Some people say that Thirteen Reasons Why glamorizes suicide.
In the novel, Hannah Baker takes her life and leaves behind cassette tapes that retrace her steps and explain her reasons.
There is never a moment I envy Hannah Baker or want to be her—before, during, or after. What happened to her seemed anything but glamorous.I’d go so far as to say the story makes it clear that taking your life is not the solution; that there is always hope. A few minutes, days, or weeks could make all the difference in the world.
TRW also makes me glad I went to an all-girl high school. I didn’t have to put up with that crap—at least not in school. The book provides good examples of how not to behave, how not to treat others. It also brings to light how little thought teens give to how their behavior may affect someone else, although, this is sadly true of adults as well.
That’s one of the messages in Thirteen Reasons Why. We need to be kinder to each other.
No doubt, some people will read this book and see it all differently. They’ll see that Hannah is talked about more and with more sensitivity after her death. They’ll see that people feel guilty. They may think that would bring satisfaction, but true bullies who destroy other human beings are not usually the ones who feel guilty. They don’t have consciences.
To a lesser degree, Hannah Baker lacks empathy herself in this story and is rather self-absorbed. That’s okay. Victims don’t need to be depicted as saints. A character can be tragically flawed in fact, and still not deserve the torment. It is normal for a trauma survivor to go through a period of victimhood that includes a great deal of introspection and a degree of self-pity. She has a human response to a rude and painful awakening. Yes, trauma does quite a number on the psyche. It changes a person, causing behavior that won’t make sense even to the survivor. The point is, what happened to Hannah Baker should not have happened to anyone. It’s sad that she’ll never have the chance to heal and evolve beyond what she became, so it’s a story worth telling and worth telling right.
I'm willing to bet that most of us can make a list of at least thirteen people who screwed us over and/or possibly scarred us for life. Some of those reasons might be the same or worse than what Hannah Baker experienced, but, for most of us, suicide was never an option we considered.
We are all different. We have varying degrees of ability to cope, and those who are coping may be at less challenging stages of the healing process. For some of us, a burden is a challenge, and we push back. No matter what, we keep pushing. But not everyone can do that. It’s not weakness, and it’s not for lack of trying. We are where we are. None of us have control over the circumstances we are born into or everything that happens after that. We can’t be sure why we take the paths we take or what we need to learn. Healing begins when we are ready. It’s a long, grueling process that, unfortunately, some people will never begin.
I think it's safe to say that Thirteen Reasons Why will be triggering for certain people and not others.
There’s always a chance that any one of us will find something we read, see, hear, or experience to be triggering. But we can’t shy away from controversial subjects or prevent others from having those important conversations. For those wanting to sue and to ban, do we want to set that precedent? Where would we draw the line? Would we have to stop talking about rape, about murder, about mental issues, and about everything that could be triggering? I hope not!
Thirteen Reasons Why focuses on raising the level of awareness for bullying/harassment/character assassination, etc. and depicting how the victim feels—how a suicide victim feels. Hannah, in my opinion, sought to educate the culprits. She may have wanted them to feel her pain, too, but more for their benefit, I think, than in retaliation. As a trauma survivor, I can relate to wanting to raise the level of awareness. Even if the people who need to hear it most are not listening, someone is. And making a difference to anyone at all is a great start.
In light of the above, and because it is a profound experience for the reader, I give Thirteen Reasons Why five stars. I felt like a part of the story, swept right in and completely absorbed, turning page after page. I loved the powerful descriptions of how the characters felt in critical moments. The book, beautifully written and straight from the heart, shows compassion in abundance, and it brought me to tears.
Co-protagonist, Clay Jensen, in fact, shows considerable empathy while listening to Hannah’s tapes. He wants to understand what happened to Hannah. He not only forces himself to listen to every excruciatingly painful word—he follows her instructions, putting himself in her place and allowing himself to feel what she felt.
Imagine living in a world where everyone sought to understand one another like that!
That would be beautiful indeed!
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Reviews with images
Grabbed me after the first few pages!
This book… oh where to start! Thirteen Reasons Why had my attention from the get-go and I found it hard to put down, mostly because Clay seemed so sweet that I just NEEDED to know what the heck he could have possibly done to be on the tapes. (No spoilers below, so feel free to read on, though I am not sure my opinion will be a popular one!)It was heart wrenching at times to hear how each of the people played a part in Hannah taking her life. High school is hard for a lot of people, it was for me too, and I know that situations during that time can feel like they are life or death type of things… it’s oh so dramatic.That being said, I did not relate to Hannah or feel bad for her in most parts of the book. I think we have all gone through tough times and while she didn’t always get the luckiest break, she did absolutely nothing to stand up for herself – and we were supposed to sympathize and feel bad for her? I don’t think so. I think she brought a bunch of the “reasons” on to herself and I couldn’t relate or see why she didn’t speak up when she had the opportunity a few times even. That didn’t stop me from flying through the pages though, but once I finished Clay’s tape, I definitely lost interest, but kept going to find out how things ended up.Also, I tried to watch the show afterwards and it was TERRIBLE. People have been raving about it and I had to force myself to sit through episodes and I have yet to finish the series. It’s way too drawn out and melodramatic… I just can’t.I am giving it 3.5 cupcakes, since it held my attention, even though Hannah annoyed me. I mostly tried to focus on Clay and the stories that were told.
Top reviews from other countries
Emanuelle Bergeron
One of my favorite books
Reviewed in Canada on December 27, 2023
Suzan van den Broek
Niet verzorgd geleverd
Reviewed in the Netherlands on December 17, 2022