. I was really hoping that Radiant Farms would have come up with something that could take me back to better days, but alas... I will probably die before I am able to revisit that quaint little bed and breakfast and thank the little old lady one last time.

Sure, I eventually discovered that she was a witch and only trying to fatten me up... But I escaped. And that... Is a story for another time.
104 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2015
Here's a real review of the product. I bought this for my office's white elephant gift exchange last Christmas. I expected it to get a few chuckles once opened, but it was the most popular item there! As soon as a coworker opened it, my boss exclaimed that it was the coolest thing ever and he was going to steal it when it was his turn. Sure enough he did! So not only did everyone crack up at it, I got cool points with the boss. I thought the item was a bit on the small side, but it was so funny to open the can and have a stuffed, dismembered unicorn come out. I got mine prime for $15, but prices seemed to have gone up. All around a funny gag gift, just make sure your recipient has a sense of humor.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on January 20, 2015
This was a great gag Christmas gift for my mom. Watching her try to figure out if there was real meat in the can was priceless. The can was a bit smaller than I expected. I did take off one star because it was difficult to open. We had to use a can opener to get the top off. It would have been much better with a pull tab on top.

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