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This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It (John Dies at the End) Hardcover – October 2, 2012

4.7 out of 5 stars 1,087 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Booklist

Wong—in reality Cracked.com writer Jason Pargin—follows up his comic horror novel John Dies at the End (2009) with this wildly out-there sequel. Best friends John and Dave live in a smallish town that seems to suffer from a surfeit of supernatural and suspicious events. The story begins with a local cop being, um, intruded upon by a spiderish creature that turns its victim into, um, a zombie-like individual, and it gets a whole lot weirder from there. Wong, the book’s first-person narrator and also one of its central characters (John being “John Cheese,” a fellow Cracked.com contributor) focuses mainly on the laughs and the strange goings-on, but there’s a very interesting idea here: What if the current pop-culture zombie mania could lead to a pseudo-zombie apocalypse? What if, in other words, enough people believe in something to turn it into reality? And how do a couple of slacker dudes defeat a creature that, technically, doesn’t even exist? Full of laughs and goofiness, the book should definitely appeal to fans of John Dies at the End and to readers of comic horror fiction in general (especially, it should be noted, fans of British novelist Tom Holt, who will be familiar with the same sort of whimsy and ordinary-guy-in-extraordinary-situation environment.) --David Pitt


“Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller that makes zombies relevant again… From the dialogue to the descriptions, lines are delivered with faultless timing and wit. Wong never has to reach for comedy, it flows naturally with nary a stumble… the most pertinent story of the genre since George Romero's Dawn of the Dead… a tighter, more concentrated read than John Dies at the End… David Wong (Jason Pargin) is a fantastic author with a supernatural talent for humor. If you want a poignant, laugh-out-loud funny, disturbing, ridiculous, self-aware, socially relevant horror novel than This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It is the one and only book for you.” ―SF Signal

“The comedic and crackling dialogue also brings a whimsical flair to the story, making it seem like an episode of AMC's "The Walking Dead" written by Douglas Adams of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." …Imagine a mentally ill narrator describing the zombie apocalypse while drunk, and the end result is unlike any other book of the genre. Seriously, dude, touch it and read it.” ―Washington Post

“[A] phantasmagoria of horror, humor--and even insight into the nature of paranoia, perception, and identity.” ―Publishers Weekly, starred review

“Violence, soy sauce and zombie survivalists abound in this clever and funny sequel to John Dies at the End (2009). One of the great things about discovering new writers, especially in the narrow range of hybrid-genre comedic novels, is realizing that they're having just as much fun making this stuff up as you are reading it. Sitting squarely with the likes of S.G. Browne and Christopher Moore, the pseudonymous Wong (Cracked editor Jason Pargin) must be pissing himself laughing at his own writing, even as he's giving fans an even funnier, tighter and justifiably insane entry in the series.... The humor here is unforced and good-naturedly gory. Anyone who enjoyed the recent films The Cabin in the Woods or Tucker & Dale vs. Evil will find themselves right at home. An upcoming (cult?) film adaptation of John Dies at the End promises to lure new readers. A joyful return to the paroxysms of laughter lurking in the American Midwest.” ―Kirkus

“The rare genre novel that manages to keep its sense of humor strong without ever diminishing the scares; David is a consistently hilarious narrator whose one-liners and running commentary are sincere in a way that makes the horrors he confronts even more unsettling.” ―The Onion AV Club on John Dies at the End

John Dies at the End is like an H.P. Lovecraft tale if Lovecraft were into poop and fart jokes.” ―Fangoria on John Dies at the End

“Sure to please the Fangoria set while appealing to a wider audience, the book's smart take on fear manages to tap into readers' existential dread on one page, then have them laughing the next.” ―Publishers Weekly on John Dies at the End

“…strikes enough of a balance between hilarity, horror, and surrealism here to keep anyone glued to the story.” ―Booklist on John Dies at the End

“A loopy buddy-movie of a book with deadpan humor and great turns of phrase...Just plain fun.” ―Library Journal on John Dies at the End

“You can (and will want to) read JOHN DIES AT THE END in one sitting.” ―BookReporter.com on John Dies at the End

“Wong blends horror and suspense with comedy―a tricky combination―and pulls it off effortlessly.” ―FashionAddict.com on John Dies at the End

“It’s interesting, compelling, engaging, arresting and--yes--sometimes even horrifying. And when it’s not being any of those things, it’s funny. Very, very funny.” ―January Magazine on John Dies at the End

“This is one of the most entertaining and addictive novels I've ever read.” ―Jacob Kier, publisher, Permuted Press on John Dies at the End

“The book takes every pop culture trend of the past twenty years, peppers it with 14-year-old dick and fart humor, and blends it all together with a huge heaping of splatterpunk gore…. Successfully blend[s] laugh-out-loud humor with legitimate horror.” ―i09.com on John Dies at the End


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Product Details

  • Series: John Dies at the End (Book 2)
  • Hardcover: 416 pages
  • Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books; 1 edition (October 2, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9780312546342
  • ISBN-13: 978-0312546342
  • ASIN: 0312546343
  • Product Dimensions: 6.5 x 1.4 x 9.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1,087 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #301,688 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Nickolas X. P. Sharps VINE VOICE on October 2, 2012
Format: Hardcover
SYNOPSIS: Unlikely heroes Dave and John unwittingly bring about the "zombie" apocalypse. Faced with an impending doom of a ridiculous nature the two must get to the bottom of the mystery and save the world.

MY RATING: Five Stars

PROS: Side-splitting laughs, nail-biting horror, heroes worth cheering for, and a homemade triple barrel shotgun.

CONS: It ends.

VERDICT: Kevin Smith's Clerks meets H.P. Lovecraft in this exceptional thriller that makes zombies relevant again.

Some time has passed since the events of John Dies at the End. Dave is happily dating Amy and undergoing court-ordered therapy for shooting a pizza deliveryman with a crossbow. John is mooching off others and peeing off of water towers. Molly the dog is eating whatever food Dave drops on the floor. Life is never "good" in [Undisclosed] but for the moment it is relatively peaceful. That is, until Dave and John become pawns in a sinister science experiment set in motion by the Shadow Men. As the result of gross incompetence and a lack of foresight these two white-trash monster hunters unleash havoc upon the world. Despite a penchant for making mistakes it falls upon Dave and John to wrong the rights and fight evil.

John Dies at the End by David Wong (pseudonym of Jason Pargin, Senior Editor and columnist for Cracked.com) was the best book I read in 2010. On my list of favorite books of all time it is near the top. By the time I encountered it there were already a legion of diehard fans and talk of a film adaption by Don Coscarelli, the director of Bubba Ho-Tep. So I was late to the party but I sought to remedy that with the sequel, This Book is Full of Spiders: Seriously Dude, Don't Touch It. I was honored to receive an ARC that I promptly read cover to cover.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Got home 4:45PM, saw package in mailbox. Knew right away what it was. Put it on the side, put it to the back of my mind, delaying what I knew must happen just a while longer. Walked the dog. Got myself prepared.. Motionally (couch), emotionally(things), physically(drink/snack)...

5:30PM .. Opened the packaging..

Out jumped a spider.

Let me preface the rest of this review by first saying that if you havent yet already read john Dies at the End then what are you reading reviews of the sequel for??!??! Go buy John Dies.. now .. Go read it tonight.. Thank me or curse me out later, either way, and then come back here.

Ok, you caught up now? Good. This book is not John Dies at the End... This is a much much much darker tale. There is humor to be sure, but it's humor that plays like the 1st breath of fresh air you take after swimming through a lake of rancid feces. It's like sunbathing during the eye of a hurricane, which just demolished every house in the neighborhood except yours, and you know is 5 minutes away from coming back to remedy that. It's a short break in between what should come to be known as one of the best horror novels written in years. The true source of the real horror the book has to show though may just shock you. The story carries you throughout the distance of the book like a manic monkey crab, thing.. Setting up an intricate net that hangs just outside of your vision, waiting to be drawn shut around you. The web David Wong spins would make even the darkest shadow pale in comparison. The tension built up to a tipping point the slightest fart could blow over, and just when you think it couldn't possible take you any further..

11:45 PM...
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Format: Hardcover
John Dies at the End is an incredibly original, fun, and at times genuinely horrific story about a couple of losers being forced to battle meat monsters, Shadow Men, the inter-dimensional terror Korrok, and their own ineptitude. This Book is Full of Spiders takes this concept and runs with it for about 100 pages, before dropping it for a more serious tone.

The book picks up an unspecified amount of time after JDatE. Dave and John are still wandering without direction, living in squalor, and occasionally dealing with horrors. New dangers emerge as parasitic spiders take over humans and change them into murderous monstrosities. Dave and John jump into action, handling the situation as they have so many others; with humor, improvised weapons, and fire. Unlike previous situations, this makes the situation exponentially worse, and they quickly realize it.

At this point things take a sharp turn. The jokes trickle off, the main characters get splintered into their own separate paths, and we learn something very important; Dave and John are a team for a reason. Neither works especially well without the other, and all of the stories lack the same spark that had been present in the first 100 pages, or the entirety of the first book.

This setup is however necessary for what end up being the overriding themes of the book. The characters are all given a chance to grow up to varying degrees, and frankly Dave and John completely enable each other, so it never would have happened without them being separated. To be honest, I did not especially want to see them grow. I wanted to see the hilarity that always came from them enabling each other, and handling serious, world ending situations with the mentality of grown children.
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