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Jackie Shannon Hollis

This Particular Happiness: A Childless Love Story Paperback – Illustrated, October 1, 2019

by Jackie Shannon Hollis (Author), Jody Day (Foreword)

4.4 88 ratings

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Knowing where your scars come from doesn’t make them go away. When Jackie Shannon Hollis marries Bill, a man who does not want children, she joyfully commits to a childless life. But soon after the wedding, she returns to the family ranch in rural Oregon and holds her newborn niece. Jackie falls deep into baby love and longing and begins to question her decision. As she navigates the overlapping roles of wife, daughter, aunt, sister, survivor, counselor, and friend, she explores what it really means to choose a different path. This Particular Happiness delves into the messy and beautiful territory of what we keep and what we abandon to make the space for love.

Print length

294 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Forest Avenue Press
Publication date

October 1, 2019
Reading age

18 years and up
Dimensions

6 x 0.75 x 9 inches
ISBN-10

1942436394
ISBN-13

978-1942436393
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Editorial Reviews

Review

“This Particular Happiness, is a deeply moving story about Jackie Shannon Hollis’s decades-long yearning to have a child―and her complicated decision not to. But it’s also about so much more than that. With honesty, generosity, precision and insight, Hollis writes the story of her life―from her girlhood in rural Oregon, where she both broke and followed the rules, to her hard-earned self-acceptance at middle age. This Particular Happiness is a gloriously wise memoir about one woman’s unexpected path to becoming.”
―Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild

"This deeply engaging memoir wrestles with one of the most important questions of all: Why do we want what we want? Jackie Shannon Hollis explores how her own desires have been shaped by a culture that celebrates 'mother' more than any other role for women, and the possibilities that open up when she chooses not to play the role. A vibrant, absorbing, intimate book."
―Leni Zumas, author of Red Clocks

"We all know that having a child changes everything, but so, too, does not having one, and in Hollis’s brave, moving memoir, she explores the bliss, the yearning, the making peace with a life she and her partner chose (and didn't choose), and how happiness takes on shapes we can never imagine. The perfect book for anyone contemplating motherhood―or not!"
--Caroline Leavitt, New York Times bestselling author of Pictures of You

"This Particular Happiness examines the particularly female journey―how and where do we make room for love? And whether lover, wife, mother, or daughter, how can we be our most authentic selves? Jackie Shannon Hollis explores this rich terrain with clarity and courage, in spare and lovely prose evocative of the high plains landscape and fertile farmland she hails from."
―Jennie Shortridge, author of Love Water Memory

“An ideal memoirist. Her prose is honest and open; she presents herself, with all her shortcomings, in the same direct light as her other characters.”
―The Oregonian

“Jackie Shannon Hollis takes a topic that is typically whispered about and stares at it unflinchingly: a woman’s decision whether or not to have children. She questions the cultural conditioning (told by movies, television, and our families), along with her own biological and emotional responses, that a childless woman is failing to fulfill her destiny. What she excavates during this psychological dig is the truth that what makes any woman’s life successful is the woman herself. A powerful book for both genders and any sexual orientation.”
―Kate Carroll de Gutes, author of The Authenticity Experiment

“Sit down. Make tea. Hold This Particular Happiness by Jackie Shannon Hollis in your hands and read it slowly because she has written you a love letter. Maybe the intimacy in this prose comes from the tender way she observes. Maybe it’s the lyrical prose flexing, revealing the complicated choices one couple makes under the pressures of small towns, big events, changing times, and the relentless pursuit of understanding. Surely, it’s her writing that captures her wanting that is as open as the wheat country that formed her. In this love letter, you will find your own ‘beautiful ache.’”
―Kate Gray, author of Carry the Sky

“In This Particular Happiness, Jackie mines the depths of who she is and how she wants to be in this complicated world. She doesn't settle for the obvious path, and even though there's some disappointment and heartbreak, she learns how to love and be loved in just the way she wants. This book is a celebration of living life using your own damn map.”
―Yuvi Zalkow, author of A Brilliant Novel in the Works

“This Particular Happiness claims an important place in the conversation about what it means to be female, especially a female who doesn’t follow the script written by a traditional rural family. Written in honest and intimate chapters, this stunning debut memoir is ultimately a love letter to the power of choice. It is sure to be a must read for every young woman contemplating a childless future, and a few older women wishing they could be granted a do-over.”
―Sheila Hamilton, author of All the Things We Never Knew

“This Particular Happiness is the eloquent unfolding of Jackie Shannon Hollis’s lifelong understanding of and relationship to her own body: what it could do for her, how it could be used against her, and, ultimately, how she claimed it as her own. Her prose is both achingly beautiful and precise, underscoring the journey of discovering integrity to oneself, and the promise of true love.”
--Liz Prato, author of Volcanoes, Palm Trees, and Privilege: Essays on Hawaii

“This book drew me in from the very first scene and gave me what I want in a memoir: the opportunity to see inside a very particular experience as well as to ponder big questions. What blend of family, culture, and personality inform our expectations? What do we seek from love and intimacy? How do we build defenses against trauma? How do we change? Hollis writes with a clarity and rhythm that makes the reading easy going even as she covers difficult and complex territory. The artful interweaving of storylines and time periods reveals a hard-won wisdom. Any person who has wondered about the path not taken―especially as it relates to child-rearing―will find themselves riveted.”
―Zoe Zolbrod, author of The Telling

“Jackie Shannon Hollis’s This Particular Happiness doesn’t keep secrets. It’s bare-naked honest. What a relief. Another sparkling moment of honesty, what we need, what we crave, what we try to remember.”
―Leanne Grabel, author of Brontosaurus: Memoir of a Sex Life

From the Back Cover

As a farm girl in eastern Oregon, feeding bottles to bummer lambs and babysitting her little sister, Jackie Shannon Hollis expected to become a mother someday. After a series of failed relationships, she met Bill, the man she wanted to spend her life with. But he was a man who never wanted children. Saying I do meant saying I dont to a rite of passage her body had prepared her for since puberty.
Told in short nonlinear chapters, This Particular Happiness explores the fracturing of female identity as Shannon Hollis questions her childless decision, navigates her roles as daughter and wife and sister and friend, and ultimately learns to listen to her own heart. This debut memoir is about what we keep and what we abandon to make space in our lives for love.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Forest Avenue Press; Illustrated edition (October 1, 2019)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 294 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1942436394
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1942436393
Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 14.4 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.75 x 9 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #1,551,454 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #4,893 in Motherhood (Books)
- #7,632 in Marriage
- #16,150 in Women's Biographies

Customer Reviews:
4.4 88 ratings

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Jackie Shannon Hollis

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Jackie Shannon Hollis is an author, storyteller and speaker. Her forthcoming memoir, This Particular Happiness: A Childless Love Story will be released October 1, 2019 (Forest Avenue Press). Her writing, has been described as honest and intimate, exploring complex human issues in prose that is both direct and lyrical. Her work has appeared in various literary magazines, including The Sun, Rosebud, Inkwell, High Desert Journal, VoiceCatcher, Nailed, and Slice Literary.

Jackie grew up with four siblings on a ranch on the east side of Oregon, where the views were filled with wheat fields and horses, cows and combines. Now she lives with her husband in Portland, on the west side of the state, where the view holds cedar trees, raised-bed gardens, and the mail truck coming down the street.

Jackie’s early jobs included taking orders at the windows of the Shoe String drive-in. She saved money for college by driving potato and wheat truck and went to the University of Oregon, and later Portland State University where she received a master’s degree in social work. She spent many years working as a counselor in chemical dependency treatment, and also worked in human resources.

Always curious about the ways we humans relate, Jackie and her husband, Bill, lead workshops on communication, conflict management, and building successful relationships. Jackie cohosted two seasons of Yuvi Zalkow’s Neurotic Tornado: A Podcast about Relationships and the Beautiful Messiness of Being Together. Jackie also brings together her love of shaping words and connecting with others in workshops, hosted by the Multnomah County library, for people experiencing houselessness and other hardships.

Jackie’s memoir, This Particular Happiness, explores the complicated relationship with the self through the lens of childlessness and the unfolding relationships between husband and wife, mother and daughter, friends, and sisters. Woven through the story, Jackie also tracks the long-term impact of being the survivor of sexual assault. As a childless woman surrounded by children (with over forty nieces and nephews and grand nieces and nephews), Jackie believes we all have an important role in supporting the children in our lives. Learn more about Jackie at www.jackieshannonhollis.com

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5

88 global ratings

5 star		67%
4 star		18%
3 star		7%
2 star		3%
1 star		5%

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Top reviews from the United States

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VP

I laughed and cried reading this memior -worth the read

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 7, 2019

Verified Purchase

I had the pleasure of meting Jackie &her Husband Bill though a skype/ zoom seminar , The way Both of them put me at ease as I saw their obvious shine though for one another. I knew immediately I would be purchasing the book! I'm so glad I did , Jackie Was candid about growing up in small town and the subtle expectation that society some times has , is that you grew up got married had kids and lived happily ever after. Jackie teaches us what happens in this life when take the road less traveled through heartbreak love and sadness Jackie finds the love of her life in Bill who describes himself as child-free but through this wonderful book I find that the author and her husband are great at mothering and fathering their nieces and nephews as well as many friends kids , Lastly maybe the title of childless and childfree are too narrow to describe Jackie &Bill . They take lookout for their relationship and help many others navigate through life . This Particular Happiness shows you what true love is about! A must read ! One of the best books of 2019! IT made me believe in love again.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Tiffany Maggard

WOW. Couldn’t put it down. Finished in 24 hours!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on August 15, 2021

Verified Purchase

I pre-ordered this book because the topic hit home for me, yet delayed reading for the very same reason. In addition, I’ve had a streak of bad luck with first-time authors so when I finally opened it, I did so reluctantly. But wow. I wish I had read this sooner. I could identify with every thought and every feeling expressed. A constant refrain in my head was, “me too!” For the first time, I truly felt un-alone in my decision, in my pain, and in my happiness regarding this particular topic. And it turns out Jackie Shannon Hollis is a phenomenal writer! This book was, and will always be, a true gift to me. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

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Julie H.

A truly eye opening read

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on January 1, 2021

Verified Purchase

This is hands down one of the best books I have ever read. I wish I could personally thank the author. I relate to SO much about her life it has really made me feel so validated and not alone. At 38 I really have not felt the longing for having children like most women do. However I do get small urges and uncertainty when I see my best friend with her children or worry about regretting it later. There are so many experiences of becoming/being a mother that I Would like to experience but after reading
This book, I realize it is mostly due to wanting to be accepted and truly SEEN by others. To be celebrated. This has been extremely eye opening for me. Thank you Jackie for
This amazing book- I am forever grateful.

Helpful

Christine Campbell

Staying Vulnerable, Curious and relational through BIG differences - that is real intimacy

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 28, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book is such a important book about being a couple - being together and finding a path to stay together even when we individually want very different paths. For me this defines intimacy - in-to-me-see - with acceptance and not care-taking. Jackie writes so beautiful her own ache to be a mother and how she came into that moment in her life when she really had to wrestle with what it would mean to not be that mother. She also shared Bill with us quite beautifully and respectfully. I loved reading the book and would highly recommend this for anyone wanting to deepen their understanding of intimacy. Great read!!

One person found this helpful

Helpful

HJ

Beautiful and Tender Portrait of Living

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on November 21, 2019

Verified Purchase

This book is about so much more than the decision to have children. It's a conversation about choice, which in so many ways turns out to be a conversation about what it means to be human. Life is a series of choices, and doing and choosing one thing always means not doing or having something else. It's a meditation on decision-making, trauma, motherhood, marriage, but the writing is never sentimental or over-done. It strikes the right balance of melancholy and hope page after page. A thoroughly enjoyable and thought-provoking read.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

SVWalker

Well Worth Reading

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on November 20, 2019

Verified Purchase

I purchased this book because it was written by a dear old friend. Our parents were friends.
Parts of her story felt so much like my own. There's something about a small town.
Jackie is a brilliant story teller. I have loaned the book to coworkers, male and female, and all have remarked about how the book speaks to them.
I'm ready for her next book!

One person found this helpful

Helpful

Susan M F C

Great read for childless or friends/family of

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 14, 2020

Verified Purchase

Most childless women will relate to some or many of the poignant experiences in this beautiful memoir. I am a childless woman for reasons similar to the author's. It touched me in its raw truth. We need more literary voices to speak eloquently for the childless experience.

One person found this helpful

Helpful

jcalamia87

Excellent read for women of all ages!

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on October 19, 2020

Verified Purchase

A truly honest, heart felt story. I think women at any stage in their life can relate and appreciate this book!

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

Jan Ransom

A slice of real life, on a plate.

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on October 17, 2019

Verified Purchase

I first read this book as a manuscript, I found it deeply personal, something shared between friends. I now read it in print as a book, and it has matured, become more rounded, and something to be shared. As a manuscript I found it difficult to divorce myself from the Jackie (and Bill) that I know and love. As a book it has transformed into a life story that any adult can identify with. Should I ? Shouldn’t I ? Yes I will. No I won’t. What if………Jackie helps us explore ourselves through her own thoughts and decisions and predicaments. She helps us to understand our choices or those of others and how to make life work with them. This is not just a must for anyone coming to terms with childness, it is a must for anyone who just likes to see a slice of real life, honest and true. The audiobook is going to be an amazing experience, I just know it.

2 people found this helpful

A Beer

Simply beautiful.......

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on October 28, 2019

Verified Purchase

Oh my goodness, I was gripped from the very first chapter. The only word I can use to describe this book, the writing and Jackie’s story is... Beautiful 💕 I cried during the first chapter and I cried during the final chapter.
It’s a searingly honest and touching memoir, where Jackie bears her soul, her past self and the amazing person she has grown to be, with the reader.
A truly beautiful boo to read.

2 people found this helpful

Evelina Rimkute

Sincere and inspiring

Reviewed in Germany 🇩🇪 on February 18, 2021

Verified Purchase

We need more stories like that. About true life, different life models and sincerity. None of the path in our life are easy, and we end up feeling resentment for something.
I have cried and felt the joy together with the pages of a story. A brave decisions and never ending search of own way.

See all reviews

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