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Comment: It has clean crisp pages, a tight binding. The Dust Jacket has some minor shelfwear, but otherwise the book is nearly perfect-- with no writing or highlighting. 100% Money Back Guarantee. Shipped to Thousands of happy customers. FAST SHIPPING! Ships direct from Amazon. Free shipping on orders over $35! And Free 2nd day shipping on orders over $49! Tracking number and Amazon customer service provided with every order.
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This is How I Find Her Hardcover – September 1, 2013

4.3 out of 5 stars 26 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

Gr 9 Up–Sixteen-year-old Sophie is artistic, smart, and easygoing–a perfect daughter in an imperfect home. When she comes home from school to find her mother unconscious and sprawled out in their shared bedroom, a near-empty bottle of pills spilled nearby, Sophie's well-orchestrated world tips as she calls 911 and her difficult road to admission, acceptance, and looking for help begins. Sophie has been caring for Amy, who battles bipolar disorder, since she was 11. Nobody, not even Amy's sister, Aunt Cynthia, speaks about Amy's illness. Now as Amy recovers in the hospital, Sophie temporarily moves in with her aunt, uncle, and teenage cousin. She is shaken from the guilt of being unable to make Amy take her prescribed medication and the shame of what happens when she doesn't. Sophie is also devastated by her mother's actions. She wants to know  “how my mother could do this knowing I would be the one to find her…or whether she thought of me at all.” Sophie returns to school feigning an interest in friends and projects while constantly unsettled with worry, and readers see her struggle to adapt, adjust, and cope with her conflicted feelings, including, “the part of my life that's been better since my mother left.” Sophie's voice is unflinchingly honest and convincing. Amy is the catalyst but the story is all Sophie's. She is astute and courageous, daring to effect a satisfying and compassionate resolution. A difficult topic made approachable by well-crafted writing.–Alison Follos, formerly at North Country School, Lake Placid, NYα(c) Copyright 2013. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

From Booklist

Sixteen-year-old Sophie lives an insular life, caring for her mother who suffers from bipolar disorder. Then her mother attempts suicide, and Sophie is the one to discover her comatose body. Clinging to memories of her mother’s playfulness and affection, Sophie is determined that no one should learn the truth, lest they realize how Sophie has failed to protect her mother. She steadfastly believes that no one actually cares about her or her mother, despite evidence to the contrary. Over time, Sophie comes to realize that her impenetrable wall of solitude acts less as a protection from the judgment of others and more as a barrier against badly needed support. Told from Sophie’s point of view, this is a grim read for the first half of the book. Readers understand that Sophie is so mired in her own depression that she filters out gestures of kindness or friendship, which she misinterprets as hostile or insincere. While some readers may be deterred by the unrelenting heaviness of Sophie’s burdens, other teens will relate to Sophie’s alienation. Young people are too often de facto caretakers of their own parents, and this novel delivers a clear message: ask for help. An excellent recommendation for any teen burdened with adult responsibilities. Grades 8-11. --Diane Colson
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: AW Teen (September 1, 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0807578770
  • ISBN-13: 978-0807578773
  • Product Dimensions: 5.8 x 0.9 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,845,104 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Hardcover
The first thing you will realize when you start this book is that Sophie is dealing with much more than most teens do. Her mother’s attempted suicide isn’t a total surprise to Sophie, who has been living with her mother’s bipolar disorder for years, but it is still an act that sends Sophie’s word into chaos and confusion. While her mom is in the hospital, Sophie is forced to be reunited with her aunt’s family, who used to be a big part of her life. I think the relationship that Sophie slowly starts to understand between her mom and her aunt was one of the truly brilliant things about this book. The family history and the reason for their estrangement seems wholly plausible to an adult, but for Sophie, it was hurtful and confusing. The way that one person’s mental illness can touch the lives of everyone around them rang true in a way that resonated deeply with me as a reader. Her mother’s illness isolated Sophie from friends and family until she and her mom were basically left alone to face down the demons of bipolar disorder.

I guess what really grabbed me about this book was the how real Sophie’s voice was to me. This was a girl that desperately wanted to reach out for help, but had been scared for so long, that she almost didn’t know how to accept kindness from people. Her mother wasn’t physically abusive or emotionally abusive. It was the burden of mental illness that rested not only on her mother’s shoulders, but on the shoulders of Sophie, which drove her to act in ways that confused people. Sophie’s painstaking journey back to a place where she could even start to trust those she used to be close to, was riveting. I think that anyone who has had to deal with mental illness or has had to care for a mentally ill loved one will immediately feel a kinship with this book.
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Format: Kindle Edition
Full review on Reader's Dialogue: [...]

I love this book. It made me cry countless times. Much more than a story about living with a family member's bipolar disorder, it's about figuring out when it's ok to give and give and give to someone who really needs help, and when it's time to start taking things for yourself and step back from being the pillar that person leans on. Because it's really heartbreaking that Sophie has had to take charge of someone else's problems when she was as young as 11, and that she was never able to have a normal teenage life because of it. Of course, her aunt should have been there and she made some very bad choices herself, but even her aunt shouldn't have to deal with it, which by the end of the book everyone, including Sophie's mother, realizes. The other characters' interactions strengthen this idea, both Sophie's cousin Leila and their friend James. The most heartwrenching moment, though, is when some kids present an English project that should never have been approved, because regardless of whether anyone in the class has dealt with suicide, making jokes about such serious subjects is disgusting. This book has so many subtle (or not so subtle) "lessons," aside from telling a deeply compelling story about a young girl's journey to find herself and climb out of the debris that has been her life up till then.
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Format: Hardcover
"This Is How I Find Her" is beautifully written with thoughtful character development. Accessible to young people, but honest and authentic about the struggles and conflicting emotions that accompany mental illness. A great book for young people who have had to live with mental illness, but also great for those who have not.
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Format: Hardcover
At first I thought Sophie, the narrator and main character, had a very rigid shell around her heart and I wondered if she could ever, or would ever, let anyone or anything help her through the adult-size crisis she, through no fault of her own, was forced to endure. As Sophie stumbles through her crumbling world, trying to act as if her life didn't hold horrible secrets and worse betrayals, the author skillfully and slowly unwinds the back story of why Sophie found it so hard to trust any family and any adult in her life. I am very impressed with this first novel by Sara Polsky because as I looked through Sophie's eyes I now have a much better understanding of the pain and stress of dealing with mental illness in the immediate and broader family units. Excellent plot and character development. I am looking forward to more from this talented author.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I read this book because as a teenager dealt with a mother with mental illness. I could relate to the stress of trying to keep a mother happy at all costs. However, I'm probably a little old for this book's audiance. There was too much discriptive narrative in this book for my taste. I skim over some of it. Over all, not a bad read.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I opened and closed this book within hours....I simply couldn't walk away. The flow of Sophie's voice, the heartache, the wisdom, the sadness...every emotion humanly possible is felt as you cover the ground of not only a mother/daughter relationship, but a redefining of family. Anyone who has watched someone they love, or maybe even themselves, suffer a mental illness will connect with the main characters immediately. There is no small players in this book, each character has a point....I found this unique from any book I have ever read. Sara Polsky found a way to write a novel that will both haunt and fulfill me for years to come. I am older than the average YA novel crowd, but I felt myself at 15 watching my own mother suffer as I read Sophie's words just as I felt myself as the mother to a 15 year old as I encountered the idea of Cynthia protecting her own child from her sister's downfall and guilt for leaving both her niece and sister behind and alone. A beautiful story that is well worth every dime. Brava, Ms. Polsky, Brava.
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