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Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry: A Self-Help Book for Sex Workers Paperback – July 13, 2017

4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 248 ratings

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Sex work is “easy money?” Hardly. The adult industry is riddled with pitfalls and dangers. Erotic labor is often emotionally demanding, draining, and complex. It can be hard to know who to turn to for advice on keeping yourself safe and sane. Lola Davina, former stripper, dominatrix, porn actress and escort, provides the life skills you need to prosper, including: •Cultivating friendships, community, and romance •Mastering money•Debunking sex industry myths such as you have to be flawless, or clients hate to hear “no”•Avoiding trigger states, like loneliness, fatigue, boredom, anxiety and depression, that lead to bad decision-making and burnout•Surviving bad calls, shifts, and shoots — and so much more…Thriving in sex work means having a healthy body, mind, heart, and bank account. No matter your job title or gender, whether you’re independent or work for someone else, if you want to succeed in sex work, this book is for you.

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Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Erotic as Power Press LLC, The (July 13, 2017)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 308 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0998892068
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0998892061
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.77 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.8 4.8 out of 5 stars 248 ratings

About the author

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Lola Davina
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Lola Davina has spent more than 25 years in and around the sex industry, working as a stripper, dominatrix, porn actress, and escort over a fifteen-year period. She has earned an M.A. in Human Sexuality and an M.S. in Nonprofit Fundraising, and writes a self-care and wellness column for YNOTcam.com.

Customer reviews

4.8 out of 5 stars
248 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book extremely helpful, informative, and meaningful. They describe it as appealing, a joy to read, and well-written. Readers also mention the author's tone is kind and her advice is sound. In addition, they describe the content as heartfelt, loving, and comforting.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

41 customers mention "Insight"41 positive0 negative

Customers find the book helpful, informative, and meaningful. They say it's an excellent uplifting read that gives them a better understanding of the sex industry and renews their passion for their work.

"...She brings her own vast experience in the industry, but she also presents serious, well-documented structures and solutions from disciplines ranging..." Read more

"...Part compassionate psychology and part level-headed planning, this book and the advice that it shares is going to mean the world to our currently..." Read more

"...I liked that it was geared to all aspects of sex-work, because a lot of us work in various roles, and although there's serious differences, most of..." Read more

"...comes with realizing you can and will overcome your struggles, satisfy your desires, meet your needs and wants, live your dreams, quell your fears..." Read more

17 customers mention "Readability"17 positive0 negative

Customers find the book amazing, appealing, and practical. They say it's a joy to read and empowers the reader.

"...This books attempts to break through that and empowers the reader...." Read more

"...what a sex worker's life is about this is a very smart, saavy and practical read...." Read more

"I can't recommend this book enough. It is absolutely amazing and everything I needed...." Read more

"this book is amazing. I’m a cam model and a stripper and this book helps me get by, cheers me up when I’m sad...." Read more

12 customers mention "Writing style"12 positive0 negative

Customers find the writing style wonderful, inviting, and caring. They also say the author's tone is kind and her perspective is informed. Readers mention the book is easy to read and provides an interesting story.

"...That said, she writes in an approachable, girlfriend-y voice that makes you feel like she wrote this book just for you.*..." Read more

"...Wonderfully written with an open, inviting, and deeply caring voice that guides the readers through an intricate world of considerations about an..." Read more

"...Additionally, the book is very well written, easy to read and provides an interesting look at the business end of a non-traditional industry." Read more

"...Ms. Davina writes absolutely beautifully. I was so engaged start to finish." Read more

8 customers mention "Heartfelt content"8 positive0 negative

Customers find the content loving, compassionate, and meaningful. They also say the voice in the writing is comforting and reassuring.

"...power and earning money with it unapologetically, and it offers all the heartfelt, streetwise wisdom you want from a mentor in any profession...." Read more

"...The advice given within is kind yet firm, reassuring, heartfelt, and obviously comes from years of experience...." Read more

"...Thriving in Sex Work” is full of love, care, and really practical advice for problem-solving, and I appreciate it so much." Read more

"...this book to all my sex working buddies because it is the most heart felt, loving and practical resource for sexy workers I know of...." Read more

A ‘bible’ for all sex workers
5 out of 5 stars
A ‘bible’ for all sex workers
Love this book! Having been sex worker for over 10 years, it’s sometimes a disheartening and isolating career. To read really practical advice on staying sane within the industry is so helpful, to keep you going. I live my job and want to do it for the rest of my life, and with this book as my ‘bible’ though it, I know I’ll achieve all that I want.Just a side note: although this book is an American publication, so organisations and laws mentioned are American focussed, there’s still much more practical information than anything I’ve ever read before. You won’t be disappointed you bought it.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on July 31, 2017
This is a book about wielding your sexual power and earning money with it unapologetically, and it offers all the heartfelt, streetwise wisdom you want from a mentor in any profession.

Lola does not candy-coat the experience of the sex industry, but she does not judge, demonize, or victimize sex workers either. To say her tone is nonjudgmental is an understatement. She doesn’t just avoid slut shaming; she challenges it head-on and offers sex workers thoughtful, well-reasoned encouragement and support.

And also, Lola has done her homework. Earning her M.A. in Human Sexuality Studies and M.S. in Nonprofit Fundraising obviously taught her an appreciation for solid research. She brings her own vast experience in the industry, but she also presents serious, well-documented structures and solutions from disciplines ranging from philosophy and psychology to business and marketing. That said, she writes in an approachable, girlfriend-y voice that makes you feel like she wrote this book just for you.

*Please note: Often, my book reviews read a little more like love letters. I know that and post my thoughts among the other book reviews on Amazon and GoodReads anyway. Lola is a friend and client. I had the pleasure of reading some of this book in draft form and involvement in the project in its final stages.*
8 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on September 8, 2017
This book sets a new standard of understanding for people both inside and outside the sex working industries.
Wonderfully written with an open, inviting, and deeply caring voice that guides the readers through an intricate world of considerations about an ever important field of work - Sex Work - whose time to shine in our modern American society has finally arrived.
Ultimately, Thriving in Sex Work succeeds in revealing a most surprising reality. That reality being that Sex Work is Real Work - and Hard Work - plain and simple. And that Sex Work is comprised of most if not all the same issues that any career includes - plus, of course, all the additional abilities that must be carefully developed in order to perform a career that demands the absolute most intimate of circumstances.
Part compassionate psychology and part level-headed planning, this book and the advice that it shares is going to mean the world to our currently existing and expanding force of Sex Workers as well as those who care for and love them.
My heartfelt appreciation and admiration to Lola Davina for creating this beautiful book and the gorgeous new vision it presents of Sex Work!
-- Rory Aiken - Author of Hypersexual
7 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2017
What a gift this book is. Working in the sex industry is hard work (no pun intended) that can be isolating and numbing. This books attempts to break through that and empowers the reader. It gives deep support and skills to not just survive the industry, but actually use the work to have a better life, instead of the work using you.
I liked that it was geared to all aspects of sex-work, because a lot of us work in various roles, and although there's serious differences, most of us have to deal with stigma, safety and financials to some degree or another.
I've worked in the industry (in various roles) for decades and wish I'd had this when I was younger. It's a must-read for those entering the field and also a good support for more experienced workers in those times when the work is getting you down.
We've needed a book like this in our community for a long time.
9 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2018
My name is JS Early and I am not a Sex Worker, but I wanted to learn more about the industry...I LOVED this book! You can feel the authors desire to make life easier for Sex Workers and provide them a guide for safety, success, and support. However, the advise and lessons contained in this amazing piece of literary art can apply to anyone in any job. Most of us, deep down, are not so confident and secure as to refuse advice or assistance. You will finish the last page of this wonderful book with a sigh of relief that you are not alone in the world, a confidence that you have the tools to do anything, and the peace of mind that comes with realizing you can and will overcome your struggles, satisfy your desires, meet your needs and wants, live your dreams, quell your fears and put away your doubts. This book ignited in me a renewed interest in tomorrow, an acceptance that the past is the past, the knowledge that I can do anything if I want it enough, and the absolute comfort of knowing none of us has to be alone. To Lola Davina, I send you an endless Thank You and a standing ovation from a grateful heart and renewed spirit!!
12 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on November 29, 2017
If you are in sex work or curious about what it's like this book gives you an inside look at the life of sex workers. Although... it's SO MUCH MORE.

The author takes a deep dive into the "life" and comes back up with genuine insight and practical tips for sex workers. There are tips and strategies to deal with physical safety as one would expect, but there is practical and wise advice for emotional and Financial safety too. If you're in the "life" and feeling burnt out or you think you know what a sex worker's life is about this is a very smart, saavy and practical read. It's also completely inclusive and the author shares many detailed personal accounts from her years on the job. The author is also highly educated with 2 degrees. How about that?!
Reviewed in the United States on April 13, 2024
Bought this gift for a friend who recently entered the industry as a way to show her my support. She loved it and tore through it. It made her laugh and cry. Helped her have perspective on challenges she’s come across.

Top reviews from other countries

JOSEPH CHERIYAN
5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Book that lets you have an insider's viewpoints on Sex-work
Reviewed in India on March 2, 2022
Well, if you are curious to know what a sex worker goes through and what problems she might confront while at work this is the best book for you. I was deeply impressed by the list of books mentioned in the bibliography. Lona read quite extensively before she began writing her book. There are plenty of on-line resources that she mentions for ladies in sex work. The book does not invite anyone to enter sex work nor does it endorse this sort of a life style. All she does is offer practical advise to those who are in sex work for one reason or the other. Well, if you are a whore, be a well- informed, empowered and educated whore. And if you are not a whore, try to understand her world.
So, grab this book and read it.
Syd7
5.0 out of 5 stars ... positive and informative insight into how to be the best sex worker you can be
Reviewed in Canada on September 20, 2017
A well written book with a lot of positive and informative insight into how to be the best sex worker you can be. Kudos to Lola for providing this wonderful and much needed material to the sex industry. I recommend for every women thinking about entering the business.
Queen Faev
5.0 out of 5 stars Best book for sex work!!!
Reviewed in Germany on July 2, 2019
This is the best advice kind of book I have found in a very long time. It hits areas in sex work I didn’t realize I was going through AND gives helpful advice on how to fix it. Thank YOU!
Sarah
5.0 out of 5 stars Just as described
Reviewed in Australia on September 8, 2024
Just as described. Arrived quickly and safely
Kharma Jones
5.0 out of 5 stars so validating
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 11, 2018
wow. I repeat WOW. this. book. is. amazing. I am a Professional Dominatrix and even though I had been in the industry for almost 6yrs when I read this book - I still found it so incredibly helpful. to know that others felt the way I did. to know others had similar experiences to mine. I felt so validated. and thats important in any aspect of life. but especially in sex work. Lola Davina has so much experience and charisma and most importantly - empathy. She truly wants to help sex workers find their voices, know their rights, stay safe and know their worth. She is an a amazing mentor and role model. not just for sex workers. and tbh my partners found this book extremely helpful too. it helped them better understand why I do what I do, and what I go through. it helped them help me with self care so I dont get burnt out. and I think it helped them let go of the stigma surrounding sex work that was ingrained in them - even though they support whatever I want to do. thanks to Lola's book, I now feel they dont just support my work. they respect it. I CAN NOT RECOMMEND THIS BOOK ENOUGH! AND I CAN NOT WAIT TO USE THE WORKBOOK THAT GOES WITH IT!! LOLA DAVINA IS AN AMAZING AUTHOR, ACTIVIST AND MENTOR! I HOPE SHE KEEP WRITING!!!